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Catabu-

I can relate to you in many ways regarding your feelings all your life about something missing. I had been tested for ADHD in high school 2 times and never followed up with my diagnonsis (which was positive) or tried to fix anything becasue I always was smart.

In college I realized that I had a hard time managing my time and disclipining myself to do my work. I started to get anxious about everything. Well that on top of the fact I lose EVERYTHING, cannot watch TV or sit still for 5 min, am always late, and so on....finally led me to realize maybe I do have a problem.

I was put on Concerta at first (time realeased ritalin) which worked for a bit, but then gave me negative side effects...moodiness ect. I changed my dosage and still had no results so went on Adderall XR 20 mg. I do agree that adderall is a "wonder drug" - IF you have ADD. If you do not, it will simply get you all messed up and high. But for me, it makes me concentrate and focused. I have switch my dosage a few times and am now on 40 mg a day.

I will say, I think its a great aspect of add treatment. However, I have never been one to keep up with therapy and in college that was fine. I took my adderall during the week and it helped me out alot (again, I am a smart person adn it is not just this "study drug" that I used). I would take Drug vacations during the weekends because Ihad nothing to do for the most part except ski, lounge and party.

Now, I work full time and am noticing many other things that are not rememied by medications and realize that the only way to be truely effective to your symptoms and disorder, is to combine medication with therepy. I sometimes feel that adderall can make things worse when you dont have a set schedule or task list- or when you have too much. Then I find myslef missing the simple things...like grabbing my keys, or remembering if I locked the door or shut the stove off, and my biggest thing is I can never get out of the house on time!! No matter if I am ready 1 hour early...i will find something to do then be ready to leave adn realize I lost my purse and so on. It has come to a point of major frusteration for me and I have realized I need to see a professional who is familiar with the patterns and the ADHD brain.

I know it may sound petty to have to have a counseler tell you how to organize your life in a manor that the kyes go on the hook when you walk in, the jacket hung up. But its a routine I find so helpful and is the start of the organization process for me. Now, when it comes to work...I am the most organized person, meticulous attn to detail, almost never make mistakes, and never ever miss dealdlines.

But I cannot remember to hang my keys up or lock my car doors....just shows how unique of a problem it is, and how frusterating it is to one that has it. Outside people see you as "scatterbrained" or un-caring. But I finally understand that I am not, and that the best way is a combo of treatments along with understanding what is wrong. My friends do still get pissed off with me when I am late ect, but I am getting better and they have realized that it really is a problem and not just me being slow or lazy...and I can tell you, that is one of the biggest helps- people understanding and not making you feel like an idiot, when clearly you are not. I mean I had a 1380 on my SAT's and a 3.7 gpa in school...and was by no means a nerd or study freak. I also excel well at my job, better than most at my company who are new. But I struggle to get there and in everyday life mostly. I am lucky I have the brains and other skills to do this and that it does not show, but the petty frusterations are what kills me.

Now, that is only me....and as you can see I had to experiement with meds and I am not suggesting it for you. I have not realy tried any supplements but for now, I am doing my best and cannot afford the time or money to go buy all these natural herbs and remedies to try. When I have time and money, I will besure to look into it and am always working on methods to "Train" myself to someday soon, get off the meds.

Sorry if this is a bit long and scattered - I just had my tonsills out Tuesday and am a big fluttery from the meds and am not being the best with grammer or spelling, but I am sure you get the idea.

Good luck!

Robyn





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