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Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Board Index

Re: Do I have OCD?
Nov 2, 2007
I haven't been on here much..I was having a good week..Very little thoughts, and actions..I was starting to think that I didn't have OCD, and was going to cancel my appt at the end of Nov for treatment..But Im back again..Im starting to think that OCD can come and go to some degree..I just posted on someones thread about what today is like for me, hoping to comfort them. But I need to say on my own thread what Im feeling...

Im upset with myself..I keep playing over and over again what I saw on tv last night and beating myself up for not being quicker with the remote or just leaving the room!! My fear cannot let me say, see, hear or type this disease. Last night I was watching tv in bed and a long commerical came on about a woman reaching out to help and educate on this virus...I wasn't quick enough to turn the channel (I lost the remote in my blankets) and before I found it, I was frozen in fear and heard/saw things I wish I didn't...Why didn't I just run out the room?!?!? I woke up early this morning to get my kids and hubby out of the house with a panic attack brewing(trying to hide as well). Now that Im alone, I washed the doorknobs and light switches with lysol wipes trying to kill very virus and germ in this house...I know Im acting out on my fear, but I can't stop...I will end up washing everything before the day is done..I feel so ashamed, scared, and lonely...Last week was great, and now I feel the full force of OCD..Anybody else have good days/weeks then the bottom falls out??
Re: Do I have OCD?
Nov 2, 2007
I completely understand what you are going through. My obsessions are not about germs but about harming my loved ones. I'll be having a good few days, am able to dismiss the thoughts, then one day..wham! They come back with a vengence and I start ruminating again (I have no outward compulsions). I spend my time panicing and trying to resolve the problem, how it started, trying to convince myself that I'm not capable of harming anyone, while the ocd does it's thing by planting doubts in my mind. At these times I feel I need to take these thoughts seriously because this is my family we're talking about. I feel like if I don't ruminate I'm putting their very lives on the line. It's a vicious cycle, and horrible,
I've recently made a what I think is a break-through. I purchased a book by Claire Weekes titled "Help and Hope for your Nerves". It's an amazing book and it has helped me tremendously. This past week has been my best in months and months. I truly feel like I'm on the road to recovery. I also found a website that takes you through every single symptom of anxiety and breaks it down in a very scientific way. There are reasons we feel the way we do, and these physical and mental sensations CANNOT harm us or make us go crazy. So, my new motto what? So my heart is beating out of my what? so my feet are tingling my chest is tight, I can't what? I can't keep a coherent or rational thought in my head at the what? It WILL pass. Let it come. In time, your anxiety will decrease. Believe me ..this works!!

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