It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



ADD / ADHD Message Board


ADD / ADHD Board Index
Board Index > ADD / ADHD | 0-9 A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z


My husband has ADD. I was not aware of this problem until about 7 years ago. We have been married 14 yrs. 2 kids, 13 & 10. Last 5 yrs have really been awful. He is not on medicine. Cant get him to the dr, unless I physically take him, due to his extreme distractions & unrealistic daily goals he feels HAS to be accomplished.
He owns his own tile business. Is absolutly an artist w/tile.....but he never gets to work on time & therefore has to stay late to finish so it will be "quote: worth his time". After his helpers & materials are paid from the job money, he doesnt make a whole lot.........and will SPEND all of it before I even get a chance to pay a bill. (Not to mention his customers are always angry as he is always late to the job (as he has no concept of time).

I have worked full time for 13 yrs as a workers comp adjuster, and my stable job has kept this house a float. This last 5 years have been horrible. Bankrupsy, bills never paid on time, bill collecters calling. We have 2 acres and he has filled it up with tools (that he bought), wires, machinery, truck parts, etc. FILLED our backyard with this junk, so my kids are embarressed to have thier friends come over. Urrrrggghhhh.

He is so popular that people I dont even know...come to our house (on a school night) to see if he has some part for this or that & if he knows how to fix it etc..... and that is it. Me and the kids dont see him for the rest of the night because he will end up working on thier car or something.

He does not go to bed when we do. Stays up all night. Has MAJOR addictive personnality.

He was diagnosed w/Severe Adult ADD 7 yrs ago. He was prescribed RX & he took it for 1 mth. When it was time for f/up with dr for refill......he comes home everyday & forgot to call for appt, etc. If I set the appt, he would forget, etc. As I was working full time......I could not take off & physically drag him there. It has just taken a spiral dive.

The extreme financial difficulties he has created (overspending, etc) has caused extreme stress. I have taken care of the kids, house, bills, everything basically alone. I have gained 60lbs, diagnosed w/anxiety after he sunk his truck in the lake because he was 4 wheeling, & try to maintain a quite, structure house for my children after they get home from school. Do homework, dinner, bed.
Mentally....my health has declined due to the extreme stressful pressures of this household. I had to quite my job at the end of December. We are 2 mths late on mortgage, car pmt, ALL BILLs.

He just continues to go in circles, over & over again.

Bottom line....... There is the most wonderful person, husband, father inside that very distracted person. My 10 yr old daughter is his baby girl. She will take up for him and would be devistated if we moved out away from her daddy. My 13 yr old son can not stand all traffic in the house & would just assume live away from his dad........to have a normal family atmosphere w/out seeing his dad & a friend walking across the backyard to look at some other contraption,junk,motor,tool, that he has brought home from someone else's dumpster. This last 2 yrs he has been saying our house is not homely. Phone rings too much (for his dad), People are always knocking on the door for his dad.

I feel like a bad mother because my kids are having to live in a house where the doorbell is always ringing (Grand Central Station) & dad is always outside talking to friends,clients, or customers, helping them out for free, WHILE WE WOULD JUST LIKE TO SPEND SOME QUALITY TIME TOGETHER.

I do keep the house normal on the inside....no one is allowed inside, because of kids homework & reading & school night. But we all still know they are outside in the garage.
Everyday I watch my husband tell me what all he has to do that day(which is completely unrealistic), and when I tell him what task I feel could wait until another day....he has 1001 million reasons why it has to be done today.

He knows he has ADD, and he always insists things are going to change & he will come home at 6:00 & we can live a more structured life. But he wont go get help.
My whole family just thinks his priorities are messed up & I should leave him. I love this man & it was for better or worse & sickness and in health. But this life is effecting my health now.

QUESTION: IS THERE HELP OUT THERE FOR THESE SITUATIONS?
HAS ANYBODY EVER DONE AN ADULT ADD INTERVENTION?

I seriously think with his extreme symptoms at this point....he needs therapy weekly, if not daily. The more he fails on his job & bringing home money....the worse he gets. Meanwhile, I am trying to save our house & keep elec on.

I NEED HELP!!!! We love him so very much & he loves us so very much. I would hate to have to seperate to keep my health. That would be hard on our kids. But then again....so is leaving at Grand Central Station.

Sorry this is long....but I am so upset & have cried the entire time I have been typing. I would love any suggestions you can give me.

Thank you,
Renee





All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:11 AM.





© 2021 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!