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I was never scared to get tested. In fact, I've been tested 8 times and it's almost been 100 days since exposure. Every negative that I get, I walk away confused and I imagine how I'm going to die. Every day, I reach a point when I want to vomit and it usually lasts several hours. My back feels so strange and my neck hurts 24/7 and I almost wish somebody would shoot me in my back. Now, I'm having pain behind my left knee. I keep getting short of breath, ear ringing, headaches, and when I walk up a few stairs, I feel a muscle strain from my head to my toes. I was absolutely exposed to HIV and am living a living hell just trying to feel the way I felt before. So, I wish my symptoms went away as I heard the word "negative" but I have a horrible feeling. I don't want to wake up each day and it's not because I am worried that I am getting HIV, but because the exposure ruined me physically. If I didn't get the HIV, I got something that will kill me anyway. Either way, I am suffering. I try to eat healthy and it's not working. I am serious when I say that either I have gotten HIV, or I have gotten another illness because I was exposed to it. For the ones who were able to feel normal again, you are lucky. I have a bigger problem on my hands.
[QUOTE=FarAway;3948912]I was never scared to get tested. In fact, I've been tested 8 times and it's almost been 100 days since exposure. Every negative that I get, I walk away confused and I imagine how I'm going to die. Every day, I reach a point when I want to vomit and it usually lasts several hours. My back feels so strange and my neck hurts 24/7 and I almost wish somebody would shoot me in my back. Now, I'm having pain behind my left knee. I keep getting short of breath, ear ringing, headaches, and when I walk up a few stairs, I feel a muscle strain from my head to my toes. I was absolutely exposed to HIV and am living a living hell just trying to feel the way I felt before. So, I wish my symptoms went away as I heard the word "negative" but I have a horrible feeling. I don't want to wake up each day and it's not because I am worried that I am getting HIV, but because the exposure ruined me physically. If I didn't get the HIV, I got something that will kill me anyway. Either way, I am suffering. I try to eat healthy and it's not working. I am serious when I say that either I have gotten HIV, or I have gotten another illness because I was exposed to it. For the ones who were able to feel normal again, you are lucky. I have a bigger problem on my hands.[/QUOTE]

Hiya

Please go and see your Dr. I think you maybe suffering from severe anxiety and this can cause very real, very distressing physical symptons as you are discribing here.
You have had 8 negative results so I think the chances are you do not have HIV but you need to see a Dr because this is clearly causing you great distress and it can be addressed.
Take care
[QUOTE=FarAway;3948912]I was never scared to get tested. In fact, I've been tested 8 times and it's almost been 100 days since exposure. Every negative that I get, I walk away confused and I imagine how I'm going to die. Every day, I reach a point when I want to vomit and it usually lasts several hours. My back feels so strange and my neck hurts 24/7 and I almost wish somebody would shoot me in my back. Now, I'm having pain behind my left knee. I keep getting short of breath, ear ringing, headaches, and when I walk up a few stairs, I feel a muscle strain from my head to my toes. I was absolutely exposed to HIV and am living a living hell just trying to feel the way I felt before. So, I wish my symptoms went away as I heard the word "negative" but I have a horrible feeling. I don't want to wake up each day and it's not because I am worried that I am getting HIV, but because the exposure ruined me physically. If I didn't get the HIV, I got something that will kill me anyway. Either way, I am suffering. I try to eat healthy and it's not working. I am serious when I say that either I have gotten HIV, or I have gotten another illness because I was exposed to it. For the ones who were able to feel normal again, you are lucky. I have a bigger problem on my hands.[/QUOTE]

i think you have a deeper issue here and your using this hiv as a way of scaring yourself almost. 8 negatives.... your fine !!!

you need to come to grips with that !

sounds like you have OCD like me. fear of this kind of thing


i have thought i have had it for years now, coming up 5 years. and everytime something happens that i dont like i point it toward this. i used to have panic attacks etc, over recent year i have told my self i am fine, but there is still a little doubt in me.

for this reason i think i may just go get tested, put my mind at rest. but then everyone knows its not that simple... :(





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