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Panic Disorders Message Board

Panic Disorders Board Index

First of all I would like to say that this web site has been the best thing to happen to me since I started having these attacks. I thought for sure I was going to go crazy and end up spending the rest of my life in a mental institution. That has actually been my greatest fear since the beginning, to not be able to function normally in society and end up a vegetable scared of everything for no reason. That and the chance that this life is not the end of our journey and that the sickness would carry on with me. I think reading some of the stories here have been the most relieving treatment thus far. So I would like to share mine before asking my questions.

I am a firm believer in signs and you should probably listen to them because although they may seem coincidental, most times they are not. This was the case with me and psylociben mushrooms. I started around the age of 17 getting stoned, drunk and experimenting with psychedelic drugs. I had tried LSD and smoked lots of weed, but could never get my hands on mushrooms. My friends would always get them when I was away or had to work. For whatever reason I was never around when they had the opportunity to take mushrooms. I should have seen this trend for what it was and realized that maybe I was just not meant to take these. Alas I, being curious and good spirited towards psychedelic drugs, became persistent and anxious to try them. Finally at the age of 19 I got my wish. The first experience was quite pleasant and I enjoyed it thoroughly. With the exception of one particular moment where I felt as if I may never be able to see the world the same again. I shook it off though and finished out the trip pleasantly. This first dose was only half of an 1/8th of mushrooms in chocolate form.

I figured I would try them again and this time up the dosage. I really wish I had done more research about larger doses before going for more. This time we consumed a whole 1/8th each. The trip started out well then as I started to peak I had the intense urge to urinate.(Tripping or being very stoned can sometimes give a false sense of having to urinate.) I made my way into the bathroom and fumbled for the light but couldn't find it. I could see well enough to go so I started to use the bathroom and it sounded like I was missing the toilet completely. I got scared that I would have to tell my friends I just pissed all over his bathroom and was too drugged up to clean it up properly. Not that this was a big deal and eventually would have been taken care of, but for some reason it triggered the bad trip. As it turns out I don't think I even went to the bathroom at all. The next day my friend told me there was no sign of urine anywhere in the bathroom and the towel I claimed to clean it all up with was dry and had no urine on it.

That's when the intense fear came. For the first time in my life I was absolutely terrified. I never felt anything like this in my life. I realized I was about to have a bad trip and it was far worse then anything I ever imagined. I always perceived bad trips to be something with intense hallucinations of demons or hell and the like. Well for the next two or three hours I became completely disassociated from reality. Everything seemed so foreign and alien like. Words coming from the T.V. were jumbled and distorted. I had no sense of being human or what anything around me was. I could hardly focus on one thought before the next 5 came racing through my head. I felt as if my friends were against me and hated me for having a bad trip and ruining everyone else's time. I didn't freak out or start making a scene, I simply curled into a ball and lie down on the floor wishing for it to all end.

After the drug wore off I was fine. I joked about it with my friends as they assured me it was OK and I didn't ruin their time. A few months passed (That was in December 2002) and I hadn't even so much as thought about it let alone consider it happening off the drug. I had tried a smaller dose of mushrooms again in that time span, but nothing terrible happened like the previous time, I just felt strange. I bet you're thinking, "What an idiot! Didn't you learn your lesson the first time?" I would be.

Well then one night in March 2003 I went out with a few friends to get stoned and we smoked some really good weed. I was very high and started to panic in the car. I asked my friend to drop me off at home. I went immediately to my room and tried to clam myself down, but it was hopeless. I tried everything. Playing my favorite games, lying down, listening to music, but nothing worked. Eventually once again the weed wore off and I was alright. Or so I thought.

The next day at College I ate a chicken sandwich from the grill and I'm not sure which triggered which, but as it began to digest I started having an attack. Not only did I start having attacks, but my stomach went completely haywire. Now I was REALLY worried. I wasn't even stoned or tripping and I am panicking for NO reason. Of course I thought the worst.

From this incident I started having them everyday two or three times a day for the next month or so. They would generally occur from the time I woke up until about 10:30 P.M. After that time I felt absolutely fine, like they didn't even exist. For the first few days I didn't even eat because I was scared eating was going to trigger more attacks, not to mention my mouth wouldn't even let me swallow anything. I was a mess. I had never been so depressed and upset in my life. I have always been a pretty upbeat happy guy until that occurred. I thought it was never going to end and I would have to live everyday for the rest of my life like that. I started considering suicide. The only thing stopping me was when I started to feel better at night and realized suicide was ridiculous and not the answer.

Eventually after this month or so of constant attacks they started to lessen, I didn't smoke weed for awhile, and when I did it again it was only a small amount. Hardly enough to be high. I stopped thinking about them and they went away for awhile. I had been smoking weed again, but nothing too crazy. There were a few cases I started to panic but claimed myself down in minutes. That was until last week. Similarly I was at school and I went to lunch with a friend. When I started digesting the food once again I had an attack in class. I had to leave early and go home for I was terribly uncomfortable. They have continued all of the past week up until and including today. Before I started reading this website I was having one. Distraught by this I decided I finally needed to seriously look into my problem. Which has landed me here. I am once again am depressed and lack ambition for much of anything. I worry about sitting in my philosophy class(one of my two majors) because what we talk about may trigger an attack. I haven't eaten all day as my stomach is once again a mess.

So here I am with some questions. After reading through a few other sites where I was getting more upset because some people carrying this into their elderly age with no cure. It seems though many people here have found solutions and ways to fight this. So I am optimistic about my future battle with these attacks. I cannot let them interfere with my schooling as I am almost finished and want to start working towards solving the problem rather than ignoring it or hoping it will just disappear.

First has anyone else here who still regularly has, or regularly used to have, panic attacks, get them from some form of hallucinogenic drug?

Has anyone else had any other bodily related issues due to the attacks? I.E. Stomach problems.

Are my attacks similar to those who just have panic attacks without them being induced by perhaps a flashback or drug?

Have you ever heard anyone thinking about it so much they go crazy?

If I didn't want to take the pharmaceutical drugs route, what other cures or remedies might you recommend to help stave them off?

I read in another post that alcohol can make the effects stronger in the day(s) after being drunk. Should I stay away from alcohol?

Do you think similar scenarios or seasons can trigger attacks even after long periods of not experiencing any?

Will health insurance cover the cost of a psychiatrist/doctor and/or medical prescriptions? If not how much am I looking to pay?

It seems that these panic attacks are naturally more common in females, are the side effects and routes to recovery similar in males and females?

I know I probably have more, but I am already asking a lot of you kind people. Any help would be greatly appreciated. I know there is a lot to read and answer, but I had to get it all off my chest to people who may understand from similar experience. I just want to give my thanks in advance to those who participate in these forums and those who run them. If it weren't for this website I still may be wondering if I'll ever shake this. Also to those out there who are reading this and facing a similar fate, I wish you the best of luck in defeating your demons as well. Stay strong and don't let this be an obstacle to your aspirations. I try not to.

Thanks again. :wave:

My panic disorder originated from weed. I've had General Anxiety disorder for years, and I've been manic depressive since I was about 10. Right now I'm looking into schizophrenia as well, which I'm pretty ashamed to admit...but anyhow..

I had smoked weed everyday for a several months. I've been a drinker for a few years, and I still do drink. But the weed stopped. I had it a few times over the course of a year or so, then had a good 6 month period of zero weed. In November of 2003 I smoked a WHOLE BUNCH. I'm talking 18 hits of some really good hydroponic weed....and I didn't have a panic attack but my heart went kinda crazy and fast.....I shrugged it off and went to sleep and was fine. Oh and I also forgot to mention during that period I was smoking alot of weed I ate some pot brownies that were SUPER SUPER concentrated with THC and I did have what I see now, looking back, was a panic attack. Didn't know it then, and it wasn't really all that bad, but I see it now for what it was.

Then after Nov. of 03 there was a period of a year or so of zero weed again. Strictly alcohol. Then in Nov. of 04 I started my partying ways again somewhat and smoked some weed ya know ocassionally...just half a blunt or so. But then on Jan. 5th of this year I smoked a HUGE hit of really good hydro again. I mean I coughed maybe 30 times. Immediately I knew something was wrong, and I felt "the wave" as they call it around here. Heart started going the fastest I've ever felt it go and I ended up in the ER thinking I was having a heart attack, when it turns out it was a panic attack. At first I thought the stuff was laced with maybe crystal meth or speed or PCP or something stupid like that, but everyone else turned out fine, and I took my own drug test just to make sure and only weed showed up.

Then after that I obviously NEVER EVER care to smoke weed or do any type of drug ever again. I've only done the harder stuff a few times. I did coke once, hooked on adderall for a while...half way oded on that once, did shrooms once...but other than that just weed and alcohol.

But then about a month later I had gotten pretty drunk the night before, and for that month everytime I was near weed or smelled it I would panic, that morning I was drinking this sugary vanilla chai tea drink thing with a lot of energy vitamins and stuff...caffeine too. And I had a panic attack at home. And I had attack after attack after attack for a while....eventually I learned how to control it...and aside from the rare ocassion...lately I've been generally panic free...and really my overall anxiety is much lower because of the techniques in breathing and thought process I do now.

I still love to drink. In face I drink alot sometimes, not all the time anymore. I've gotten pretty drunk since then....obviously I started slowly to make sure I was ok...but now I'm back to normal with how I was before hand and for me the alcohol doesn't trigger panic. For me it can actually help it. But for some people alcohol can do the opposite and actually cause panic attacks. It just really depends on (I think) what you associate your panic with in your mind. I believe if you have no anxiety surrounding alcohol then it shouldn't be a problem, but if you've had anxious experiences with it then it can. I'm not doctor so I could be wrong on that.

But I do know that hallucinogens will cause attacks like that. Those can actually be much worse because you can not control what your mind draws up with its imagination. What you imagine becomes reality on acid/shrooms and when you're panicking your mind when you are sober can make you believe you are dieing...having a heart attack or just imagine what acid or shrooms would do to you if you panicked and your mind created that....that would be pure hell.

As for eating. Stay away from sweets and anything I mean ANYTHING with Caffeine or Nutrasweet. The Aspartame in those diet drinks and sugar free candies that's in that Nutrasweet can make panic much worse. Look up Aspartame on the net.

When you panic breathe deeply through your nose. Hold it a couple seconds, then let it out slowly. Actually it's advisable to breathe through your nose more often than not. You get more oxygen that way, and you breathe deeper slower breaths. If you do it alot you'll feel better during the day.

Another thing do not fight the panic symptoms. The more you fight it, the worse it gets. Don't fear them. They can not hurt you. They will not hurt you. Tell yourself it's ok to feel that way in the moment, and that it will pass...because it will.

I don't know if you should stay away from alcohol or not, personally, because that differs between each person. Personally I'm fine with it, but you may not be.

But you NEED to quit weed all together. I'm telling you. That stuff will cause panic attacks, it caused mine. I'm telling you you need to stop smoking weed completely. And moreover no hard stuff. No acid, no x no shrooms. You won't get any better if you continue to do any of that stuff.

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