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Relationship Health Message Board


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We are still in a holding pattern I guess you could say, He's been real sweet and loving and is finally doing some of the things that I said were upsetting me. He's been taking out the garbage, complimented me on the house looking nice, he fixed my breaks and tonight were going shopping for tires, all these things may seem minor but they were neglected which in turn made me feel neglected. Everytime I got in my car it reminded me of the things that he was suppose to be helping me with, I live in the Chicago area and the roads get pretty bad here and I kept saying I need new tires and he always thought that I was exaggerating how bad they were but after working on my breaks I think he realized that I was right they are bad. With that said we have to renew our lease within the next couple of days so a decision must me made either way. I finally broke down again and asked him on New Years Eve what were doing and he said its not up to me there are two of us involved and with all the emotion were going through I dont want to make decision until we both know that its the right one and I said yes but there is no way to know whats right at this point we just have to try staying together or breaking up we wont know for a while whats right. He said that things between us lately have been great and he'd like to give it a few more days to figure out what the right thing to do is. I see the little things he's doing that he wasn't before as his way of trying, I know that relationships should just work and that you shouldn't have to try too hard, these things like garbage and car maintenance don't come naturally to him he's very used to having someone else do it. As far as us not having anything in common I don't see how that can be true, the only thing different that we do is that he goes over to his friends house and hangs out and I stay home with the dog. Usually we have friends over instead. We both want the same things in life I just don't find mudding in the truck fun like he does, We have the same beliefs, the same morals, the same sense of humor. I think a lot of the differences we have come down to boy girl stuff,he's very much a man's man and likes that kind of stuff. He's been staying home with me all the time lately and when he does go out to play poker or watch football I miss him so much, he calls me all the time to check on me and see how I'm doing. He told me that nothing is final and that we still need to do some more talking the signals are so mixed I'm real confused about whats going on, I told him that I feel that I should prepare myself mentally for anything and that this in between isn't going to work for me much longer. Should we cut out all the mushy loving stuff? How can you if thats how your feeling? Part of me wishes I could become distant but I feel like if I don't show how I feel now than it may become too late. (Sigh) I love him soo much I don't want to let go. He isn't blaming me for anything he actually is blaming himself, I told him that we are both to blame not one person, I have a hard time showing how I feel (I can think it very clearly) I didn't come from a hugging kissing family and I guess it rubbed off. I cant imagine being with anyone else, in fact there is a guy at work that just wont leave me alone and he's very cute but I have no interest the only one I have eyes for is my BF. My BF never wanted anything to do with having a GF until I came along, I was the first he ever wanted to be with and I hope that I still am. His mom still thinks what he needs is reassurance from me that this is what I want and escpecially after the proposal he needs to know that this is what I want for the rest of my life. I did tell him that I didnt want him to make his decision based on my feelings and fear that he would be hurting me and that it should be what he wants too I'm willing to stay and work on things. I also told him that if we do break up that I will survive and be ok eventually. I dont want him to stay with me out of pity. Oh and I asked what we were going to do about the lease and he said that he didn't care about that right now and that were more important than a lease and we'd figure it out.





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