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[SIZE=1]undefined[/SIZE][COLOR=DarkOliveGreen]undefined[/COLOR][FONT=Arial Black]undefined[/FONT] high im new to this site and what got my attention was this thread.....ive had acen since the age of 11 it started im 18 now going on 19 my acne isnt that bad as b4 but now i got scars from the pass breakouts and poppin them...when i didnt have acne i was such a happy person always laughin and no worries..never concerned bout my face till it started gettin bad and i was going in to high school...i always carry a mirror with me newhere i go i am constantly checkin my face no matter if im at home newhere im at i have to look at my self here and there cuz im just wonderin how i look under a different light and just how bad i look.....i use to go out every weekend almost everyday now im constantly at home i have no motivation to do nething newhere and everywhere im at my mind is always thinkin bout how i look ..and when ppl talk to me i try not to look at them so they wont see my imperfections ive been like this for bout 3 or 4 years and its so hard livin everyday like this is so horrible im cryin right now as im typin cuz i thinki will never see myself pretty ever againits like i lost hope..i cant enjoy myself when i go out so its like why go out im just gonna be down and dull and just thinkin bout how i havent been a happy person in a long time and im always havin a ********** up attitude cuz im just pissed and ashamed of how i just gets worse every year i hyave the lowest self esteem .....if i never wouldve had acne i know i would be a completely different person i would be more social and not afraid to meet ppl its so sad livin like this and it makes me feel a lil better that im not alone and i thought i was the only one with that habit of lookin at myself ...but another habit i have is pickin at my face..i just got so tired of acne i just popped them but then i regret it later.......ive tried every acne cream also i really dont know what worked cuz it has been awhile i broke out nasty but i got these scars and its even worse when makeup is applied i hate thissssi even stopped talkin to this guy because i felt too ugly for him and i just couldnt keep avoidin him from lookin at my face cuz it would just hurt me thinkin bout it.. i like everything else bout me its jsut my skin and its just not my face its my back my chest shoulders lil lil bumps i jus thate it and get tempted to pop so sad i know sayin all this isnt going to change nething but i wanted to let that out...this is not a good life im livin :( :(
Gee lot of you guys and gals sound like me.I hardly had acne at all in my teens,but boy when i hit my 20s that was the end of my happy life as i knew it.For yrs i thought i would outgrow it.Id get those big suckers under the skin the ones called cysts.Thank God i got married before my face really got screwed up.It was a horrible time for me,i would hide even away from my family.I hated the fact that neither my brother or sister ever had acne.To this day they still dont.I got so fedup that when i was 23 i went to the derm and got put on accutane.It worked great for a few yrs,i thought id beat it.But surprise surprise it came back in my early 30s.Im no longer a candidate for accutane because it raised my cholesterol sky high.Im 48 i look at myself in the mirror and say when will this nightmare be over,maybe when i start to get wrinkles.I wont show my face outside when its broken out.Im and out doorsy kind of person.We just had the pool in our community opened up last summer and i hardly went.My 6 yr old son doesnt understand why mommy doesnt want to go outside or to the pool with him.Am i going to ruin his life?This acne problem makes me feel so inferior to other ppl.Im envious of ppl with clear skin,it just pisses me off to see ppl stare or whisper cause i think there looking at me.Im 48 will i ever have clear skin before i die,or have a chance to enjoy it before i get wrinkles.Im tired of smearing goop on my face and wearing makeup that melts in the summer.I like to workout but not anymore since it breaks me out even more.Sometimes i wish i could just take a razor and cut the cysts out.So i'll probably spend another summer hiding in the house ruining everyone elses fun.I guess the only thing that keeps me from total despair about my acne is that i have a few other problems (medical ones )that are worse than the acne.Well thats enough of my story.Maybe the young ppl on this board will be lucky enough to see a cure for this in there lifetime,but probably not for me. Good luck everyone for finding your cure to this despised disease.

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