... Mom probably does not understand or remember nearly as much as you think she does. Depression, paranoia, fearfulness, withdrawal, and inappropriate emotional responses are all part of the disease. They are a response to what she THINKS is happening, not necessarily what is happening.
If somebody walked up to you and told you that you were going to move to somewhere... (11 replies)
... Thanks for all the replies. Each one has been extremely helpful. I've been down staying with my mom. She is very depressed and knows something is up. They haven't told her she is going in Alzheimer's place by herself. I tried to mention that she would be going to a nice place but she got very agitated.
I told her to come upstairs with me and take a nap. So she did. But she... (11 replies)
... I do believe that the four stages of grief does apply to any loss, not just death. With Alzheimer's there are many losses to grieve. Acceptance that Mom has the disease might not be the same as acceptance that she has progressed to the point that she needs additional care outside of the home. One of the reasons this journey is so difficult.
Not all facilities are... (11 replies)
... I remembered Kubler Ross' 4 stages if grief today. I thought I was in acceptance but I guess I'm in anger and grief.
Went to an awesome Alzheimer's place today. I wanted to move in! It's got 16 acres with a lake and the Memory care unit was so cheerful and pleasant. It's only 30 minutes from me. But I think I'm too late. I think they are set on their place. One... (11 replies)
... I assume your father has the POA for your Mom and it is his decision where she goes. I do agree that not all facilities are equal. I placed my Mom and Dad 45 minutes from me knowing I would be their primary caregiver because it was the best facility for them. You did say your Dad and sister have picked out a facility that specializes in dementia which is a good thing. Mom... (11 replies)
... I just found out my family is placing my mother in an Alzheimer's care place before Christmas. This has come as a shock to me.
I live an hour and a half from my family. My father is 90 and unable to continue to live with the demands of her personality. My sister has found a place for her and is very anxious to get her settled before Christmas.
I am concerned on... (11 replies)
... That is a question individualized to the person with dementia and who/where they work. There are some jobs that will require the person to leave even in the early stages of dementia. There are other jobs that they can do longer. Some companies are willing to adjust the duties to accommodate and some are not. In the early stages of dementia many do understand that they are... (2 replies)
... Cooler, part of the problems is that he will not do them alone. It is better to engage him rather than leave a project for him. He is probably having difficulty with part time memory so he will not remember something you just showed him. Your instruction may be lost as soon as you go. The ability to initiate is also lacking. If you present, he will follow but if you leave... (2 replies)
... Hi Coolerkid,
I don't believe there are any special mental brain program for Alzheimer's patients.
In fact, most of these programs are for prevention.
For Alzheimer's patient, it is better to go with his daily life style. For example, play puzzle or crossword puzzle with him. Play chess if he remembers. Play simple card game with him. I also want to point out that one... (2 replies)
... Can anyone recommend the best kind of 'brain fitness' programs to try? I've looked at Luminosity & Mind Sparke. I want something I can give to someone suffering with Alzheimer's that they can do every day. I notice that the symptoms are at their worst when he is doing very boring, day to day things, but lessen when he is engaged in activities, with company, on vacation, ect.... (2 replies)
... So very sorry to know that your Mom passed. Please accept my condolences.
Poor Dad feels bad. I hope Dad will not have to bear with the bad news too long - he could forget about the death later. He is lonely. If he is in bad pain and no treatment for his cancer, given his Alzheimer's, the family can consider hospice now and you can re-apply for it every 6 months. Hospice... (4 replies)
... There are 80 to 90 different types of dementia... Alzheimer's is just one of them. Parkinson's does have it's own dementia. Each type of dementia has different symptoms and different ways to deal with those symptoms. That is why a good diagnosis is so very important. Mom had Alzheimer's and Dad had Vascular Dementia. What worked with one did not work with the other.
... (7 replies)
... Alzheimer's or any other progressive cognitive decline is a difficult diagnosis. There is no treatment or cure at this time. I am not sure anybody can appreciate or understand the reality of the disease unless they have seen it first hand. It is mind boggling. I am not sure you get more callous. I think you just understand better which makes it a little easier to deal... (4 replies)
... Thanks Deb :)
His diagnosis is Alzheimer's. He is still able to walk, but that varies from halfway normal to troubled...though medicine may have a role. I am not sure if he is incontinent.
Communication is minimal, more the actual content is totally lacking. I have not seen him in a few months(saw him on Thanksgiving for the first time in 2-3 months), and he had no idea... (4 replies)
... SOTM, that is impossible to determine. There are so many variables and each one is an individual. If your relative is still ambulatory, is in not in the very end stages of this disease. Is he having difficulties eating or swallowing? Is there muscle rigidity? Probably not if he is ambulatory. Is he incontinent? Probably. What is his diagnosis, Alzheimer's, Vascular... (4 replies)
... My late parents-in-law didn't want funerals either. We had some sort of small memorial later on for the friends. If you really need to, you can have a small memorial later for your Mom. I am sorry Mom is hanging there now and it is sad for Dad to feel that way.... If possible, given Dad's Alzheimer's, he may need to stay home not attending to the funeral home and etc. It helps... (10 replies)
... An MRI will give a better view of what is going on in the brain than the CT scan. Several things there can point to symptoms that are consistent with different dementia. Fluid on the brain is there, though he says "not that bad". I do wonder what "not that bad" means. I am sure a comparison would be better to see if it is increasing, staying the same, or decreasing. The... (10 replies)
... I have been caring for my 86 y/o mom iin Thailand for over 8 years now and she is still going strong (physically) with no end in sight. Her first symptom of alzheimer's was aphasia and speech went early, so naturally yelling became the only way she could communicate, but as it worsened, I took her for some tests and decided to add stomach med and arthritis meds, as she is... (0 replies)
... You might get better results with a neurologist if your Dad has signs of dementia. The drugs used for Alzheimer's and other dementias work best if started early not late in the disease process. They can be quite effective, but he really needs a diagnosis, as there are different kinds of dementia. I would take him to a neurologist for evaluation and treatment. Be sure he has... (4 replies)
... That is so frustrating Onyx! Yes I have been where you are and know how annoying it is. I do hope you can find a lawyer that will work with you. Check into the Elder Lawyers in your area. They are more familiar with the procedures than a regular lawyer. Call your local Alzheimer's Association chapter or their national hotline. They can give you guidance here as well. ... (10 replies)