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Death & Dying Message Board

Death & Dying Board Index

when do you know when someone is in the final stages of lung cancer
I know exactly how you feel asking this question. My Dad died last month from lung cancer. I wanted to know the same thing and I searched the web looking for answers. One thing I noticed was my Dad got weaker and weaker every day. He would get up everyday and it became harder and harder for him to walk and move around. He also found it harder and harder to breathe. The Ativan for breathing stopped working and he started on morpheme which began to not work either. I know everyone is different and has different problems and symptoms, but the decline was pretty evident. I hope this helps.
The final stages of lung cancer are usually marked by extreme weakness & fatigue, shortness of breath, pneumonia, complaints of a very dry mouth, increased pain, especially in the bones or joints & diarrhea. I hope this helps some.
I lost my Mother to lung cancer on Sept 5, 2008.* She fought it for 2 1/2 years.* We realized early this year that she was going down hill and I too searched for the answer to the question, how do you know when someone is in the final stages.* Unfortunately, there is no answer.* Everyone is different.* But I can tell you that you will know.* I live in GA and my parents and family are in PA.* I decided at the last minute to fly to PA and surprise my Mom for Mother's day because I 'knew' it would be her last. My Mom was in and out of the hospital all year. For some reason when she was hospitalized in August, I knew I had to go and be with her.* So my daughter, her 2 month old son and I took off and drove up to PA for a long weekend.* I left for GA the day after she was released from the hospital but she made me promise that I would return in 3 weeks to spend some time with her.* I kept that promise and returned on Saturday, August 30.* My Mom died that Friday, September 5.* I am so glad I was able to be with her at the end.* The point I'm trying to make, is you will know even though there is no concrete answer to how will you know.* My thoughts and prayers are with you.
my husband 65 just died Nov. 8 with lung cancer. dignose Sept 2007. went through chemo and radation , and then May it spread to his stamach. started more chemo. stop in July. got rash on buttocks from clinical trial drugs . put in hospital July 7 and never came home. told if treatmeants wasnt started again which he was too weak to do. it would be around 3 months. didnt miss it far. never saw him in much pain. but he was a very professionail civil engineer and that was enough suffering knowing he would never go back to work. too weak to walk . my baby girl of 27 and I where with him . he just stop breating with her hand on his heart and other holding his hand. he was unconsious for 10 hours. i lost our son in 1999 and my husband the night before sat up and called his name out. i knew it wouldnt be juch longer . even though I whisper, please dont leave me now. take care faye (disney world)
I am desperately seeking answers, if anyone out there can help me on advice it would be greatly appreciated. My mother age 53 has non small cell lung cancer. She was diagnosed February 2008. I did some research and most health care professionals say patients live 1 yr after diagnosis, on average. She's getting weaker, scared, more pain. She's on morphine and has a port in her arm, hospice is now in the picture. And the nurses say she has only a few days to live. I don't know what to do. She gets up during the night with constant urination and dreadful pain in her body. She doesn't eat anymore and her body is basically all bones. Is this it for her? Can there be something else we haven't tried? Shes been through months of chemo, and radiation but unresponsive. Should we have told the doctor to try target drugs like Iressa or Tarceva? I don't want to see my mother in so much pain, she's too young. What else can I do?
Hospice should be able to control her pain as well as tell you exactly what will happen. If she is in pain then they are not doing their job! Call them and tell them you need help and answers. Thant is what they are there for!
yes 53 is so young. Im 59 and young. advice is she should not be in pain at all now. hospice will keep her with morpine. thats there job. my husband had non small cell carcinom also. sounds just like your mom. but he didnt suffer with much pain. he was in hospice for 6 weeks. he died peaceful with his 27 year baby girl holding his hand and the other on his heart. please tell hospice all the pain shes in. at this point im sorry but the cancer has taken over. its won just like my dear hubby on Nov. 8. it will be so sad for you. my baby girl is suffering so much right now. he was her best friend. she lives in New York. and with Christmas just over . it is just too sad for you young people. losing your mom and her dad. wish I could take your pain away. but no one can. honey Im here for you. sound just like my daughter. take care love faye
Im 27 also. I cant stand the fact that she is in so much pain. She's scared. I'm afraid I'm not going to be there when she does pass. I have to work for the finances in my family's home right now, we have no other means for finances. Is this really it for her? How will I know when it is time? I did some research and maybe this Tarceva drug will help her, her mind and heart says she can do it but her body says otherwise.
My father passed 5 years ago also from lung cancer. The angels from hospice kept his pain under control and also provided me with a booklet about the dying experience. Perhaps you can ask about it. It details the signs from several months to weeks, to days down to hours. Afterward I was amazed at the accuracy and happy to have had this information so that I was able to be at his side when he slipped away. It was a "generic" booklet only about 12 pages long. I remember thinking it must be standard issue to all hospice patient's families.
[QUOTE=Dolfins0926;3835708]Im 27 also. I cant stand the fact that she is in so much pain. She's scared. I'm afraid I'm not going to be there when she does pass. I have to work for the finances in my family's home right now, we have no other means for finances. Is this really it for her? How will I know when it is time? I did some research and maybe this Tarceva drug will help her, her mind and heart says she can do it but her body says otherwise.[/QUOTE]

sweetie. hospice can tell you within hours. they told me it would be 2 hours. and he died 2 hours later. we cant compare all cases. but yes comparing him to my hubby yes. never heard of tarceva drug. talk to her as if nothing is wrong but let her know how much you love her and its ok to go. you will be alright. listen to me. I told my husband that many times but the last day I whisper and told him I didnt want him to leave me. you have so much on your plate with working and supportin your family. but after shes gone. life goes on. we all know that. but that but. I could always lend on my husband . no matter what. but when he got sick. I had to go everything. they forclose on my beatiful house of 30 years. I sold as much of my antiques, gun collection and collectiables we has. but thank God I had things i could sell. i never had to change a light bulb. he was always doing things. and I could always put things on the back burner because he would be there to take care of me. and now thats not the case. thats where Jessica my daughter is having a bad time. she could always call him and ask a history question. and in detail he would talk to her. and so many other things. shes glad she was with him. you didnt say whether she is home . if not check to get her in a facility. they want turn you down because of money. im here for you sweetie anytime. take care(disney world)
I lost my mother today early this morning to the horrible disease lung cancer. It took over my mother like a plague, the pain and suffering I watched my mother in was like torture especially when you have no control over it. I was on my way home to see her, and she waited for me to pass on. I told her I was there and I will always and forever love her. I rubbed her back and put my head down on her stomach and her breathing ceased, so did mine. I did'nt want to believe she was gone. Yet I didn't want to be selfish and have her suffer and stay. Her birthday is January 24th, instead of celebrating we will be burying her. The day she was born will be the day she returns to the earth. It's like she knew all along, she held on for us as long as she could, the best damn irish fighter I'll ever know. The strongest person I'll ever know and love. I'm crushed, a part of my heart and soul was ripped out. I hope she will be there to watch over and guide us all.
So very sorry for your loss. Currently Mother is in hospital and I'm praying that God will call her home to be with my Dad. Dementia has robbed her of everything else and this would be a blessing for her. PLUS it would release my sister of her feelings of responsibility for mother's care and any guilt.
But its going to hit her hard as they lived together, ate together and travelled together.

I'll keep you in my prayers, but your mother is at peace. Made whole and healthy and was greeted by any and all who passed before her.

Read 90 minutes in heaven by Don Porter. It will soothe you to know what heaven is like. This man died only that God wouldn't let him stay and he came back to his earthly body 90 minutes after being declared dead.

But he was blessed with the ability to remember his heavenly visit and felt directed by God to share that info with others.

Take Care
Dolfins I'm so very sorry about your Mom passing.
I lost my Dad on August 17th 2008 to NSC lung cancer.
He was living with me on hospice for 3 months before he passed.The docs said he only had 2 weeks,but I know he stayed around to be with us for those 3 months.

We never even had a biopsy,no chemo or radiation.
I also heard of and considered Tarceva.
The doc even wrote as script for it because I asked him to.
We never picked it up or tried it though because like the doctor explained,without he biopsy-we don't know what we're treating.There's different medicine for different types of cancers and the medicine could have hurt more than helped.He also said that it probably wouldn't have worked for my Dad-having been a male and a smoker.

Anyhow,I still wonder what if.But I know in my heart it was God's will and that my Dad is at peace now,and so is your Mom.And we will see them again one day.

Losing someone you've known all your life that you love so much is one of the hardest things we have to go through in life.But we need to carry on.Think of the happy things and how you were there with her.
I am so grateful that I was with my Dad and for those 3 months I had with him.

God bless you and your family.
dolfins,Im so sorry for your loss. Im shedding tears as I write. you the same age as my Jessica. and you being there with her just like Jessica. just breaks my heart. but always remember how much she loved you . and dealth cant take the love and memories away from you. i will say a special prayer for you. disney world. keep the doors open. this board has help me.
dopfhins, hand in there today. my thoughts and prayers are with you, even though we are strangers. we are all gods children. and one day we will all meet. we all on this board will be with you today. we are your guardian angels today. love disney world. faye
i lost my mom in dec 04 then my neice jan08 and now my husband 4 months ago. my husband had lung cancer they told him he had 6 months but he fought hard till the end . he lived 5 years of chemo and radiation. i am fighting to keep the house finacially. i promised i would take care of the 3 dogs. i am not dealing to well with any of this . but each day i find something to get up in the morning for. he stayed home till the day of his death which is what he wanted. it was just the two of us and i miss him so much. yes i cry to every day ,remembering the good times . i dont know what is in store for me or you but some how we will find away to keep going . when times get tough just picture him saying i love you and live for the both of us. i am sorry for your loss and hope you too find peace .

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