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Cancer: Lung Message Board

Cancer: Lung Board Index

So here goes my story........I lost my mother 9 years ago to a long, bad fight with breast cancer. I watched my mother suffer and slowly die. It scarred me for probably the rest of my life. My dad has been sick for a while now. I told him to go to the doctors to get checked out. (I can't really help him as I am in NH and he is in FL) He called me a month ago and said he went to the doctors and he has double pneumonia- whether or not that was the truth...I do not know. My dad's girlfriend called me Sunday secretly and told me that he has lost about 30 lbs and is very weak where he has to stay in bed a lot. Then she told me he is dying of cancer!!!!!!! She said he went to the doctors and they did an MRI and a CAT scan and it showed cancer wrapped around his aorta, heart and lymph nodes. She said it is inoperable! I was devastated!! She told me to gather myself together and give my dad a call in a little while and see if he would tell me. So I called him about 30 minutes later and he sounded so weak and old. I kept asking him what was wrong, but he kept telling me it was his pneumonia. He could only talk to me for 10 minutes and then said he had to go to bed. To make matters worse, he had an appt lastnight to go into the hospital. They were going to go in through his neck and look at everything closer and find out exactly what stage he is in, ect.. Well I called lastnight to talk to his girlfriend to see what the doctors said and I was stunned. They cancelled his appt because he does not have insurance!!! He is going to go back in 2 weeks when his medicaid kicks in! Can you bleieve that????? The whole point to this whole post is that I am very devastated about my dad. I want to be there for him. The problem is he will not tell me he has cancer. I know he is keeping it from me because he doesn't want me to go through all of this pain. My aunt seems to think he is going to wait to find out what stage he is in before he tells me. What am I supposed to do if he doesn't tell me? Should I just call him and tell him that I KNOW? Also, if cancer is spread like this and inoperable, what is the life expectancy? Thanks for listening to me.....I really need some help right now.

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