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Hey everyone. Iv been reading threads on this site for months now, but me, being the usuall obliviouse self, never figured out how to get a memebership. But I did, and now i'm here. And you have no idea how happy I am to be writing this. BEfore I found this site I really thought no one else felt like I did. So pull up a chair and sit on the floor, cause heres my story..

So I'm 17, and I have had acne since I was about 10. It first start on my forhead, and then I had tons of blackheads all over my nose, and this is was all when I was very young. It was, and is, all i ever think about. All doing middle school and high school I never belonged. And I'm not talkin just about being popular, you dont have to b e popular to have "that group". Just a group of friends you hang out with. I never had that because my acne made me so self conciouse I never could be myself. Now, I dont get as many pimpmes, but MY ENTIRE FACE is scarred. my cheeks are red dots, and the varation of skin color from my face to my neck is unreal. My pores are huge, and I can usually cover this with makeup, but within an hour I get very oily and the makeup starts greasin up and I look really washed out. I hate having oily skin as well cause I cant do everday things that other people take for granted like hugging someone cause I leave imprint marks. And I have acne on my shoulders and all down my back. I hate not being able to wear tank tops and bathing suits, I'm SO self consioiuse. I dont touch or pick at my pimples, but every pimple gets a red mark that doens't go away. Iv had the ones on my face for about 5 years now.Every iche on my faace becomes a pimple. And my pores are absouslty astromicle. In some lighteing I look awesome, but II always look atmyself out doors to see how I really look. I look ok with makeup on but I wish more than anything that I didnt have to wear any makeup. Its all I ever think about. I hate knowing that my life is ruined. I want to do the everyday high school thigs like activites or sports but after school my face is so greasy I just feel dirty. I dont want to do these things.I used to smoke pot every day for a while, and after a while I would sit for hours having the worst panic attacks, due to my feeling on my surronds, and my life, and just feeling worthless. Alsmost like a really bad trip. Needless to say I dont do that anymore..Around my close friends I have alot of fun, but I feel so uncoumbatle around everyone else because of it I"m just not myself. It sucks because I have very long beautiful hair, and a a great body and would be so pretty if it wasnt for the acne *I did not mean to sound concieted if anyone took that as concieted*. Its like, most girls havve the whole package, not just half of it. And I just wanted to be beautifl. I know people say beauty isnt everything, but in our society it is, and alot. I just wish I didnt have all these scars. So, I just wanted people to know how i felt, and I love this site because you all just seem like the best people ever. No one understands how you feel untill you have the same problem, and I wish I could meet everyone on here.

So just a few question...Is after highschool different than highschool? i'm a pretty good student, and I hate to think that in college I still wont have a "group" and wont go out and party. I just want to do that normal thing...

And also, do you think avon anew 2 step facial would work for me? I'll be ckecin my messege like every 5 minutes to see a reaspone. Thank you everyone! And God Bless

O, and I'm sorry about my spelling. I know its atrocouse. :)

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