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Sexual Health - General Message Board


Sexual Health - General Board Index


What frustrating morning! Am I the only woman out here that hates being female when it comes to sex??? I dont think it is fair that men can just get off so easy, and women need help, as in direct stimulation. I know there isnt a damned thing anyone can do about it, I just have to get it off my chest!

I am married to a man that is a great husband and father. An ideal man in everyway, EXCEPT for the bedroom. Im sick and tired of begging for him to do things to please me too. We only had sex 2 times prior to marriage, so I really was clueless. I have bought the books for him (even Dr Ruths Sex for Dummies), got some toys, talked til im blue in the face, explained to him that I need more than just a few pumps in and out. May help for that one session, then the next time it is like his brain just didnt comprehend, and he is a smart guy! Am I the only frustrated wife here? Sure I can get release myself, alone or with him, but thats not what I want as the mainstay of my sexual relationship.

I sent him to this site, but he isnt much of a net user and wasnt too interested, so nevermind the 'women 101' etc for him. By the way, I ususally come here under another name, and go to another topic affecting the health of my mother, changed my id for this, so Im not a newbie, but have never written in sexual health before.

I am just going crazy. Sometimes I feel like he only touches me because he knows he has to in order to 'gain entrance' to my exclusive club. I have tried everything! He doesnt like to go down on me, will only do it when I beg and beg then will only lick very lightly at me for just a few seconds before his "back starts hurting". No other oral exploration, nothing. Really makes me feel like he doesnt much care for that part of my body (I bathe daily, so thats not the problem either). I know he isnt gay, so that is not an issue. He sure loves getting sucked off though, I have even stopped that for a while to see if that would make him think about how unfair this all is and it didnt make a difference over the long run.

When we do have sex, I have told him over and over that I need more stimulation. I dont know why he doesnt LISTEN. Maybe just doesnt care, I dont know. When he does stimulate me manually during sex he immediately afterwards rushes to the bathroom, with his hand held away from his body, to wash it off. Am I crazy here? Thinking that this is a bit TOO much?

I dont think my genitalia is any different from any other female, same basic structure and reactions. I just hate being left feeling like it is undesirable to the man that I married, except to just insert penis, climax, and climb off. I dont think it is a religious or upbringing hangup. Perhaps he just doesnt like female anatomy, though he does like my breasts, except when I am nursing. Maybe it is the wetness, mushiness, that he doesnt like to touch?!

We have been married for 15 years and I have never turned him down, only during those few days we all have to deal with during the month.
Guess I am just missing the sexual exploration, the feeling of desire and affection I expected from my marriage and my life mate. I love him, and I know he loves me as much as he would love anyone. Before I married I had several relationships with men, and none of them were like this, so I guess I just dont understand. One bf loved how wet I would get. Another gave the best oral sex ever...why did I break up with him, lol. And guys, he was less than endowed in penis size, but after his oral foreplay, he felt like he was was 10" when in reality he was only around 4" in length.

Anyway, sorry to go on so long but sometimes the frustration makes it all a big deal. Im wondering how many women feel that their husbands are squeamish when it comes to pleasuring them, and how many of you guys (that are straight) are less than thrilled with female anatomy?

I will appreciate any answers, and ANY advise that will help me accept this or that might help me to change things for the better. As I said, I love him, he is wonderful in everyway with the one exception when it comes to sex and affection. Hes a great father and provider that gives me the opportunity to stay home and raise our 4 children. Leaving isnt an option, neither is an affair. Looking forward to others input.

[This message has been edited by chinadoll (edited 04-01-2001).]






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