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After about 4 years of suffering and dozens of products/medications things are starting to go right!

I've just went through the worst, hardest year of my life. If anyone cares to read, here's my story.

Well, it all started in grade 6. Things were perfect, and I was one stupid, insensitive kid. I'm not religious but I think God punished me for what I did. There was this girl, she was nice, and she had acne, and I made fun of her quite a bit. I don't know why, just to be funny and fit in I guess. Then all of the sudden things started going horribly wrong. I used to be a real funny guy, would make faces and such, could make anyone laugh, but then I started to become unfunny, what was funny had actually all turned into sex jokes, and jokes about smoking and drugs. I had become a loser, the friends I once had started getting into drugs and smoking, and I finished elementery with very few friends.

Then came Junior High, yippe! I had gained weight over the summer due to lack of activity and I was being made fun of already. I lost my best friends, phillipinos, because it seems that there were different racial groups, and it seems white people couldn't hang around with phillipinos. They had changed so much... doing drugs, skipping every class, it was very sad.

So, basically, I was fat, I had no friends, and I was being made fun of so much.. kids can be cruel. I slowly started to lose my confidence, I used to be so outgoing, boy did that change, I couldnt sum up the nerves to talk to anyone anymore.

This had gone on for 2 years. But I finally gained some strength, from who knows where, and I decided to go on a diet over the summer and exercise every day. It was a struggle, but I lost 30 pounds, and once school started everyone was like "WOW! Howd you lose so much weight?!" Wooooeee what a feeling! I was finally starting to feel good, I could talk to people I didn't know and I actually made some new friends. What a great year, and I thought it would be the same the next year, but boy was I wrong!

I had always had mild acne, a few pimples here and there, nothing major. But of course, since I was so uptight on my appearence I bought every single acne product you can think of! I even fell for a $200 TV scam called MURAD! One night I even made a mixture of Clearasil, toothpaste, Oxy pad juice, oatmeal, salt, and baby shampoo, and applied it to my face overnight! All of these products did do something though, make it worse, MUCH worse.

Right when I had lost the weight, my acne started to get bad, really bad. A new pimple every day. My confidence had been shot again! Even though people weren't making fun of me whatsover I was still so hung up on my appearence. I missed so much school... almost 2 times a week! Yet I still passed, I've always been good in school. I had stopped doing things with my friends, and don't get me started on talking to girls!

That's the introduction, now I'd like to bring you up to date on recent events.

This year was the worst, most terrible year of my life. I can't say anything good has come of it. My acne had gone full-blown and after giving up on so many products and antibiotics we finally asked the dermatologist to put me on Accutane. I was scared, because it was right at the beginning of the school year and the side affects didn't sound too pleasent.

So it began. First, my lips became so unbearably chapped. I found myself biting the skin off of habit, and making them worse. Then.. the dryness, and man, puting the lotion on isn't very fun. Especially when you have pimples that are ready to explode and you have to try and maneuver all around them.

At this time, I had some scarring on my cheeks, and forehead, nothing too bad. But then, came the MAJOR outbreaks. Man were these bad, I got the HUGE pimples too, as big as a quarter in length. And I was a VERY bad picker.. I'd pick at them any chance I could get. And when you're washing your face they sometimes explode on their own, which isnt very pleasent.

It was a VERY VERY difficult 6 months, I had been doing very badly in school, attendence wise, not work wise. I barely passed the first semester and was doing horrible in the second, right when my acne was at it's worst and I couldn't even bear to have eye contact with anyone.

But, I made it.. I have some classes to make up next year but I made it. I had finished the Accutane cycle, and school was over. I had still been getting some outbreaks but the dermatoligist said it was normal. And what can I say, I HATED the results, I'm not sure if I can say it was worth it.. I don't get pimples anymore, but my scarring is VERY bad. I wish I could post pictures but basically my cheeks are all red, some areas darker than others, and the sides of forehead are very bad, and I even have a scar on my ear and on my nose.

I'm on Retin-A Micro right now, to prevent any blackheads, and there are 2 months until school. I'm seriously hoping that my face will get better, I don't know if the redness is from the accutane or what, but it's pretty unbearable to look at myself. As you can see my confidence is quite low at the moment, and I've gained some of the weight back.

But still, the topic does say things are starting to go right, and I hope that's true. I really hope my acne is gone, and done with, and these acne scars fade or look less ugly.

That's about it, now I have a few questions unless you're too tired after reading all that :D

I was wondering how long I have to be on Retin-A micro for? I'd really like to be able to not have to be taking or using ANYTHING other than Cetaphil once a day until school starts so I can start the healing process.

Been talking with the dermatoligist and if all goes well in about 6-12 months i'll be getting "Laser Resurfacing" done. Has anyone heard of/had this done for their acne scars? Can you give me any information?

Thanks for your time.
- Matt

[This message has been edited by Sigh (edited 06-22-2003).]

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