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[QUOTE=joeh]yes but u just said she married a very handsome man.couldnt she have married an ugly man with acne that had a good personality?i know i let this get the best of me.i mean but 27 years of this crap!im a very sensative person and it didnt help i work in a factory where people dont wanna hear u taking about ur acne problems.anyways my scarring is getting better and yea i got my derm ticked off at me when i said the thermage i had done did little if nothing for my scars.he wants to put me on low doses of accutane for life i guess.i said no thanks my skin has been clear on this spiro/prem combination for over a year now.i just cant get my confidence back.i just wish i had spironlatone 27 years ago when i was in high school.i know this hole i drove myself into is my own doing and its great people can overcome this but i cant.this social phobia is hard to break.[/QUOTE]


Hi Joeh,

The history of my friend has been a rocky one too and her history of love relationships includes all kinds. Handsome is not a criteria in which she chooses a partner. The point about her handsome husband is he did, and does, find her attractive and loves her very much despite her flawed facial skin. There's more to her than that. If she had let her feelings about her skin allow her to think she was unworthy, she would have sabotaged all her chances for happiness. She took the appropriate risk with him and it turned out great for her. They've been together for more than a decade! That's the point. I want to convey that to you so you don't rob yourself of good times.

She dealt with unhappiness and depression too when her skin was damaged by the acne and scarring. There were some harsh statements said to her by unkind, tactless individuals. Once she was told by a guy that she was sexy but her face was all *?#$% up. She considered the source. It has been a rough road for her too and it is her perspective that has made it easier for her. She decided to be her own best friend.

She told me that she didn't have the means to get professional help when the acne broke out and the scarring begin but if she did, she told me that she would have taken steps to eradicate the acne and get rid of the scarring too. There's lot of help out there now. If it really gets you that down, then she said she hopes you'll make it a priority to save your money and get it taken care of--for yourself. Can you? Do you have the means? Do you have other responsibilities that are taking precedence before your needs?

She told me that she has low moments with regards to her skin but she leaves it to "moments." It is because of her husband and his acceptance that she has been able to put that aside and enjoy what she has in her life. Feeling bad, she says takes away what she has today and that is more important to her.
She has the cystic acne which is very scarring and controls it with the retinols and alpha hydroxys.

I guess I've seen how my friend has struggled with her dilemma and despite it, led a somewhat normal life. It took her years to get over it too. Their is a grieving process for the loss. She eventually made it to the acceptance part and moved on. If she could get rid of the scars, she would in a heartbeat but can't afford it. If you can, she is hoping you will. We just don't want you to hermit yourself and miss out on those who would truly find you lovable!





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