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I should have just left well enough alone. My skin was doing pretty good but I wanted to get rid of lingering bumps and smooth out my skin.

So I tried B5-huge mistake for me because I got a cyst. It is rare for me to get one (about one a year) so it could be coincidence on this one. I stopped using it however.

BUT WHAT WAS HORRIBLE was as an experiment i tried using the acne cure and substituting retina. Never do this. My face had a terrible reaction and I got blisters and scabs everywhere. My face was so upset that I got three huge cysts in a week, but no other bumps!!!

The cysts are terrible and wont go away. i have used prescription cortisone cream for 2 weeks and have been taking bactrim(sulfur drug) and nothing is helping.

one of my cysts is near my eye and has swollen to the size of A QUARTER!!! It is causing my eye to swell shut.

I went to the derm and they gave me a cortisone shot in the arm, but it didnt help either. The last injection that cleared directly into the cyst left me with a saucer like scar. SO if i get it injected, no more pain, but big sunken in scar.

I am so upset and i dont know what to do. My face is killing me and the things that doctor is doing are not helping at all. He wants me to continue using the cortisone cream, although the medicine itself causes thinning of the skin and can cause scarring if used for more than a week. I just dont know what to do.

It seems like I am allergic to BP and possibly sacylic acid as well as my face is so sensitive, but if BP would help a cyst I would try it. I work in a public speaking type of format and I have to wear two big bandages to keep the pus from the cysts running down my face.

And by the way, never listen to any of my posts anymore. I always sit here spitting out how to be positive when your acne is bad, but I can only say that when mine is not as bad as usual. It had been good for a while so I was positive and thought hey guys it isnt so bad. I spoke too soon.

Now it is horrible and i can see how some people talk about wanting to die etc. No, I still can walk etc, but I believe that life is not important for life's sake, but it is the quality of life that matters. AND MY quality sucks, I dont want to leave the house, i am lonely, i am embarrassed at my job, and worst of all I am in constant pain. MY life has been pretty much this way for 10 years. I dont see it getting any better either.

I guess I have always been hopeful for divine intervention, but lots of people suffer with debilitating diseases their entire lives. Why do I think I will be so lucky to get over this?

I wish that I had never been born, because this is turning out to be a wasted life. I have so much love, sensitivity, exitement and fun inside of me that could be used for good purpose on this planet, but the outside shell won't let me accomplish anything.

Oh and if you have some type of comment like you are so vain or you need to get over it- I DONT NEED TO HEAR IT. So what maybe i want to appear attractive or at least just ordinary. For that matter, I just wish I was invisible, not the subject of conversation when I pass by.( and it does happen) I wish I was a better person, strong enough to feel confident when I look like MEdussa, but I am not. I am only human and imperfect with an imperfect face.

And yes I am luckier than alot of people, but then again there are people that are a lot luckier than me. And here we get bashed for being upset about our faces and then told that we are vain. Well vainity must not count much in the eyes of god(if you believe) or for karmas sake, when perfectly beautiful people are constantly having cosmetic surgery to become more beautiful.

And then they are more beautiful, I dont see them crying like i am. Beauty is not everything, but just to feel confident about the way you look is important, not vain. I think every person needs to feel confident about their appearance, not necessarily beautiful, but confident. AND i guess I am never going to achieve this because i always have huge boils on my face.

And then i give words of advice to people on here and tell them to seek psychological help. Well i am full of ****. I am not crazy, I am just tired of waking up and being in pain and wanting to hide from the world. I should know that a million psychologists arent going to change that. I have seen a million and some how they just cant convince me to feel happy when I have cysts filled with pus. I just dont feel positive then. They may have encouraged me to think of other things besides killing myself, so insteas i just take tylenol pm and sleep all the time. I just cant wait for the next 50 years of my life...jk!

So next time i dole out some words of wisdom, just tell me to shut the hell up.

[This message has been edited by jenfen56 (edited 09-11-2003).]

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