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Hi everyone,

Well, I am not sure about the a. acid working for me. It brought a lot out in the last month, but my skin is completely dehydrated, pitted (from that, not just acne ) and scaly. It is red and now irritated and I can't be sure but it is even breking out with the tiny oil ones in the dryest areas. I really liked the idea of this stuff too. I am very depressed. It seems the only thing that works for me is accutane. Its been 5 years of trying everything.....avita, tazorac, differin, klaron, triaz, bp, benzamycin, cleocin T, minocycline, erythromycin, spiro, yasmin.....and now azelex/finacea. I just don't know what the derm will say tomorrow but I feel like I'm at the end of the line. I feel like if he suggests another course of full accutane, even though I hate the idea, I may say yes. I need a break from this.
I didn't even apply the azelex since Saturday night and my skin still feels completely rough and scaly. The tiny oil filled ones are more of an irritation than acne in my opinion, although the derm tells me I'm crazy. I have always suspected this to be something else..lupus related. But they still have to "treat" as acne....and there will be virtually no conclusive way to tell if this is in fact caused by the lupus. I am so unhappy today and have cried all morning. But I am ready to not think about this anymore. I won't suggest it but I'm thinking he will. I've been to 4 derms in these 5 years and its always the same....
I don't know if applying a Hydrating moisturizer would help and then only applying the azelex at night or something, but it is WAY to drying on my skin to apply 2 times per day and even once with the condition of my skin is not going to work I don't think.
I also thought about applying for a couple of hours and then washing off..but I don't know if it would even work then. And if it won't work there's no reason to keep using it. I had such high hopes. The advice I've gotten has all been good, but most people have oily or normal skin. Mine is very dry. I have tried to stop the accutane completely, but the deep painful cysts come back within 5 or 7 days. What is wrong with me? This should be such a simple thing, and I don't understand why it can't be helped ?! I don't know what else to try. If he says to stick with this I will have NO choice but to moisturize with something that will also hydrate the skin. I wouldn't even know what type to try that won't break me out. I thought the jojoba oil was great, but it really doesn't hydrate the skin, and even this scaliness I don't think it could help. My skin was in better shape on the full accutane course. But why did I never clear completely? Why did I break out 5 days after the course ended.?? I tried everything at that time and wound up back on the tane 5 months later. Wasn't perfect but had so many more happy days than I've had in the past 9 months.
If this is from lupus, that would explain why it won't go away completely, but I have enough stuff wrong with me that will never go away that this is unacceptable.
My reunion is 5 weeks away, and I KNOW its vain, and you'll all tell me that its what is inside that counts , but I still want it gone. It just doesnt' seem like that much to ask.
As far as the azeleic acid goes, I thought it would help me and wish it would, but its just me again. Nothing ever helps. And I am soooooooo sick of feeling guilty for being on the accutane a few days per week. The more I've cut back the worse things have gotten. Maybe its not the best thing to be on, but I literally hate myself this way. What other choice do I have??
The only antibiotic I can try is amoxicillan and the pharmacist said the only ones that interact with the accutane are the tetracycline this something I should try.....even every other day or do I resort to the old accutane again? I am not going through the rest of the summer this way. I'm unhapy and it shows. I am not myself and no matter how hard I try, I hate this. Help...


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