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I've seen this alot and my folks are culprits of this too. Why do parents shrug off ADD so much. My folks don't believe that I should go to the dr. to see if I have this. They think that I'm being stupid for even thinking I may have it. Many other parents are the same way. I mean, if I had cancer I'm sure they would want me to be treated. Why is this?
I was in a similar situation myself. My mom didnt want me to be "labeled" adhd because she was afraid that all of my hard work in HS would be useless and i wouldnt get into my dream school because of it, and she was worried that future employers wouldnt want to hire/ promote me because of it. She's a psychiatric nurse and she doesnt want me to be taking stimulants. My dads cool with it but, then again, he has adhd so he knows what i go through.

Some parents dont believe that its real or dont WANT you to have it because then they know that he/she gave it to you. I dont know how old you are but if you're over 18 and you feel strongly enough just go and get tested. If you're "too young", then explain to your parents why you're so adimint(sp) about it and go from there. That's what i did and it worked for me.
Once again msmars your information is wrong and I also feel the need to reiterate the fact that you are obsessed with add and probably suffering from ocd and hypochondria.

Children of people who have disease do NOT automatically inherit those diseases. In fact, most genetic defects or diseases “skip a generation”. My mother had vonRecklinghausen syndrome, RSD and bone cancer, diseases which carry a 50%-75% inheritance rate, and died at age 40. I or my sister did not develop any of these syndromes. I have developed totally unrelated ailments myself, and my sister has remained extremely healthy and fit. 90% of the time your own body produces disease or problems with the body in response to its own chemistry, what you put in it, your environmental surroundings and yes, some if it is genetic. Just because one or both of your parents have ADD does NOT automatically mean they will pass it to the child. There are some situations that this are true, and some diseases require both parents to carry the disease dormant and pass it to a child. This is where your thinking is obviously confused. You seem to strongly believe you have ADD automatically because a parent does.

Here is a warning: You do NOT want to have ADD. You really need to get over it. A life full of psychiatric illness and pill-popping should not be what you want. By your posts I see that this is what you want. You want to experiment with drugs. I have said before you have an obvious drug-seeking pattern about you. When you start taking a pill to wake up your mind, you will soon also start taking a pill to put your mind at rest in the night time. Children and young adults abusing (in your case strongly seeking) stimulants will usually lead a life of substance and alcohol abuse. Listen to your mother. At your age, having ADD should not even be considered. According to the dsm-iv, if you do not show signs of attention deficiency and hyperactivity by the age of 7 then a diagnosis of ADD is not possible except under very extreme circumstances, one of them not being hypochondria.

You parents are trying to protect you. And they have every right to be concerned. As a psychiatric nurse, your mother knows first hand what kind of behavior is associated with ADD and what years of taking psychoactive drugs and stimulants do to your body. She has seen first hand medicines like amphetamines; Ritalin and Concerta turn ordinary people with some type of childhood attention deficiency turn to drug dealing, prostitution, robbery and other forms of violent crimes to support a crank, crack, or ice addiction which started when a parent decided to give the kid Crank instead of taking it to the movies. [B] No parent wants to see this happen to their child as a direct result of putting them on medicine. [/B] These are the cold, hard facts sister.

Take some Wellbutrin and get over yourself.
Bearboy,
It seems you're doing 'tough love' and that's noble and perhaps courageous, but I think (a) it's polarizing and (b) the 'truth' is somewhere in the middle. Please heed your own advice and "see" that; I'm sure that if and when you do, you will ease up and yourself be more flexible in your position as regards the 'middle', or a more balanced perspective and approach in this case. Peace.
Ok bearboy, im going to explain this to you one more time. 1) I never said that because my dad had adhd, i have it!
2) adhd DOES tend to run in families and that means that more often then not, somewhere along the family tree someone most likely has it. Thus, your parents gave you the genes because it is somewhat genetic. I'm sorry about your mom but that doenst mean that you can ridicule me about things. All i was saying is that parents dont want to give their kids a problem and if their kid is diagnosed with something of this nature then they MAY feel like its their fault.
3) I DO NOT want to have add, who would. Why would i want to have something that is going to make people discriminate agianst me, think that im dumb, cause me trouble for my entire life, and cost me time money and a chance at living a completely "normal" life? I'm not stupid so dont treat me like i am. I'm 16 years old, not 6.
4) Why are you only focusing on me when there are numerous other people on here that take medication and ask questions about the whole testing process? I just wanted to be knowledgeable about what was going on.
5) I had the symptoms when i was younger, its just that im female and it takes longer usually for girls to be diagnosed and it usually takes longer for "gifted" kids to be dianosed because they dont have the "usual" problems
6) You dont know me and have no right to automatically [B]assume[/B] things about me when you sure as [mess] dont know me or anything about me.

Why are you telling me to take some wellbutrin when you are basically saying that i shouldnt be taking any medication at all??? That sounds kinda shady, if you ask me. But then again, why would you ask me anything, all you want to do is preach to me about how much of a horrible, drug abusing, future alcoholic, stupid, worthless excuse for a human being that i am. Why dont you answer the persons question, instead of yelling at me, if you have such a problem with what i said, or do you just feel like be angry all of the time instead of trying to be helpful?
It looks as if bearboy is trying to warn you about the possibilities of what can happen. By the post he seems to be caring and trying just to tell you what can happen if your not careful!
To Bearboy:
I just had to comment on this-
I understand that you may honestly be trying to help, but I fail to see how criticizing and attacking everything that msmars writes is in anyway helpful to anyone. I honestly do respect your opinion and I really don't want to start an argument, but I really feel that you have gotten your point across, and it is not necessary to take it any further. You seem to want to argue with msmars for some reason, but don't you think that what the people that post on these message boards really need is support and constructive advice, not criticism? I can see where you are coming from, although I don't agree with your opinion, but whatever the problem is with a person, whether it be ADD or hypochondria, or ocd, or whatever, if they are posting here, then for some reason they were in enough pain or discomfort to seek help, and anyone in this situation deserves support, not ridicule. Also, I think you should read msmars' posts a little more carefully before you make assumptions about what she is trying to say. Just something to think about- my intention is really not to get in an argument or offend anyone- really!
Bearboy..your opinions, though you have every right in a message forum to voice them, are too harsh and presumptive. The young individual who you take issue with was using this board for feedback and education regarding something that is affecting his/her life. I would ask you why you visit these boards and I would bet it's for some sort of support and/or education about ADHD. I take issue with the fact that you show so little acceptance for this young individual who has sought the "acceptable" paths to find out if his/her inclings regarding ADHD were correct. It is true that no mother/father would or should want their child to suffer from ADHD and the lifelong effects it carries, but if a child of theirs has it, isn't it in the parent's best interest to do something to help the child get better so they can function in society? Ignoring it doesn't make it nonexistent. Please try to be a bit more supportive Bearboy of those who seek advice from the "adults" on this board. BTW, Bearboy, are you a medical professional? Just curious because if you were, you might know that just because a person is a "psychiatric nurse", it doesn't qualify her to know every diagnosis in the DSM..if she is a nonbeliever in ADHD (which is completely possible), she may be inclined to not educate herself about it at all. I have been an RN in intensive care for the last 10 years, but that doesn't qualify me as an expert on the human body!
[QUOTE="BearBoy"]Just because one or both of your parents have ADD does NOT automatically mean they will pass it to the child. There are some situations that this are true, and some diseases require both parents to carry the disease dormant and pass it to a child. This is where your thinking is obviously confused. You seem to strongly believe you have ADD automatically because a parent does.[/QUOTE]

In most situations this is true. True AD/HD is genetic in 100% of the cases. If both parents have AD/HD, there is a 89-90% chance that each child will have it.
I just want to say thank you to everyone who is supporting me and, there are a couple of things that i think i should clear up. I know what can happen, if you're not careful, but i've seen what drug abuse has done to people close to me and i would never do anything that would harm my body and future. I try not to live a life of making assumptions about people and i would appreciate it if all of the nai-sayers dont make them about me, or anyone else on this board for that matter. If you dont agree with what i do with my life then thats fine but i dont need ridicule and verbal abuse from someone that i dont know because that makes me wary of posting here in the future, even though i know that everyone isnt like bearboy.

Im sorry if i have offended anyone in any way but i dont feel that it is right for someone to assume that i am going to become addicted to drugs and alcohol because i have chosen to take medication for my adhd. I'm young, but not naive and stupid, and i know my rights as a person and i know that people deserve more respect, as a human being, then has been given lately. I hope that we can all just get back to the reason that all of us came to this board in the first place: to ask/answer questions about add. That way we dont have people not come back to the boards for 4 days because they dont want to ruin their day by reading someguys opinion of them.
I don't think that anyone wants to see a kid suffer from adhd but at the same time we need to realize that when I was a kid I was out playing sports and doing other things outside with my friends. I mean I had a way to spend my energy. Have you ever put a dog or cat in a confined space for awhile and then let it out? What happens? they go nuts wanting to play! Does the dog or cat have adhd? What I am saying is that in todays day and age it doesn't seem that our kids are as active as we were, therefor sitting in front of the television only allows them to build up energy. My son has adhd and when I pick him up from his mom he has taken 72mg of concerta and he is wired for sound. By the next day even if he doesn't get his medication he is wore out from doing things with me outside, we stay busy and he gets to get out that energy that he would normally bottle up at home because no one takes the time to do anything with him. I will agree that if a child NEEDS medication to concentrate in school then give it to him. But for those who are quick to assume that a child has adhd because he has a lot of energy, take him swimming, go walk around a nature park for a couple hours or get out and play ball with them, then tell me how much energy they have at the end of the day! As parents we have become lazy. We need to get off our butts and spend time with our children doing something constructive!
Dadwhocares...as a matter of fact, I often have postulated, many times, the idea that my doberman has ADD. The inattentive type. But, that is for another forum!
I was told something this weekend by my wife who has numerous college credit hours toward a elementary education degree. She said that one of her professors was talking about ADHD and how he does believe it exsists but as a product of our society. Tell me what you guys think of this theory. Way back when children were brought up on sesame street and other educational programs. Nothing too complicated yet educational, now we have sony playstation that kids are playing at a very young age, and all of the stuff on television that is highly stimulating. Ask your self, if a child brought up from a very young age that is subjected to this kind of overwhelming stimulation will they be able to concentrate while listening to what they see as a boring teacher? Will they be able to stay focused on anything less than the high powered stimulation that they have been receiving from that very young age. Could we as parents find an alternative educational stimulation to subject our kids to at that same young age and what affects might that have. We tend to look to medication so quickly and in my opinion fail to look at what might be the underlying problem. Just a thought. What is your opinion.
That hypothesis has been disprovin many times.
Please elaborate brainfOg.
dadwhocares - just want to say that I agree with your posts 100%!!!!
[QUOTE=dadwhocares]Please elaborate brainfOg.[/QUOTE]

Watching TV or playing video games doesn't cause AD/HD. Scientists have proven many times over that AD/HD is biological and not caused from society. The very few researchers who disagreed have been proven wrong many years ago.

AD/HD has been around for many many many generations. Much longer than modern day stimulation.

Can watching too much TV make AD/HD worse? Possibly. But most individuals with AD/HD are visual people by design.

Can playing video games make AD/HD worse? Possibly. But video games don't cause AD/HD.

AD/HD kids play more video games than a 'normal' kid, due to the same reason AD/HD causes ADDers to do anything. Self-medication.

When kids who play video games are scanned with a PET or SPECT scan it looks like they have just taken cocaine. This is good and bad. The reason this is good is because it's helping activity in their frontal lobes, but the reason this is bad is because video games become addicting in *almost* the same way as cocaine.

ADDers need a constant supply of stimulation in their life in order to keep their frontal lobes operating correctly and mood stable. This stimulation needs to be in balance and not a roller coaster. This up and down stimulation which usually happens from drugs and alcohol, chronic fighting and arguing, subconsciously stirring up chaos in their relationships, hyperactivity, day dreaming, starting a million different projects, video games, extreme sports, etc. is all an attempt to get their brains to work correctly.

Since video games causes a roller coaster of stimulation it makes AD/HD worse. Since it makes it worse it can make it look like the cause, but actually it's just exacerbating the disorder.
[QUOTE=DoubleVision]Dadwhocares...as a matter of fact, I often have postulated, many times, the idea that my doberman has ADD. The inattentive type. But, that is for another forum![/QUOTE]

Yeah I have seen AD/HD symptoms in German Shepards as well. One hypothesis by a researcher at UC Irvine, believes that AD/HD may have been caused when certain human biology evolved, (then as an asset to humans) many years ago in order to help them overcome their environment.
Please accept my apology msmars. I did not mean to be a jerk. I just hate the thought of anyone going through what I and many others have gone through. I just wanted you to understand the risk involved, though I did come about it in the wrong way. Good luck!
bearboy-
I accept your apology and i also owe you an apology. My temper gets the best of me sometimes and i dont think as clearly as i should sometimes; I'm working on it though. I seriously weighed the pros and cons of everything and im taking steps to do what i found to be the best option for me at this particular time. If, in the future, i decide that i dont want to medicate myself anymore, then i wont. But for now i think that it is one of the best options for me since i still am in school and that is getting more and more difficult for me to deal with, attention wise. I wish you the best of luck yourself and i hope that everything works out for you.

In response to dogs possibly having adhd---
I've thought the same thing about my cats numerous times after watching their habits and how they go about things. It's actually quite amusing!

I read or heard somewhere (i dont remember where) that someone said that when we were evolving during the "caveman era", some people's frontal lobe(i believe) didnt develop like the rest of the human population and were "left behind", so to speak. So all of ADDers caveman ancestors didnt really adapt to the 'changes'(for lack of a better word) like the other people were. I'm curious to know if anyone else has heard about this as well. I cant remember where i heard it to save my life but i thought that it was interesting and i jsut want to know if there is any truth behind it. Thanks.
[QUOTE=dadwhocares]I don't think that anyone wants to see a kid suffer from adhd but at the same time we need to realize that when I was a kid I was out playing sports and doing other things outside with my friends. I mean I had a way to spend my energy. Have you ever put a dog or cat in a confined space for awhile and then let it out? What happens? they go nuts wanting to play! Does the dog or cat have adhd? What I am saying is that in todays day and age it doesn't seem that our kids are as active as we were, therefor sitting in front of the television only allows them to build up energy. My son has adhd and when I pick him up from his mom he has taken 72mg of concerta and he is wired for sound. By the next day even if he doesn't get his medication he is wore out from doing things with me outside, we stay busy and he gets to get out that energy that he would normally bottle up at home because no one takes the time to do anything with him. I will agree that if a child NEEDS medication to concentrate in school then give it to him. But for those who are quick to assume that a child has adhd because he has a lot of energy, take him swimming, go walk around a nature park for a couple hours or get out and play ball with them, then tell me how much energy they have at the end of the day! As parents we have become lazy. We need to get off our butts and spend time with our children doing something constructive![/QUOTE]

I just have to comment on this; it's got more meaning then people think. Activity is a key element!

In fact, in regards to dogs and ADD, I just read from the Humane Society that it is thought to be basically caused when active dogs do not get sufficient exercise. They also mention another intriging cause: if they are accidently rewarded when acting over-excitable!

Hyperactive kids and dogs...could be accidently rewarded with more attention I suppose. They can then associate the action as an attention getter. Behaviors can be learned like anything else in life. How they are learned requires some detective work which is usually not attempted in our rather easy to let a pill do the work society.

Lack of exercise in kids and dogs...they are way too energetic beings not to have tons of activity....but recess is short, physical education is basically non-existant before junior high, and the weekend athlete routine won't help during the week. Kids need vigorous, physical activity to calm them and also sharpen their minds to think clearly...every day in large quantities. They just aren't getting it with all the T.V., video games and piles of homework after a long day sitting at a desk in school.
I had my kids this weekend through Monday evening. My son that takes concerta was not given the dosage his mother gives (72mg) I gave him 36mg in the morning only because I was told by my attorney to give it to him. Within 30 minutes of recieving his concerta he started getting very "jumpy" and started to irritate his brother and sister. We immediately got in the car and took a 1 hour drive to my sisters house. My wife read to the kids the entire drive. All three were calm and attentive. We got to my sisters house and they went swimming for about 5 hours then we went to watch fireworks. While at the park my son played with a remote control four wheeler by himself while his brother and sister played with their cousins. by the time we got in the car to go home my son with ADHD was to the point that his medication should have worn off. He road in the car quietly and was able to keep to himself without bothering his brother or sister. My point is that even if my son does have ADHD we allowed him to spend his energy in a constructive manner, and as a result he was NOT high strung all day and to be honest he behave better than his brother and sister. I will stand by my opinion that as parents we tend to be lazy and would rather fix a problem with drugs. This must stop.
[QUOTE=dadwhocares]I had my kids this weekend through Monday evening. My son that takes concerta was not given the dosage his mother gives (72mg) I gave him 36mg in the morning only because I was told by my attorney to give it to him. Within 30 minutes of recieving his concerta he started getting very "jumpy" and started to irritate his brother and sister. We immediately got in the car and took a 1 hour drive to my sisters house. My wife read to the kids the entire drive. All three were calm and attentive. We got to my sisters house and they went swimming for about 5 hours then we went to watch fireworks. While at the park my son played with a remote control four wheeler by himself while his brother and sister played with their cousins. by the time we got in the car to go home my son with ADHD was to the point that his medication should have worn off. He road in the car quietly and was able to keep to himself without bothering his brother or sister. My point is that even if my son does have ADHD we allowed him to spend his energy in a constructive manner, and as a result he was NOT high strung all day and to be honest he behave better than his brother and sister. I will stand by my opinion that as parents we tend to be lazy and would rather fix a problem with drugs. This must stop.[/QUOTE]

I agree. If I were you, I'd become an expert on Concerta, read and know every health/mind/mood related adverse effect. Observe, write down and even get others to witness to any adverse behaviors....film him with a video camera after his Concerta if he becomes moody/aggressive after it. Take his blood pressure/pulse regularly with home kits. If you can prove any negative health or mood adverse effects, perhaps a lawyer or judge will see it your way and he could get off the drug. Of course, I am only speculating it would work, since once the psychiatric machine pins a diagnosis on a kid, chances are he's labeled for life. The courts don't understand that ADD/ADHD is still not biologically testable, thus making it a non-confirmable biological illness. They just go with what doctors say.

You always get biological disease confirmed in actual biological tests such a diabetes/cancer, but as of yet, most kids get no biological tests when diagnoised for ADD/ADHD. But it, for some reason, is accepted as biological disease when in fact it is a theory of biological disease. And since most of these ADD kids test high on IQ's, it makes you wonder why this is considered disease at all; it could be just mainly a different working brain that needs different than mainstream teaching methods and more stimulating environment and work/exercise than the average kid.
Ok, I am a parent who has taken my daughter off of ADHD medication for very good reasons. I am tired of people saying that there is NO ADD or ADHD. There IS. My daughter was NOT just a disobedient child, she was also not a bad student, in fact she has always been in advanced classes. The problem is that there is a condition called ADD and ADHD but medication is not the ONLY answer.

My daughter, who is 9 years old, has taken medication for ADHD since she was 4. She started with Dexadrine, then Ritalin, and then Concerta. She experienced alot of chest pains, which didn't show anything unusual on the EKG and also had severe migrains which they gave her another medication for. Concerta helped her to focus, but if she was interrupted she would become hostile and angry. With the medication she was never happy but she was focused.

I believe that taking long term medications has led my daughter to have other problems. A year ago, after several episodes of gross hematuria (Large amounts of blood in her urine), she was diagnosed and medicated for Kidney Stones. I was wondering if anyone else might have noticed kidney stones after taking time release medications for ADHD such as Concerta. I think there may be a link.

I have taken my daughter off of the ADHD medications and am dealing with it through focusing and concentration excersises and I hope that my daughter will soon be able to stop taking the medications for her kidneys as well. She has gained some weight, which is a good thing since she was smaller and thinner than all the other kids her age. I have also decided to homeschool so I can help her to stay focused while learning without depending on medication to do it for her. I have noticed that a child with ADD or ADHD can concentrate if it is something they enjoy, such as music for my daughter, playing music while studying helps her to concentrate while it does the opposite for someone who does not have this disorder. My opinion is that ADD and ADHD can be treated with patience on the child's part and the parents. I would appreciate any feedback. Thank you
[QUOTE=SpeisFamily]Ok, I am a parent who has taken my daughter off of ADHD medication for very good reasons. I am tired of people saying that there is NO ADD or ADHD. There IS. My daughter was NOT just a disobedient child, she was also not a bad student, in fact she has always been in advanced classes. The problem is that there is a condition called ADD and ADHD but medication is not the ONLY answer.

My daughter, who is 9 years old, has taken medication for ADHD since she was 4. She started with Dexadrine, then Ritalin, and then Concerta. She experienced alot of chest pains, which didn't show anything unusual on the EKG and also had severe migrains which they gave her another medication for. Concerta helped her to focus, but if she was interrupted she would become hostile and angry. With the medication she was never happy but she was focused.

I believe that taking long term medications has led my daughter to have other problems. A year ago, after several episodes of gross hematuria (Large amounts of blood in her urine), she was diagnosed and medicated for Kidney Stones. I was wondering if anyone else might have noticed kidney stones after taking time release medications for ADHD such as Concerta. I think there may be a link.

I have taken my daughter off of the ADHD medications and am dealing with it through focusing and concentration excersises and I hope that my daughter will soon be able to stop taking the medications for her kidneys as well. She has gained some weight, which is a good thing since she was smaller and thinner than all the other kids her age. I have also decided to homeschool so I can help her to stay focused while learning without depending on medication to do it for her. I have noticed that a child with ADD or ADHD can concentrate if it is something they enjoy, such as music for my daughter, playing music while studying helps her to concentrate while it does the opposite for someone who does not have this disorder. My opinion is that ADD and ADHD can be treated with patience on the child's part and the parents. I would appreciate any feedback. Thank you[/QUOTE]

Exactly. There is such a thing as ADD, but it's not a biological proven "disease" like diabetes and therefore should not treated with drugs, especially ones that can cause health problems. You are right, your daughter's health was probably effected by the amphetamines....good for you to have decided to get her off them. Your methods sound like they are working and have worked for many others! Congratulations, you are doing the right thing.
it is finally nice to hear that there are parents out there that truly care about their childs health rather than their own personal prefrences. Yes sometimes it is hard dealing with a child with ADHD especially when they are not medicated. Parenting is hard work and we need to accept that. I want to feel at the end of the day that I did something with my child that possibly helped him beat the need for the drugs. I would rather teach him how to use his energy constructivly than to teach him that a drug will solve his problems. I feel so sorry for my son because he has been taught that he is different from his brother and sister. While visiting me lately my son told his little brother (with ADHD) during an argument, "at least I don't have mental problems!" I about came unglued! I looked at him and told him that we ALL have mental problems. Some are just different than others. I could not believe that my oldest son even thought that it was okay to say something like that! Yes children with ADHD are different, but aren't we all. I have a problem speaking my mind. Is there something I can take to keep me from doing this? My oldest son thinks he walks on water. What can we give him? DRugs, drugs, drugs! I'm tired of it! I commend you speisfamily for making the commitment to be a leader for your child rather than a follower.
Thank you, dadwhocares, it was a hard decision to make. I believe ADD and ADHD children are very talented. They are able to multi task and excel in things they are interested in. To me doing homework, listening to music, and singing along is too much for me to do at one time, but it actually helps my daughter to focus. people with this disorder excel in sports that require attention to multiple tasks. They excel in music, whether it be singing or playing difficult instruments such as the drums, guitar or violin. I sometimes see her ADHD as a gift, she is so talented. I just wish others saw what I see.
[QUOTE=dadwhocares]it is finally nice to hear that there are parents out there that truly care about their childs health rather than their own personal prefrences. Yes sometimes it is hard dealing with a child with ADHD especially when they are not medicated. Parenting is hard work and we need to accept that. I want to feel at the end of the day that I did something with my child that possibly helped him beat the need for the drugs. I would rather teach him how to use his energy constructivly than to teach him that a drug will solve his problems. I feel so sorry for my son because he has been taught that he is different from his brother and sister. While visiting me lately my son told his little brother (with ADHD) during an argument, "at least I don't have mental problems!" I about came unglued! I looked at him and told him that we ALL have mental problems. Some are just different than others. I could not believe that my oldest son even thought that it was okay to say something like that! Yes children with ADHD are different, but aren't we all. I have a problem speaking my mind. Is there something I can take to keep me from doing this? My oldest son thinks he walks on water. What can we give him? DRugs, drugs, drugs! I'm tired of it! I commend you speisfamily for making the commitment to be a leader for your child rather than a follower.[/QUOTE]

Don't hold it against your older son. Do you know why your older son thought it was ok to say that? Because the psychiatric community has packaged and labeled your son....they've given everyone permission to think and say that these wonderful kids are mentally ill or politely put, have a mental disorder, when in fact, that is highly debatable if you ask me.

Neurological disorders of the brain (what they try to say ADD is) from what I've read always present physical symptoms that can be quite severe, from autism to parkinsons...ever see an ADDer shake uncontrollably, lose conciousness, not be able to speak or have severe coordination problems? Does your son have any of that happening to him?

Well, my nephew sure didn't and he was diagnoised ADHD by experts; his parents are in the medical field so they made sure they got the best. They also made sure that when he started to have various ill effects from the ADD drugs that were tried(at first they seemed to work), that they yanked him off of them. A new school year and new teacher brought success for him in school, minus the meds.
Funny my mom always said it was because of her that I had A.D.D. ..She felt that being absent alot during the first year of my life ( she worked 2 jobs) had me bored with unattentive babysitter. My mom is now gone but I always remember her saying that. She would say thats why people think all A.D.D. parents are bad because the majority are..Her theory always had me thinking that maybe the first year of life has something to do with it.My middle child who also has a.d.d. was born when i worked graveyard shift and slept most of the day with him for his first year of life..As for dadwhocares ..sounds like you are putting down your wife. easy to say how easy it is for a weekend dad. I hate to sound harsh but running thier energy out on days that you work versus your free fun time weekends is much different. My weekend dad was always my hero..he was the one who took us places played with us etc..now I am grown and see the full picture & I respect my mother much more.
sheezle,
I understand why you think I might be running down their mother (my ex) but there is a difference between running someone down and stating the facts. I have had my children for more than the weekend and I was able to stay busy with my kids. You don't need to give parents an excuse to be lazy. I was there the week after my ex and I separated at the doctors office when my ex pleaded to have my son put on ritalin. I lived with my son until that point and she and I never even discussed ADHD and all of the sudden when things get tough for her she needed to find a way to relieve some of the stress. I grew up and my mom and dad worked, I played sports year round and my two sisters had activities as well, are you trying to tell me that it is harder now than it was back then. Think of all of the technological advances that we have today to make life easier, I can't believe that anyone would try to tell me that it's hard to keep a child busy. If people don't want that responsibility, they don't need to have kids. Having kids is a choice and if someone makes that decision don't whine about how hard it is. On another topic maybe if we made the decision to live an active lifestyle with our kids America would not have the obesity problem that we have today. Funny that you want to tell me how hard it is to stay busy with your kids. This last weekend I needed to wash my cars. I had absolutely nothing else planned for sunday afternoon, I could have taken them to the car wash and been done within a half hour. I decided to wash them at home and as soon as I started my boys wanted to help. With all three of us doing it it didn't take long so I decided to wax them as well, I told the boys it was hard work and they insisted on helping. Yes I had to redo some of what they had done but who cares. There were times that my sons wanted to quit and I told them that they are going to finish what they started. When we were done they looked at both cars and were very proud of there accomplishment. I then told them to get in and I took them to get a snow cone. This made there day. When we got back it was almost time for dinner so I started cooking, befor I knew it they were peeling potatoes, setting the table, and helping with dinner. When we sat down to eat my wife commented on the food and the kids were more than happy to remind her that they helped. If parents would make the everyday things in life fun for there kids maybe they would WANT to help more and then it doesn't become such a chore to keep them busy. One more thing and I will get off of my soap box.....For all of the custodial parents out there who think the "weekend parents" have it so easy. Ask yourself this..... What would it be like if one day my kids were not there everyday? What if I did not get to see all of the "firsts" in their lives, what if I did not get to hear the laughter of my children on a day to day basis? My ex use to tell me how hard it was and my response without hesitation was "if it's too hard, I will be happy to care for the kids" She doesn't complain too much to me anymore.
I have to agree with dadwhocares. The problem with parents today is that they sit their kids in front of the TV or video game and get upset when they get bored and interrupt what the parent is doing. Why don't you try involving your children and teaching them something. My daughter also helps me cook and is very proud that she made spagetti last night with my help only in cutting the onions, and alot of supervision. Involving the kids teaches them and makes what you are doing take less time. I am not bothered when my girls run up to me while I am doing dishes to tell me they are bored. I simply pull up a chair, let one rinse and the other dry. I have less work to do, the kids are thrilled to be big helpers, and I know where they are and what they are doing every second.
speisfamily, I have to agree with you on the talent issue. If my son is interested in something he can pick it up almost instantly, but on the flip side, if he doesn't like it you can ALMOST forget it. I want to also say that although I still refuse to label my son with ADHD, I will say he has a hard time concentrating sometimes and he does occassionally get a little excited. By the same token, I find myself moving from one thing to another at work and finding it hard to finish one thing. Was I labeled as a child with ADHD? No, I always did well in school and was always busy after school. I guess since I played sports I released my energy on the field. To be honest I had all of the latest TV games but don't remember wanting to sit down and play them. I also want to say that my son is considered "different" by his mother and he will at times use this to his advantage. He know how to use the ADHD card to his advantage and I continually stress to him that he must take responsibility for his actions. Lately he thinks before he acts.
This by itself tells me my son might not have ADHD. My wife and I did a lot of reading on the subject and one thing that stood out is how a child with ADHD only thinks in the here and now, not thinking about consequences of their actions, trust me if my son looks at me prior to doing something that he knows is wrong......he is already thinking about the consequences. I just want to beg everyone to take the time to get to know your children, find out what makes them tick and spend the needed time and energy on your kids before having them misdiagnosed with ADHD just to suit your personal needs.
dadwhocares, when I read your post earlier about you making your son finish the car washing job when he didn't want to . Well , I almost responded then but thought I would just stay out. I wanted to respond by saying that your son does not sound like he has a.d.d...or that the medication is working..A child with A.D.D. can not be forced to do anything by anyone unless physical strength is used and that alot of the times doesn't work..I remember cussing my mom and each slap I got made me cuss louder......I would ignore my attorney and not give him the medicine and see how he does to demands that he does not want to do. You may be right your ex wife may be a bit lazy..My middle child is the one with a.d.d. and when the kids are in the pool and I say time to get out they all say please I say no then 2 get out and then I actually have to jump in the pool to get the other one out..I take his pool time away from him for 2 weeks and darn if he does not do the exact same thing the next time in the pool. I think it helps me that I am also A.D.D. so I do not let it anger me..I understand that he is not just trying to make my life hard. I talk to him alot about how he is wired differently and how he can use it in a positive manner or use it to get into trouble... I think every parent should read books on this (not the internet)...then educate your child so the child can recognize when he is losing self control..I really think self control is probably the only true bad trait of A.D.D....I think you should have the right to get a second opinion with your own Dr. for your son...Sorry I hate typing and it doesn't interest me so hope it makes since as I did it fast to get it over with...
That's is what I have been trying to say all along. I am sure that it sounded harsh to hear that I made my son finish a job that he voluntarily started but personally I believe the old motto "finish what you start". t's funny that you talk about swimming because I take my kids swimming every weekend. My middle child is also the one that supposedly has ADHD and he loves to swim. It usually takes me telling the kids one time to get out of the pool and I can't remember the last time I had to fight with my middle child about anything. I will say this, I am a middle child and was fortunate that I was the only boy so I was daddys boy and did not have to fight for attention. My son however has a brother that is 9 months older and a sister that is 1.5 years younger. My youngest son is always being compared to his older brother which is not fair at all. As a result of this I think he will act out once in awhile to get attention but in no way do I feel that this means he has ADHD.
I have added a similar discussion to the ADD forum board titled "ADHD To Medicate or Not To Medicate" inspired by this thread, you may want to add there as well.
Does anyone want to address the topic of the thread? I'm curious what would cause so many parnets to neglect the warning signs and say there is no such thing, or that their child does not have ADD when they clearly do.
Well, I'm not going to read the whole thread so sorry if I repeat something.

1.) The use of Ritalin or CNS stimulants as a child can bar the child from many things later in life, including joining the military, getting in an Ivy League school (not much hope of that anyway) and the like. The child will be branded as having metal issues. This is very real and happens every day.

2.) Not all ADD needs to be medicated, some can be worked out in other ways. I overcame certain deficits by using tricks like memory trees to help me.

3.) The medicated child is often worse then the child left alone. Once you start meds it's difficult to go back.

4.) My brother was ADD (they called it hyper back then) and they put him on Dexedrine (this was a few years ago - as in 1972 or so) One day he was climbing a tree and was very high up. He froze up or passed out and fell out of the tree nearly dying in the process. (I was watching him and as he fell there was no movement from his limbs, he was like a doll) He was in the hospital for weeks. My mother stopped the medication at that point. Was it related? Most likely as it never happened to him again. However, his life has been a very sad thing. In retrospect it would have been better to keep him on the drugs and out of trees.

It's not as cut and dried as people make it. Each camp has their own agenda but like life it's just not that simple.
fastplant,

If you want to call what I am doing "neglect" feel free. I know that my son does not need his medication when he is with me as we are able to stay active and he spends his energy constructively. I also spoke to his pediatrician and she told me if he is fine without it "don't give it to him". Which would be considered neglect in your opinion fastplant, a father that is willing to give his son a chance to prove that he does not NEED medication or a mother that has been shoving it down his throat since he was 4 years old and has NEVER had him re evaluated or taken off of it to see if indeed he does need it? This woman tried to tell me my son had ADHD 2 weeks after we separated! Do you think he might have been acting out due to the absence of his father? Gees people, a drug is easy, being an involved parent is not! Quit making excuses!
[QUOTE=Andocrates]
1.) The use of Ritalin or CNS stimulants as a child can bar the child from many things later in life, including joining the military, getting in an Ivy League school (not much hope of that anyway) and the like.[QUOTE]

What does add/adhd have to do with someone not being able to get into an Ivy Legue college? I'm more than happy to disprove that idea, you'll just have to give me 2 years to finish up HS. *big grin and smile* Well, actually the I.L. schools are the back up schools but thats not the point. Parents either 1)dont believe in add 2)are trying to spare their child from being "labeled" as a "mental case" or someother thing 3) are in denial 4)dont notice the symptoms b/c the chile has had them his/her entire life 6)they have add themselves (undiagnosed i mean) so they dont think that anything is "wrong" 5) or they dont know the symptoms and dont know much about it. That is my humble opinion and everyone is entitled to their own but i experienced this first hand. My mom didnt think that i had adhd because i had good grades and was taking advanced classes, along with many other things. I would think that i would much rather have my child "labeled" adhd than have them drafted in the military and sent overseas, but thats just me. Good luck to everyone with evefything life throws at them! Peace.
Dadwho cares, you mentioned where your new wife helps out with the kids..like reading to them etc.. Does your ex-wife have someone there to help her? I'm just playing devils advocate here. In some post it sounds as if you are probably right but in others you sound very harsh towards your ex..How long have you all been seperated? Maybe shes depressed about you leaving. Hard to be great mom when you feel so depressed. Sorry so many questions but it just seems like some big piece is missing if you and your ex see your son so differently..Does your son maybe resent your ex for the break up so giving her much harder time then he gives you???..You and your ex need to work this out civilized for your sons sake..Ask her to call you when he is giving her hard time or talk to him about being easieer on his mom. Is he treating her bad because he sees or hears other people downing her or her parenting?..Feel free to tell me to mind my own business ;) Just trying to make sense out of it..Doesn't sound like he has a.d.d. but does sound like he needs dad and mom on the same page..
I don't think the problem is with the son being bad to the mother, I think the problem is the mother not wanting or having enough time to spend with the son. That is what I got from dadwhocares posts. Think about it: Attention Deficit Disorder. Yes it means that they have trouble paying attention but think about it this way, maybe these kids just need [B]more attention from others[/B]? That is what I have come to believe, I am not opposed to medicating but I just had to take my daughter off of the medication because I could not stand for her to go through her entire life on medication. And trust me, once they have been medicated it is so hard for them to learn how to control the ADD/ADHD without medication. The doctors had my DD on a 10 year program, that means she would have been taken off the meds at 14 to see if she could do without them. 14, WHAT? That's right about the time kids start to rebel and "know more than everyone else". What a horrible age to try to take her off the meds. I thought about it long and hard and decided if they wanted to try at 14, ugggg, I was going to try now, while she is 9, before puberty. That way she will not feel uncontrollable at such a tender age. And if I were to wait until she was 14 and completely hooked on the meds, then she would more than likely not stay off of the meds very long. This becomes a life long drug because the children never learn that they can control themselves and that this is a gift, not a problem. Like I have posted before:

I found that children who do have ADD/ADHD are very talented. They excel in sports that require a lot of mental attention to details, musical instruments that are difficult to learn such as drums, guitar, violin etc. My daughter and I play chess every morning while we eat our breakfast and though she doesn't seem to be paying attention to the game (looking out the window, playing with the pieces she has taken, or the cereal in her bowl) when it is her turn to move she surprises me by putting me in check, WOW. She is able to do things that I would be distracted by such as doing homework, listening to the radio, watching TV and singing. I check her work and everything is right. Now I see it as a gift, not a disorder.

This is just my [U]humble opinion[/U].
[QUOTE=SpeisFamily]I don't think the problem is with the son being bad to the mother, I think the problem is the mother not wanting or having enough time to spend with the son. That is what I got from dadwhocares posts. Think about it: Attention Deficit Disorder. Yes it means that they have trouble paying attention but think about it this way, maybe these kids just need [B]more attention from others[/B]? That is what I have come to believe, I am not opposed to medicating but I just had to take my daughter off of the medication because I could not stand for her to go through her entire life on medication. And trust me, once they have been medicated it is so hard for them to learn how to control the ADD/ADHD without medication. The doctors had my DD on a 10 year program, that means she would have been taken off the meds at 14 to see if she could do without them. 14, WHAT? That's right about the time kids start to rebel and "know more than everyone else". What a horrible age to try to take her off the meds. I thought about it long and hard and decided if they wanted to try at 14, ugggg, I was going to try now, while she is 9, before puberty. That way she will not feel uncontrollable at such a tender age. And if I were to wait until she was 14 and completely hooked on the meds, then she would more than likely not stay off of the meds very long. This becomes a life long drug because the children never learn that they can control themselves and that this is a gift, not a problem. Like I have posted before:

I found that children who do have ADD/ADHD are very talented. They excel in sports that require a lot of mental attention to details, musical instruments that are difficult to learn such as drums, guitar, violin etc. My daughter and I play chess every morning while we eat our breakfast and though she doesn't seem to be paying attention to the game (looking out the window, playing with the pieces she has taken, or the cereal in her bowl) when it is her turn to move she surprises me by putting me in check, WOW. She is able to do things that I would be distracted by such as doing homework, listening to the radio, watching TV and singing. I check her work and everything is right. Now I see it as a gift, not a disorder.

This is just my [U]humble opinion[/U].[/QUOTE]

You may be on to something; kids may be acting out or crying inside for some attention and instead get the ADD label. It doesn't necessarily mean the parent is bad, just not in turn with their kid. But medication and the "ADD is a mental disease" is the no-fault answer for society, so they buy it. Since most kids with this are like your daughter, full of talent and intelligence, well, I must say that's some "disease" or disorder now, isn't it......
sheezle,
I have been divorced for 6 years and she was the one who left. I have absolutely no feelings for her at all. I am completely indifferent until it comes to my kids. Yes she has a new husband. In fact he was in the kids lives before I was separated from her. I just didn't know it at the time. He is considerably older and they have 2 children together. what seems to be funny to me is that their oldest son is uncontrollable but yet they see no reason to have him tested. It was when we had just separated and she was living with my 3 kids alone that she had my son put on Ritalin. My point has been that when my kids were taken away from me, my son probably acted out and probably WAS hard to deal with, but that does not mean he has ADHD. I have begged her to have him evaluated again but she refuses. He does not act out toward her in a violent way he just refuses to listen to her at times. I have talked to him and told him he needs to respect his mother and I have also suggested that she call me and put him on the phone when he acts out but she won't, she refuses to get me involved when her husband is there. I can say that with all 5 of the kids in the house it is a mad house, and My ex and her husband constantly yell. I believe that my son feeds off of this and it elevates his energy level but there is nothing I can do about that. At my house I NEVER have to yell at my kids. NEVER! I speak stearnly at times but for the most part I talk respectfully with my kids and explain to them why they shouldn't do what they did when they do something wrong. I will tell you that her new husband is always in front of the TV or playing golf. When the kids are at our house we only watch TV on Saturday night when we sit down and eat popcorn and watch a movie with the grandparents. We just don't seem to have time for TV other than that. Finally I don't think we see our son differently, I don't think she sees him at all, with 5 kids how can she?
dadwhocares-- I belive that you are right that your son may not be add afterall. To me it sounds like he was having trouble dealing with his parents splitting up, and now he may even resent his step-father because he feels like he is supposed to take your place and he loves you very much. Every kid has trouble dealing with divorce and their parents dating and getting remarried, especially when they are young. When a childs' parents get divorced there are often symptoms that are similar to add, and im sure you already know that but just go with me here. I dont know what they do when they evaluate younger children, but when i was evaluated the doc asked me about my parents, if i ever thought that they would get back together, how i would feel about them getting remarried, etc, to see how i felt about the situation to be sure that the symptoms werent being caused by something else. I'm not quite sure what im trying to say here, but i feel for you and your son. Best wishes.
dadwhocares-- I'm not saying you're neglecting at all. I'm talking about those parents who say ADD is nonsense and that there is no such thing. And refuse to have their child tested for it.
Hello, I am new to the boards, but I believe to have enough knowledge, and experience to discuss the topic at hand. (Quick background)That is now at the age of 25 reflecting on my childhood/experiences in dealing, and still continuing to dealing with (ADHD/ADD.) I was labeled with having (ADHD) at age 7, and have been introduced to different medications (stimulants) to treat this ailment/ "Gift." Also Being a product of a broken marriage with conflicting parents on the idea of (ADD). Going through the so called "trial and error" process of medications, -therapy, and self understanding to correct this label has been weighing, and helpful at the same time.

Now personal views on the topic- From personal interactions, and in-depth conversation with people (of the same rational /breed.)

I think the answer to this question comes to two basic ideas.

1. some parents do not want to believe, or refuse to believe that thier "own" child (an accomplished bi-product/result of themselves) has a flaw/defect (as viewed by the uneducated majority.) You have to remember this "label" diagnosis (ADD) is fairly new in society, or that is just now being confronted with from a public stand point(Understanding.) Bringing me two idea 2.

2. Understanding- many of these people view this (ADD) as just a bogus diagnosis because they grew up without the advances, and understandings that science/medicine/technology has today. As Society keeps advancing it leans more on convience. On one hand trying to find the so called "quick fix"to lifes problems,and to general living in convience. Thus viewing new tools, medications, ideas, etc. as a want not a need in living. Refering to "these parents."


On the other hand as society grows we as human beings have to grow with it. To make the breed stronger so -to solve it's problems not live them again.
We are becoming so advanced now that many of our ideas are becoming more controversial understandably. We realize that need for convience is maybe growing out of control, but we also have to realize that we have to solve, problems, and underlying ideas not realized before for the better good. Excuse me if that was to in-depth or off the base of the question. That is basic conception, and understanding that I have come to know talking with people of the same views and a little of my two-cents. Spelling is off too. :)
[QUOTE=jeffjordan24]Hello, I am new to the boards, but I believe to have enough knowledge, and experience to discuss the topic at hand. (Quick background)That is now at the age of 25 reflecting on my childhood/experiences in dealing, and still continuing to dealing with (ADHD/ADD.) I was labeled with having (ADHD) at age 7, and have been introduced to different medications (stimulants) to treat this ailment/ "Gift." Also Being a product of a broken marriage with conflicting parents on the idea of (ADD). Going through the so called "trial and error" process of medications, -therapy, and self understanding to correct this label has been weighing, and helpful at the same time.

Now personal views on the topic- From personal interactions, and in-depth conversation with people (of the same rational /breed.)

I think the answer to this question comes to two basic ideas.

1. some parents do not want to believe, or refuse to believe that thier "own" child (an accomplished bi-product/result of themselves) has a flaw/defect (as viewed by the uneducated majority.) You have to remember this "label" diagnosis (ADD) is fairly new in society, or that is just now being confronted with from a public stand point(Understanding.) Bringing me two idea 2.

2. Understanding- many of these people view this (ADD) as just a bogus diagnosis because they grew up without the advances, and understandings that science/medicine/technology has today. As Society keeps advancing it leans more on convience. On one hand trying to find the so called "quick fix"to lifes problems,and to general living in convience. Thus viewing new tools, medications, ideas, etc. as a want not a need in living. Refering to "these parents."


On the other hand as society grows we as human beings have to grow with it. To make the breed stronger so -to solve it's problems not live them again.
We are becoming so advanced now that many of our ideas are becoming more controversial understandably. We realize that need for convience is maybe growing out of control, but we also have to realize that we have to solve, problems, and underlying ideas not realized before for the better good. Excuse me if that was to in-depth or off the base of the question. That is basic conception, and understanding that I have come to know talking with people of the same views and a little of my two-cents. Spelling is off too. :)
[/QUOTE]

Very good. But you missed that the label of ADD as a disease/defect is not the only issue, but that it is also considered a "mental disorder", a bonified mental illness..... disorder being a polite way to say disease, since most people would stomp out of the psychiatrist's office upon hearing "your child is mentally ill". They've covered their bases.

So they say "disorder" and use the words "biological disease like diabetes". Well, diabetes can be biologically tested, confirmed and monitored for correct amounts of medication, all through biological testing. How sloppy it would be to just go by symptoms in diagnosing diabetes? Just as sloppy indicating ADD as strictly biological.

Too many have had success with other means besides meds to confirm that meds are the only way, and some have discovered situational causes as well. I think it's merely a different brain, simular to the left-brain/right brain idea. Different does not merit actual disease.

Frankly, I think it's insulting to label these kids as defective in any way, since the majority of them actually have high IQ's.....what a disease, eh?

Anyway, the label is only a label, thought up by a group of people most of us think have all the answers.
""To make the breed stronger so -to solve it's problems not live them again.
We are becoming so advanced now that many of our ideas are becoming more controversial understandably. We realize that need for convience is maybe growing out of control, but we also have to realize that we have to solve, problems, and underlying ideas not realized before for the better good.""



Excellant point, actually I have seen this very idea in print, also for dream research, how we actually have the ability to problem solve in our sleep by our brain comparing old experiences to new experiences/problems that we are having difficulty in solving.

And yes ADD/ADHD is listed in the DSM. I am grateful that it is listed and so much literature is available. To me it is just an understanding for why people behave in a certain manner, and it also answers a lot of questions for a lot of people and has a dx., a treatment plan, help for those who need it so that they can be treated. Whether or not some want to treat their child or themselves with modern medication is up to the parent or themselves since it is not a life threatening disease......unless of course someone spaces out while driving and.....well I think you get the idea here.

My x husband REFUSES to medicate our daughter while he has her for the day. I count my lucky stars he takes her only once or twice a year at this point. I feel so badly her dad turned out to be so neglectful, but she can remain on the meds while I am giving them to her every morning. When I have to be out of town to my sister's, I call her each day in the morning and remind her...if I come home and they are not taken, I do not drive her to places she wants to go.

We about landed in court over this medication thing. I gathered info from the ped and my attorney for a case so that he would have to give her her Adderall while in his care. I did not win, we never made it to court, the lawyers confered with the Pediatrician and because it is not a life threatening disease, he legally does not have to administer the Adderall and so he did not. SHe would sneak them to his house and take them on her own till he found them and took them away from her. Then she decided on her own not to take them and flunked many classes.

I guess what I am trying to say is that it is the example that we set for our children concerning medication and such that makes the biggest difference. ADD/ADHD is no exception.

To me, it depends on the severity. If my child was suicidal ( life threatening) I would put her on the prescribed medication. Since ADD it is a focusing processing problem, I am going to make sure she has available to her anything that will help her. When individuals are medicated for ADD/ADHD, they learn to process diffferently, more accurately then when not taking it...much research has been wriitten on this. Individuals learn differently when on the meds then off of meds. The brain reacts differently, yeah there are side effects, but I guess it all depends on what you are willing to live with.

Some individuals, like my ex husband, do not believe in any of this, and that is ok. BE it denial, or just personal opinion. Our daughter was adopted so that his decision is not based on his failure to produce a "youngin" with an affliction/disability. I do not know what he bases his decision on. All he ever said to me is that she does not need it. He has no medical background, so I have to assume it is personal preference. It is his daughter too, so while she is with him ( if ever) she does not take it unless she chooses to "sneak it" and then what is that teaching her????!

In a nutshell. I did what I thought necessary to make an educated decision which would be in the best interest of my daughter. If a person opposes that it is their right, just as much a right as those who decide to treat ADD/ADHD the best to their knowledge with the medication,behavioral science,knowledge, and experience available.

jdrkids





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