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Hello,

I was wondering if any of you folks had any thoughts on couples that are biologically able to bear children but, for whatever reason, decide not to?
Great Thread! What a great way for us childless women to let off some stress!

My two cents: I only know of three couples who want to/wanted to stay childless. All three are fairly materialistic, into themselves, buying things, very specific hobbies. I imagine that they feel if they had a child, they couldn't be the child. They could not go on trips at a moments notice, or spend hours a day on their hobbies. I work with the husband of one couple. He underwent a vasectomy at the time I was making my first IVF attempt. I listened to him discuss in detail his pin-prick (no pun) nudgy-numbing shot, knowing i would be receiving two injections in my stomach that night for a totally different reason. The second couple is enjoying much needed time together...I am glad they have not had kids, because she now has cancer and deserves all of her husband's attention. The third couple, my brother and sister-in-law, never wanted to have kids, or get married. Now my nephew is the love or their life, and they claim they had no idea of what they might have missed. I'm glad they got to find out. Thanks for listening.
After nearly 10 years of Infertility, my DH and I have finally come to a very peaceful place of acceptance.
I feel as though we are truly blessed now in not having children. All my fertile friends with children are completely stressed, penniless and terribly unhappy. They have NO time for themselves or for others.
They are physically and mentally drained.
So, watching them makes me feel SO blessed because I have time for myself, as well as for others(helping other people). We are not rich, by no means, but we are living comfortably with two properties and able to have time for each other. I would say we have a better marriage than our fertile friends.
Having children and being pregnant is not the be all and end all of life!
You don't HAVE to HAVE children. You do have a choice!
The stress of raising children probably shortens your lifespan.
This morning I've opened two of my emails to find one friend, whose new born son isn't sleeping and she's ready to tear her hair out and the other pg with her fifth child, stressed, tired and no time to write a proper email.
So .....I feel completely blessed. I am sitting here at 10am Saturday morning, my house is tidy, I'm up-to-date with all my jobs, have had a nice breakfast, able to sit down and surf the net (with no child screaming at me to be fed or whatever). I feel great!!
The heartache of infertility is behind me now....My babies are in heaven and I know I will see them again one day. God is taking care of them!
I'm watching my poor cousin trying to string together $400 to pay her daughter's school uniform for next year(private school). In the meantime, she has no money for herself!

So, if you are infertile, maybe you could (one day) see it as a true blessing while you watch your other friends, stress out because of their kids!





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