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oh man, what did we do to have this curse? i am a very social person, i love my friends and being out having fun, but this always rains on my parade. i had a bad breakout on the weekend of the biggest party me and my friends have thrown this year, this girl i knew in grade school was commin to see me from another town far away, i really liked this girl, and i thought she liked me, but around 7 o clock the ni9ght of the party i looked in the mirror at my friends house, and almost wanted to cry, because there was no way i could let her see me like this, i feel un attractive when i have acne. but it was a very sad moment for me, whe3n i made the decision to leave, and this is NOT the first time, by no means, i have went home instead of have fun, but this night was the night i had been waitin for, for a long time. this was not just some night, it was the night i thought i would hook up with my old crush from waaay back. well...i had to go home. i felt so bad knowing exactly how much fun was being had, and i let this sorry fuc*ing ***** keep me from i guess u could say the girl of my dreams, i tell my its no big deal until i goto sleep finally. i wake up the next day feeling like a dumbass...i was still kinda depressed about not being there to be with this chic i thought liked me, and i guess she did, untill i dissed her, because she thinks i avoided her because of something stupid, so that night of the party she hooks up with my best friend, i was hurt. i love my best friend to death, he's my bro to tha bone, i was mad at him, but i cant blame him, she is hot and came onto him, so i guess she wasent worth the trouble after all, but maybe, just maybe if i didnt have this curse, and i had been at "the party" i woulda hooked up with her, me and her were talkin and pretyy good friends, but after she fuc*ed my home boy, i couldnt ever look her in the eyes again. im a 24 year old man, i dont really feel like a man tho because of this, im not saying i feel like a woman, im sayin i dont feel like a john wayne kinda man, like a man, man. so since i cannot find the remedy for this curse, i resort to mad drug abuse, not speed or crack or anything like that, mainly pot and ecstasy. pot helps me deal, but ecstasy actually helps me like me for who i am. at least when im rollin. i know its a bad scene, but what can you do? my self esteem gets slammed every time i look in a mirror, and i did nothing to deserve this. so fuc* the law and anyone else who thinks "druggies" are bad people, im not bad, im a honest hard working, caring person, who does not get to do the things that everyone else does when they want, i can only do them when my face decides not to ***** on me. they dont know what thats like. no one except people with acne knows this humiliation. yeah there are people with way worse problems then mine, but i dont have to deal with theirs, they dont deal with mine, this is my life, my only life, and the only things that have brought me what little happiness ive had, is my friends, and ecstasy. I thank God for them. "x" is here for a reason, everything happens for a reason, if i hadent of had "x", i would be so sad. it got me thru some tough times. i guess ecstasy is my acne medication, it dont clear it up, it can make it worse, but....there is no cure for acne, and the only time i was cool with it, and loved me for the person i am, is when i roll. when im sober all i do is think of how ugly i must look, or why me why me yada yada. i do not recommend the use of ecstasy, but i do thank God for it. my friends and x, and of course my pot. if i didnt have those three things, i woulda ate a bullet by now. oh well, sorry so long, im high right now, and needed to vent, im still dissapointed in myself for not doing the things i want to do, because of the curse. if anyone has any suggestions besides quiting drugs, plz help a bro out. thanks.





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