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Relationship Health Message Board

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Forgive me if I am wrong, but it really doesn't sound like you have real genuine feelings for your current boyfriend. Yes, I believe you care for him, but you said yourself that you pretty much jumped into the relationship because you were affraid of being alone. On top of that you've only been together for 10 months and it hasn't exactly been easy. Add to that your regrets from breaking up with your ex and the need to rekindle any sort of relationship with him. Your current boyfriend is your rebound man. The relationship is doomed to fail, IMO. You entered into it for all the wrong reasons (and trust me, we've all done it). The best thing for you to do would be to end it with him as nicely as possible. It's not fair to stay with him to spare his feelings while you are still harboring feelings for your ex.

As far as your ex goes, you obviously have a lot of unfinished business. Who knows, one day you may be able to rekindle what you once had. The only way you will know for sure is to be single and work on your friendship with him. Be true to your feelings and your needs. If you listen to your heart I'm sure it is telling you that your current boyfriend is not the one. I think that comes across very clearly in your post. The prospect of being single can be scary, especially when you have been in a relationship for the past 5 years. But doing this will help you get to know you and your needs better. That way if you do end up getting back together with your ex it will be for the "right" reasons instead of out of some need to be with someone.

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