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Liz & All....thanks sooo much for all your support. Liz, your grandmother was a wise woman and thanks for sharing her words with me.....the advice does help....I take it all in and gather it together and let it mingle with what I see and usually come up with something worth trying.

I think that Kait is the type to live her life to the fullest just like you say....my best friend told me that she is like a"firefighter" living a life where she can get the adrenalin going where there is a constant "rush". It sort of scares me but if you really think about it, she is choosing a career that is like that....managing a hotel takes alot of personality and energy. Just this summer her working the front desk is full of action. When there is an emergency or problem she is the one that is called into action. Since she has worked there she has had to call in the firefighters, an ambulance, the police, the security guards for unruly guests, fires in a room, wedding guests who are drunk and out of hand. So that is the lifestyle she has chosen and it does certainly fit her personality.

She got the official call today that she is going to be doing her internship in a famous resort/casino in which she will not only get her first trimester's credits and experience but also be paid $1500 for the 10 weeks that she works there. Her training will consist of her rotating to all different positions...front desk, entertainment, housekeeping, concierge desk, casino, restaurant and just about every aspect she needs to know in terms of managing a resort. She is soooo excited about it and I am hoping that it will keep her grounded enough to get through the first trimester without any problems and/or concerns.

One good thing is that the urine test that we had taken from her a day after her friends left, when she most likely would have used adderall, came back negative. She is asking to go up to the house she is leasing with one of her suitemates from PA who will come here in two weeks and the two of them will load up stuff to bring to the house to set things up meeting the others. Kait will take one day off so that she has two days to set up.

If she is going to botch it up she will do it when with her college friends away from home. I just don't want her to because she really has everything going for her and I don't know what is going on with her....I still am not convinced that it isn't an underlying condition and she has an academic scholarship and is making the grades. Can anyone help me come up with a clear practical plan that we can follow through with....I just don't want to set Kait up to fail and am thinking that our plan may be unreasonable to yank her out the first time she tests positive....I was thinking that we could tell her that if that happens the house is out and she will have to live in the college dorm but how will we be able to monitor things....she will only end up staying at the house anyway.

I checked with the college and tuition is refundable so long as she doesn't sit in the first class. But she is capable of getting the grade and working the job....what if she really does have the BP/ADD impuslivity and lack of judgement that if with treatment would keep her away from seeking out drugs/alcohol that could bring more harm to her. However, if Kait isn't at the realization that this is a problem and that she needs help it will be very difficult to diagnose her.

Over at ADD board some of the posters who are ADD had addictions and say that it wasn't until they came to the realization as they matured and admitted to themselves that they needed help rather than saying that there is no problem and lying and scheming to keep it hidden, that they actually got diagnosed properly. Many there have said that they were into drugs but once they started the right med had no urge to use any alcohol or drugs anymore. I am not sure if we can enforce what we are saying to Kait without her being perhaps pushed into seeking out drugs even more for feeling like a failure.

EYES ~ Part of me agrees that Kait is experiencing life as many college students experience it these days. Believe me, I went to a private Catholic school and even way back then there were really scary things going on so I can only imagine what is going on at colleges today. What if I do set her up to fail??? I want her to have consequences but realistic ones and I am not sure if we are doing that. I KNOW that when she lives in a house there will be more partying and other things I probably don't even want to know about but then again, she will be working a full time job in training and be graded upon her performance and that should keep her on track....right???

Well here I am thinking outloud again.

EYES...Happy Birthday to Mrs. EYES.....she sounds like the PERFECT match for you!!

I went for a physical today....I have been having headaches for the past week and my blood pressure is up. My EKG was alright but it does concern me.

I am beginning to think that this all is taking a toll on me and I MUST find a way to make sure that I take care of ME. I try to but it all is coming at me full force and I don't know how to stop it. I told hubby that I need his help to take on some of the worry and enforcement of issues....he is of great support but he is going to have to take more of it on so that I can take some of the pressure off.

I need to learn to let go....Kait has one chance to make it in college and if she blows it she will be working in a McDonalds perhaps not even there depending on how things go. When the till runs empty that is it....I am trying to let go and let GOD.

When each of my girls were born I raised them up thanking God for bestowing such a gift to me knowing that HE was lending them to me for a while...that they were HIS and that I would do my best to love and guide them. I am finding myself offering them up to HIM again knowing that I have pretty much done my job and that the time has come fot them to put it all into action with HIS guidance. I need to trust HIM to take care of them and by doing so I may be fortunate enough to see it all work out in the end.......knowing that with hope and faith all things are possible.

I hope that the time will come that I will look back on all of this and it will all be a big blurr and I will see that there was a purpose for it.

Erin did her training for the grocery store today from 8am-5pm and then worked McDonlad's from 5pm to 9pm. She called me mid-day and was in a terrific mood....I have seen her really doing well this past month. In fact she was able to tell me that she was stressed when I picked her up at 5pm and she told me that she took an extra 25mgs of Seroquel to help her through. She even told me that she is noticing how she needs her sleep and cancelled an early appointment for her best friend's dad to interview her at 8am for a video tape he is making for her 16th birthday. She asked him to come later because she needed her sleep.:D

So.....things are really going well with Princess #2....it didn't seem like we would ever get there but we are finally beginning to see that light at the end of the tunnel. So there IS hope and I am here to share that with you.

Now we only have to hope the same for Princess #1.:)

Love & (((HUGS))) to all ~ Goody:angel: :wave:





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