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So angry
Mar 12, 2004
Hi ladies,
I just really need to vent tonight and people to correspond with who know what I'm going through. Let me just say I am so glad I can come to this board tonight because of what I went through today. Most of you know from previous posts, etc. that I had first IUI last fall, got pg, then miscarried in December. I was ready to start the process again and everything fell apart today. AF came this morning and I was so excited to call my RE to let them know we were going to do IUI this month. They told me I needed to come in on day 4 or 5 to have an ultrasound to make sure everything is okay and to make sure I didn't have any cysts. They said they would give my an rx then for Clomid and temp. chart if everything was fine. (By the way, I hope you all don't mind all these details but I have to let it all out) I told them I could go there Tuesday morning, it's about a 2 hour drive one way to my RE. Now, the crap starts. Let me give you a quick description of my boss so you will understand why she acts the way she does to me. She has chosen not to EVER have children, so she had her significant other get a vasectomy. She is very proud of this decision and loves to brag about it. So anyway, when I gave her my request to be off half a day she told me she would have to check the calendar to see if anyone else has requested this time off as well. She told me it's a first come first serve basis. Lovely, I thought. Well, I got the okay from her but then knew I would have to go back down on cycle day 13 to get an ultrasound to see if my follicles were developed, if they were, then I would get my injection to force ovulation. Then the next day we would go back down for IUI. I told her this, and she said that wouldn't work because it's spring break week and some of the mom's in our workplace have already requested off that week. She said there was no way I could be off even though I told her I would only miss half a day each day. I can't believe this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so angry I am crying right now, because now I feel bad again about myself and my infertility. I am so mad that I am a failure as a woman and can't get pregnant the normal way. Why does it have to be this way? To try and get pg I have to "schedule the time". I wish my dh and I could just conceive the normal way. But no, none of us on this board are that lucky. It's so not fair. It's like all of you have said, we just want to keep trying and moving forward. This is so consuming of our every minute, every day, every emotion inside of us. Sometimes I feel like I won't make it through this. We all have been through so much, and the last thing any of us need is discouragement, and negativity. I do want to say I have looked for other jobs for the last year, because my boss has been this way with me through my infertility. There aren't any jobs in my field out there. And like most of you I have to work so I'm stuck. Thank you all for reading this long post, and any responses are greatly appreciated.





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