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[QUOTE=babk01]My husband has ADD and it is causing us a lot of heartache. I do not understand how he does exceptionally well at work (he just got promoted), but at home he forgets everything. He does not forget how to do his job (he's an army infantry sargeant) or the things related to his job, but I can't get him to put things back where he found them for the life of me. If I hear the words, "Oh I forgot" one more time, I am going to have a nervous breakdown. He is currently taking adderal, but it does not seem to be working. He's only on this med because I begged him to get help. He says he can't get counseling for this because he could lose his job and when I suggested he get private counseling, off post, he said he thought that was a good idea and would look into it, but never did. We are growing apart VERY rapidly and we've only been married for a year and a half. We also have a five and a half month old baby girl. I'm sick of him. I can't stand being in the same room as him. I'm having a hard time wanting to be intimite with him. I've tried to be patient, but alll I've ended up doing is enabling him. I'm done keeping track of his things, his appointments, his computer room (which is a mess), etc. I pay all the bills, take care of the baby, cook all the meals, wash the laundry, and babysit him. I'm tired!! Any advice you guys could give me would be greatly appreciated. I'm turning 33 this month. I'm too old to be his keeper. I feel like I have two children!!
Thank You,
Kimberly (Nickname - Kimbo)[/QUOTE]

Kimberly,

Wow! I feel like we're kindered spirits. I am having the exact same issues with my husband and then some. We have been married a little over a year (but together for the past 10). We also have a baby girl, just about to turn five months old and a seven year old son.

The reason I came on this site tonight was after I tried to find out as much as I can about the side effects of Adderall (which my husband also takes). I am so burnt out and am hoping maybe the issues he has are related to the medication.

He has zero sex drive and it is a constant topic of conversation in our house. Of course I take it personally, like there's something wrong with me. I've also wondered if he's having an affair, but don't know when or where he would fit it in to his schedule. He always has an excuse for not being intimate (usually because he's to tired). We have had sex a total of two times in nine months, and we're newlyweds!!!

Secondly, he seems on edge at all times and my son and I are always the ones that he takes it out on. I don't understand why we are supposed to be the people he loves most, but he doesn't treat anybody else the way he treats us. I've also read that anger can be a side effect of adderall. He just seems like a miserable person to me and he never used to be. I can't help but to think that he resents me.

He is also has amazing work ethic and does very well on the job, but it's like we see a different person when he gets home. I feel like I'm a single parent living with a roommate. He doesn't even remotely help with the kids. The baby will cry and it's like he doesn't even hear her. He never just picks her up, but only when he's asked to. In her five months on earth he has never gotten up with her at night, never bathed her, changed her diapers maybe five times, dressed her maybe twice, put her to bed once, etc. Again, I don't know if this is add related, or if he's just a crappy father.

I have loved this guy for so long, but am now questioning if we can stick this out. Unfortunately, we don't have insurance because it costs $800/month through his employer, so counseling is out of the question. He has a psychiatrist that he sees occasionally to get his adderall prescription, but he would never open up and talk about our problems (even when directly asked).

I'm soooo frustrated, but take comfort in knowing I'm not the only one. How long has your husband been taking adderall?





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