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A breakdown of my family status: Mom and Dad divorced 6 years ago, when I was in my mid 20s. Mom remains single and happy, Dad remarried to a smart, independent passionate lady.

I married 2 years ago and am very happy. My younger sister, who is 27 now, is at the center of my family's storm...

Years ago, while working at a job I loved with the BBB, I met a guy who was a bit young for me to date, but who was very intelligent and an all around "good guy." He worked out every day after he got off work, was promoted to a manager position at work, he was enrolled in classes at night at the community college, etc. So, after working with him for 6 months and being impressed by his friendly, engaging character and drive, I figured "Hmmm.. he may be perfect for my sister!"

I introduced them shortly after and they hit it off big time. She moved in with him and all was well for about 2 years. They were sweet together and I spent many evenings enjoying their company for dinner. Then, he changed. Massive overhaul. I continued to work in close proximity with him every day, so I saw the changes arise. He was no longer the held-together guy he was when I met him, he had started drinking almost nightly with a rowdy group of single guys, he left my sister home alone most nights of the week, he began flirting with every female employee/office visitor we had at work, and he would talk with my other male coworkers about their shenanigans outside of work with other women, etc. They often used code names while talking, like saying he was going to hang out with "Bill" when it was a woman, etc. It was all very fishy at the time.

I witnessed all of this and knew that he was no longer the sweet guy I introduced my sister to years prior, but she did not want to hear about any of the changes I'd witnessed, and chose to go on with their relationship blindly, giving him the benefit of the doubt for another 1.5 years of his increasingly disrespectful downfall in life.

Fast forward to my WEDDING DAY - he broke up with her (out of the blue in her eyes) that morning! My sister didn't mention anything to anyone in my family, so we had no clue. She acted mopey the whole day, but she wouldn't admit anything was amiss, she just slept until we were in the ceremony. That Christmas (a couple months later), which she LOVES, she was mopey. Sleeping the whole day. Only smiling when we turned on a Disney movie.

Of course, at this point, we knew something was not right, but what? She wouldn't talk to any of us so we tried to cheer her up. Meanwhile, she was still living in the rented house with her then ex, pretending they were still dating for his family's sake. When their lease was up 4 months after the rude break up, she moved out.

That following year, she blossomed. She began exercising, lost a bunch of weight, started dressing like a woman instead of hiding herself, did her hair - you could literally see the transformation. She dated a couple douche bags, but we were all happy she was, at least, no longer being controlled by the ex.

Fast forward to January of this year - she dropped off the face of the Earth. No one in my family heard from her, she wouldn't answer texts or calls. It was entirely bizarre. Then in May, she had a heart to heart with me, opening with "You're going to be mad..." I then guessed she was seeing a douche bag ex, but was horrified when she told me which one. Not only was she dating the jack *** who dumped her on my wedding day, he had since gotten an extreme DUI 3 months before they started dating again, he was using cocaine and drinking, was serving weekends in prison, was jobless, and needed a roommate. It broke my heart when she was finally honest, after avoiding me and hiding this 'relationship' for 5 months.

Now, she has been living with him since January, and though I'm one who buries the hatchet fairly easily because I hate drama, I just can't forgive this guy. I don't forgive her for hiding the truth for so long, either. Not only do I hate this guy (he was VERY rude to me my last few months on the job, which is a whole other can of worms), but my entire family hates him, too. We all know the truth now and while my husband and I can suck it up and invite him back into the lifestyle (He still avoids our family for the most part, unless my sister forces him to be present, and then he's rude and distant), my Father and his wife are not so willing.

That's where my question lies - My father and his wife are visiting for Christmas this year, and his wife has made it clear that she will not be in the same building as my sister's boyfriend after the awful ways he's disrespected our family, especially my poor sister. The problem is that my sister is completely OBLIVIOUS to everyone's disdain towards this guy and she will be extremely offended if I tell her "Hey, you can come for Christmas, but he can't."

My sister continues to turn a blind eye towards the guys cheating, drug and alcohol infested, extreme DUI engulfed past, but no one else can.

I know that all I can do is support her and hope he never begins to get physically abusive, but in the meantime - How do you think we should proceed?

My tiny family birthday party is this Friday and I said he is welcome to come, but the last time he had to endure my birthday, 3 years ago, he said some rude things and made me cry, essentially ending the party because my husband kicked him out. I told my sister he is welcome but he is NOT OBLIGATED to be there because we don't care either way. I don't want him making me feel *****y again, honestly.

For Christmas - Should I tell my sister he is not welcome?





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