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Re: Menopause
Aug 16, 2002
Oh, boy!!! ... my dear greekgirl ... do I have a lot in common with you right now?!!! I can so sympathize with what you're going through because it sounds so much like my life at the moment. First of all, as I said before, we're going through this at the same age. What you said today, about being unable to function around the house ... that's exactly what's happened to me lately. I get better after my period, though. I even had one day last week when I managed to get so very mad about everything and actually forced myself to go outside and mow the grass with a push mower!!! Then I showered and cooked supper before everyone got home ... finally, I had an appetite that evening!!! Those days don't happen very often, though. Most days go like you described; no housework can be faced ... luckily I have children at home who are helping with everything but my office work since I'm the only one who can do that job. My husband and I farm a very large rice farm, we're in the middle of harvesting 600 acres of grain and getting it put up into our new rice drier we bought this year. Poor timing for this to happen to me right now; very hard on my husband because he'd like to stay near me for support. I run the farm office, pay all the bills, schedule things for him, and do all the tax work, too. There's just a lot of paperwork to do when you run a 2,000 acre farm like ours. Having me in this condition, not able to focus or cope with much, is putting big time stress on everyone!!!

I hope you have help from your sons, too. Out of our seven children, we only have three left at home. One is an adult son who works here on the farm (he's 25) another is our 19 year old daughter who does triple duty lately (laundry, cooking, and she frequently runs a rice combine for her daddy) and then there's the 11-yr. old son who is so very worried about me. I had him when I was 40 years old, which was a joyous thing in one way but left him sensitive to the things he has to watch as the family ages. I worry about him.

Sorry to hear that your husband suffers from depression, too. That can't make your anxiety or depressions any easier to bear. What I wondered about was why you're still having so much trouble with all the anxiety if you're taking HRT ... I thought that would help the anxiety, or at least I was wishing it would. I'm only on the anti-anxiety medication Xanax for the time being ... that does seem to calm me down some (especially to get me to sleep), but I do the same as you with the meditation. I do a WHOLE LOT of meditation. Sometimes I think it's the ony thing keeping me sane right now. Requesting strength and understanding from God helps, too.

The doctor who's taken care of my other medical problems for several years now wants to go ahead with tests for peptic ulcers next week. So, Monday I go in for an abdominal ultrasound and an upper GI series. I am having so much nausea, appetite loss, and stomach discomfort lately that I'm continuing to lose weight ... maybe there is something else wrong in that department, we'll see next week. I'm still placing my bets on the hormone changes, though. The doctor wrote me up as possible perimenopausal and says it's a good idea to see an ob/gyn to let her check that out completely ... she even told me that at 45 years old she's already been put on HRT and that it has made a new person of her. She admitted to having all the anxiety, depression, irritability, hot flashes, and even had a peptic ulcer herself last year!!! The HRT has been wondrous for her life. So, with everyone's help, we'll get to the bottom of this stuff ... like you, I hope it gets over really soon because life is hard enough without having to add this kind of torture for us!!!

Keep hanging on. One day at a time is all we can do and that's a fact. Keep writing to us if that helps; it seems to be helping me, too.

Wishing you better days, Dottie

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