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HIV Prevention Message Board

HIV Prevention Board Index

Risk of Hiv
Mar 13, 2016
Hi I am very scared I have hiv. A year ago I began having sex with my boyfriend. I was a virgin, he was not, and had been with a considerable amount of girls before me. The naive me didn't even think of anything before I started having sex with him. We always used a condom except one did break once but we caught it soon after it broke. I did perform oral sex on him often and did not use a condom for this. We ended up breaking up and right after it ended I began freaking out that he gave me herpes or something I was convinced and so scared I ended up being put on anxiety medicine because I'd constantly look all the symptoms up and have them instantly even though I never had a breakout or fever or swollen lymph nodes I had leg pain and headaches and the bacterial vaginosis infection but I didn't know of the infection yet. I just was so scared and convinced I had it. I did at the same time though get diagnosed with an upper respiratory infection i had a back ache and cough and on the verge of bronchitis. I got tested and it was negative and I was negative for the other stds but hiv was not tested for. I did though have a bacterial infection and yeast infection that I battled with for about two months. I later had sex with one guy he performed oral on me but I did not on him. When we had sex we used a condom and that was the only time I had sex with him so I'm not really concerned he would have given me anything although there is always the risk. Then about 5 months ago I met back up with my ex and gave him oral again and he fingered me. I also always swallow with oral. He had slept with other girls since our last time but he was drunk and didn't really remember much he said. A few days after this I began having trouble with the bacterial vaginosis again and still do. But recently I've been really scared maybe all this time he had gave me hiv and I started looking it up and now I'm so scared. I always get dry skin on my hands but recently the palms of my hands have been so dry that they are peeling which I read is a symptom and I don't remember this really happening before. I have insomnia at night I just cannot sleep and when I do most nights I have nightmares that are awful. I get the reoccurring bacterial vaginosis. I read that nails can also change and I feel like my nails look slightly yellow tinted and my one little toe nail itches and hurts which could be candida or something. All of which I read are symptoms. And about four months ago I had a swollen lymph node that hurt under my right arm but it went away in a few days. Then two weeks ago after I got done running on the treadmill I felt another swollen lymph node under my left arm that hurt then it went away the next day. Then a week ago (so a week after the second one) my left underarm started to hurt very bad and swelled up so much it hurt to even put my arm down and the lymph nodes were swollen and my skin even slightly burned and they still are there, the swelling and pain has mainly went away but I can still feel four or five lymph nodes that look red under the skin. I haven't had a fever. But the lymph nodes have me convinced I have hiv and maybe in the beginning (a year ago at this point) when I had an upper respiratory infection it was really the ARS of Hiv. Or maybe the second time I just gave my ex unprotected oral he gave it to me. I'm going crazy. I got off my anxiety medicine months ago but now it's all back and I'm worried I'll have to get back on it but I'm even more worried I have hiv. Since yesterday I have had a dry mouth and tonight I was looking at my tounge and it looks like there is a whitish film on it I'm not sure if that is normal and on the very back of my tounge there is larger bumps that are not painful I touched them and they do not hurt but I've never looked to see if they are usually there but I don't think I've seen them before. Im worried it could be thrush which is another symptom. I also drank beer last night with some friends and my allergies just started acting up yesterday I've had some mucous and itchy eyes. Ive also been so fatigued for so long now. I usually work out every day and lately i dont even have the energy and i just dont feel like doing anything or have the desire. I can't focus on anything. It all just comes back to this. Does any of this sound like I have hiv? Any time and help is appreciated.

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