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My Story
Feb 25, 2001
An 18 year old writing,

Hello, I've been to the Dermatologist guy four times already in the span of a year and a half. My last visit was the summer of '00. However he didn't really say much to me, he even seem kinda irritated that I wasn't cleaned up. He just gave me even more pills (yay) and said give him a call when I'm cleaned up. I think he honestly gave up on me ^_^

Anyways, my acne isn't completely SEVERE (I've seen severe, and I feel so sad when I do..) but I mean, it's at that point where it does bother me and it has for a long time. But I mean, I don't get completely luny except when I'm by myself. When I'm with my friends and stuff I feel alright. I don't even pay any mind to my acne or anything (Sometimes I even care more about my hair. Eeeek!)

It seems its true that we're our own cruelest judge. But anyway, it seems my acne never goes away! I've tried everything the dermatologist gave me, and it usually helps for a week, and then it just stops and I regress. I've given up on that guy, I feel I can do a better job than he can through traditional means.

Recently (like 2 hours ago ^_^) I've decided to go a water splurge and just drink water all day. (Weee!) But I really don't know what else I can do. I can't really afford some of the products everyone else talks about, as I'm living with only my dad now (my mom left us a few month ago) and it seems funds are short. So I have to use the old school methods of acne cleaning. Basically my regime is wash my face in the morning, apply a lotion (my face gets really dry, I don't even know if I'm using good lotion or not, heh, just whatever my mom left behind.), and then I goto school. I get home, and usually I'll wash my face then, apply lotion again, and go until I goto bed, when I wash my face one last time, and then I look in the mirror and feel like crying because I see no improvement. And when there is improvement, something else pops up. I get $#%#$%#$ mad. Usually I can refrain, but sometimes I'll get so mad I'll just attack my face, hehe, which is never good. But I really don't know what to do. I just feel like I needed to say something somewhere. Because my dad isn't very useful. And I hate to talk to my personal friends about it, because I don't want to point out to them that I feel my acne is bad in fear that they might agree with me, which will just crush me. Ugh.

And on another note, I feel intimidated by those with clean faces, does anyone else? Heck, I'd probably drop over dead if one of them asked me out on a date. I practically consider themselves superior to me sometimes. It's hopeless ^_^

Well, that's my rant. Thanks for listening.

- Jeff

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