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Well thats it. I've put up with his bull**** for the last time. I am so mad at myself right now that I can scream. As you have read I felt bad for leaving that idiot and called to say we could be friend and we ended up getting back together. Well, last night he told me he was going to be out doing one thing (riding) and did something else (go to bar with people he doesn't know). When I called once I got off from work I couldn't get a hold of him. I got worried thinking that he got hit by a car while on the ride. Couldn't get a hold of him so I left my house at 9:30pm to go to his to see if he was ok. He wasn't home. Kept calling finally got a hold of him and he told me he was out drinking and left his cell in the car (WHY?), he also gave me the bull**** lie that he called before he went to tell me that he changed his plans but didn't leave a message (funny I didn't even get a missed call). Fine, I say ok lets just not let it happen again bc I get worried.

Today, he was going to go riding and I tell him that I'll just wait for him at his house and cook dinner while he goes riding. The a****** tells me he doesn't feel comfertable with me in his house alone (been together 2 1/2 years) he says he doesn't trust me. Tells me to just go shopping while he is riding and he will call me when he gets home. I get pissed and ask him how long is it going to take for the damn relationship to move on. He gets defensive hangs up the phone (as usual). So I left work 3 hours early drove to his house to confront him. He is acting like an a****** and tells me he is not "IN" love with me anymore and that I am not enough for him... excuse me?! then very coldly told me to get out of his house. Needless to say I was so shocked that he actually said that to me that I chocked and started crying in front of him like an idiot. He even asked me whats there to love? So I left. Drove home crying the whole damn way. An hour later he calls me. I stupidly picked up and he said "I didn't mean to say the things I said the way they came out. I do love you but I am only in love with 20% of you the part that is always nice and caring".

He seems to think that just because I ask him what the hell is going on with the relationship that I am being a b****. He then tells me that my reaction when he said that should of been of telling myself that I am going to make him fall in love with me again by being extra nice and showing him respect and basically keeping my mouth shut and not saying whats on my mind or asking where the damn relationship is going bc he doesn't want to talk about it. When I told him I wasn't going to do any of that in an attempt to make him love me again he got pissed and said that I didn't love him because if I did I would do whatever it takes to make him fall in love with me. See he says that he loves me but is not IN love with me. Like I am going to sit there and say yeyyyyy, he may not be in love with me but atleast he still loves me!!!!. Then he told me that the only way we could be together was if I changed, never mind that the entire time we have been together the man hasn't done a damn thing for me (I have more luck having a stranger help me fix a flat tire then getting him to do it)

UMHUM... What the hell?! Is it me or is he the biggest idiot on the planet? You tell me you are not in love with me but you want me to make you fall in love with me again by being your damn puppy? After 2 1/2 years you don't trust me and don't want me to ask where the relationship is leading? You tell me that you don't want me in your house if youre not there and you have a problem with me spending the night bc you like to sleep alone?

How the hell could I have been so blind?! I wish everyone here knew how stupid and pathetic I feel. I don't want to ever talk to this man again. I honestly feel like if he crosses my path any time soon I will beat him senseless. That's how pissed I am.

So I guess my question is... Am I over reacting here????





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