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I haven't tried the meditation thing but have tried medication to no avail. I've been on Adderall, Dexadrine, and Ritalin and didn't notice a difference with any of them. I'm 48 and still drifting along in life with no purpose. I stayed home with our son and daughter and now our son is out of the house on his own and having problems of his own (we also went through heck raising him), and our daughter also has ADD but at least she's doing okay in college (he flunked out). It's sad, he's smart but maybe will end up like me, but I hope not. My husband and I weren't getting along for the longes time because of having to put up with my ADD ways. I know it's not easy living with me and my messes, temperament, emotional outbursts, depression, losing things, etc. I could almost write a book. I've read several books on ADD and can certainly relate to those people mentioned in the books and see the symptoms of ADD in me, but it's not like they really gave me a solution. I've gone to counselors, psychologists, psychiatrists. Most of those were before I was diagnosed with ADD (only a few years ago). The lady psychologist who diagnosed my ADD has helped me the most, but even so, I'm still getting nowhere. I know my husband gets upset because I haven't been contributing to the household finances and we're getting further and further into credit card debt. We could buy a new car with what we owe, and that's a lousy feeling. I wake up every day thinking what's the point! I just can't figure out what it is I want to do in life. I feel like I'm just taking up space! I even attempted to go to work and signed up with a temp agency a few months ago. They assigned me to a children and youth services office answering phones, typing, making copies, putting calls through to caseworkers, paging them if they weren't in the office, letting people in the door (opened by buzzing them in). I found the job so overwhelming I thought I'd lose my mind. I was supposed to be there for a week or two and ended up there for NINE LONG WEEKS! I was going to my doctor, psychologist, and chiropractor for all of my problems that I was having because of the stress of dealing with the job. I'm not a multi-tasker. The phone rang so much and would interrupt me and I'd get so off-track and get flustered and have what I would call mini-panic attacks where I would sweat and not be able to think or see what was in front of me. It was horrible! I actually hung in there until they did find a permanent worker for the job but don't know how much longer I'd have been able to tolerate it. I'm just starting to get the idea that I'll never find anything! Then when I said to the woman at the temp agency that I didn't want any more jobs answering phones, she made a comment something like, "Oh, then you really only want data entry." Maybe it was just me, but I got the idea that she thought that I was less of a person because I can't even do such a 'simple' thing as answering phones. Well, I don't know if I'd mind one line or not. I had to handle 3 phone lines and would get soooo confused! Anyway, sorry for going on and on, I'm just really at my wit's end and don't know where to turn anymore. Just when I think there's hope, I feel like I'm kicked in the stomach once again. I'm just treading water, not getting anywhere and it's so discouraging to feel this way. Don't feel bad if you don't feel on the right track yet; you certainly aren't alone. The real kicker for me is that I did well in school (probably worked 10 times harder than others), graduated third in my class, and was voted most likely to succeed. Yeah right, like I'm doing that...not! I went to college and graduated with a teaching degree, substituted a few months, hated it, and never did it again. I really do feel like a failure, plain and simple. I hope you have better luck in life than I have had. Maybe you will have better circumstances and opportunities than I have had. If you wouldn't be married, I'd say try to find someone with money (maybe I should have and didn't); that way at least if you don't find anything you like to do, you won't be drowning in debt all your life.

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