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Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Message Board


Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Board Index


ICC,

If you figure this one out, PLEASE let me know.......When I get angry....I shake, inside and out. But if you push me even farther, and I start to cry... I lose it. I will admit I can become physical at this point. Point in question.....

My mother had a brain bleed, the hospital she was taken to, was NOT equipped to handle it. I called a friend who is a ICU, CCU nurse, she recommended a Dr in my area, I had my mother shipped by Ambulance to my city. Family got together in hospital. (Not a good reunion) My oldest sister (one I love) had just gone through VERY rough time, and was on TONS of meds. We were ALL talking and I just cautioned her to be careful with so many drugs, and interactions. My brother(one of the two that sexually abused me) flipped out on me, and started telling me to mind my own business. He got into my SPACE and MY FACE literally and was yelling at me. I WARNED him 3 times to get out of my FACE...... He declined.....Needless to say, I lost it.....BAD!!!!!!! I beat the crap out of him......I punched him in the face and head so many times, and so quickly that he didn't have a chance. It took my Nephew who was 6ft and about 220lbs to pull me off of him. I weighed in at a whomping 130lbs He then had to get me in a full Nelson head lock, BUT......I got out of it, and went for my brother again...He had just gone through Knee surgery...YUP!!!! I kicked him in the knee.....

The next thing I know, my step dad called me the next day to tell me that my brother was taking a restraining order out on me, and pressing charges against me for beating the crap out of him.....This is when I finally let things go with my family. My step dad NEVER knew about the crap that I went through as a kid...He married my mother when I was 16. So I told him to tell my brother that he could do what he wanted, BUT I would be pressing charges against HIM for RAPE, and MOLESTATION, and INCEST!!!!!

That was the turning point in the entire family, when everything kind of fell apart. It took years for the effect to finally unfold, but in the end it wound up in a world of S***...... Till this point my sisters BELIEVED my mother that NOTHING had ever happened, and that I was just NUTS.... I had been ostracized by my entire family up until this point in my life......I think I was either 39 or 40 at the time.....

So I do not handle this kind of stuff either.......When I get to the point of this anger.... I Lose it......

Sorry, but I am being truthful. So now you know I can be a tough one too...

Sid





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