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Death & Dying Message Board


Death & Dying Board Index


:wave: Unless angels come in 5' tall bodies and an odd sense of humor I'm just going to have to chalk it up to real life and mods with a sense of humor. I got my name after coming up with a ton of ones that wouldn't work, so the mods named me! Go figure...apparently they have a sense of humor too!

Another thing that I did, was when my mom was dying, I made some jewelry for the friends and family. I made three identical ones, one for me, my mom and my sister. My mom is buried with one, and we have the other two. Purple was her favorite color, so I chose three large purple stones, spaced with lilac cat's eye, purple crystal and silver. I were it every day and it gives me some comfort knowing she is also wearing hers.

My grandma also had an interesting idea, although it was hot when my mom died, she bought a few different throws and let my oldest son pick which one she should be buried with. He picked a super soft almost shaggy material that matched the outfit she was buried in. When it was time to close the casket we took the blanket and wrapped it around her lower half and tucked it under her feet just how she liked it.

A few days later, it got really cold and it was a great comfort to know that she was covered and not freezing in the ground at night.

A few months after she died, her old english sheepdog (who had been living with me since a couple weeks after she died) became progressively worse and a couple days after Christmas we had to have her put to sleep. We just got her body back and are going to scatter the ashes in the scrub oak behind where my mom is buried....Cheyenne was her best friend for almost 10 years and they should remain together.

Some other helpful hints are: Do not offer what you are not truely willing to follow through on (for instance, don't say call me any time and then be put out or amazed if it's not for a few months and possibly in the middle of the night....grief strikes hardest when the mind is quiet), drop off the kids any time, etc.....you're better off just keeping quiet rather than risk causing more pain where there is already too much.

And if someone seems to push against you when you help, pay attention, it may be something they want to do to aid in their grieving process...or it may be misplaced anger...in either case, tread lightly.

A friend of mine who miscarried was struggling and I was pregnant...I felt awful...so I told her, "I don't bring it up because I don't want to cause more pain than you're already in, but it's not that I don't want to hear about it, but you may bring it up if and when you're ready and I'm always here to listen to anything you have to say. If you're curious about my pregnancy or have questions, just ask, but unless you ask, I don't mind keeping things to myself out of love and respect for what you're going through."

She didn't say much at the time, but a few weeks later she broke down and just let it all out. She was glad to know I was there for her when she needed or wanted me but that I would also give her her space and understand that although I was thrilled for my pregnancy it currently reminded her that my pregnancy would continue, while hers would not.

Hope it helps. I will also dig through my vast array of not*****s and pull out some of the other things I have come up with in the last few years. I tend to write things down when the inspiration strikes me as they will be lost as soon as my little brain takes a different direction.

Toodles,.................Angel :angel: :bouncing:





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