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My little boy is just about to turn 5 in January. When he was a little over 3, a friend of mine who is a social worker in the school system, mentioned that he seems to fall/trip alot, and I may want to call ' community living" to have an assessment done on him. At that time a resource teacher came out and did a series of assessments on him. The term sensory integration disorder came up. Some of it I totally understand and can relate it to him, but some doesn't apply at all. We have always been concerned that he is ADHD, due to the fact that his father was (and still is, but not on meds). I wanted to get him all the help that I could, so that I would be as prepared as I possibly could be once he started school. He has an Occupational Therapist as well as the same Resource teacher. We also went to see a pediatrition last summer just to set up a base to go from. He of course wouldn't make a diagnosis at that time after one visit, but said come back once he gets into school and has social or focus issues.

We put him in daycare to get him use to the routines and when he outgrew that last year, I had him in nursery school for 2 mornings a week. This is where we really realized there were going to be issues. Not sitting at circle, unable to really hold a pencil, slumping under the table at a structured activity. But it was manageable because there was 1 teacher and 1 parent for 10 kids.
This year he is in junior kindergarten. The troubles started week one. He is a very social kid, but lacks the skills to get along. He wants to play with a group of boys, but he runs in slamming into the tower they just built. Or outside he crushes their snow fort. He is very rough out on the play ground and often (especially this last week) jumps on kids. His OT refers to him as a banger and crasher. His body seems to crave that contact. Anyway his teacher talked to me this morning about it, and says that she thinks that he just doesn't get it. I feel that he doesn't go purposefully out of his way to hurt these kids, but it is almost like the impulse takes over and before he knows it all heck has broken loose. THEN he is labelled as a behaviour problem. He seems to almost be able to wipe the slate clean at the end of the day, says to me that he had a great day! I don't think he totally grasps the effect that it has had on other kids.

My DH is totally the same way. He may have a conflict with someone at work, hash it out (sometimes innapropriately) and be done with it. Or possibly not even remember details about it. You can bet that the other person hasn' t forgotten.

Anyway, I just had a really tough day today. I see the struggles that my hubby has. His lack of impulse control made him quit his job in May due to some conflicts that he just couldn't handle anymore. He found some contract work to do thru the summer, but is just now starting a full time position with benefits. We have to leave our home and the town that we love and move 3 hours away to start all over again. I know this can't be good for my son either to be taken away from all that he knows and start again. But I guess I can't dwell on that and have to make the best of a new start. Maybe it will be better where we are going. Bigger town, more resources etc...
I guess I am just saying that my heart breaks for the little boy that sits in my lap at night and asks if he can marry me someday. The little boy who showers my face with kisses and constantly says " I luv you mommy" One on one he does great, not perfect, but manageable. Nothing motivates him either. He doesn't get excited for anything that might make him move faster, get dressed, or behave better. He really just goes about his day, oblivious(sp) to things going on around him. He is making strides at school sitting at circle and sitting at the table. He may still have to sit in the teachers lap though or there is a possibility of him rolling around on the floor. Throw him out into the playground and all heck breaks loose. Whether there is just too much going on or what I don't know. If he were the type of kid that was going to be a loner, it would be so much easier, but all he wants to do is fit in and he has no skills to help him do that. We have been working with him (probably not as much as we should, and believe me I beat myself up over it all the time) to help him along but I feel as though we are moving backwards. I have read all your posts and they are very helpful, especially in understanding my husband. He is a poor communicator, very impulsive, buts into the middle of your sentences when you are talking, as though he was never listening. Has trouble making eye contact with you even when he knows you really well. Mostly for him though it is the social and resolving conflict issues that really get him into trouble. This is something he constantly has to deal with at work. He is one of those super smart people that when you want to know something obscure, you ask him. Top of his field at work, but really a social failure. Don't get me wrong, he does have lots of close friends, but like I said it is mainly work conflicts that get him into trouble and when it happens often enough, his fight or flight instincts kick in and he quits. Aaarrrrggg!!!!

My son is very busy and rough/aggressive. He will roll on my daugheter and when asked to get off, he just keeps it up. Almost like he is just wanting to aggravate her. Which he does and her being the drama queen that she is escalates the situation, until all heck breaks loose. I cant handle the chaos anymore. I already have High Blood Pressure.

Any words of encouragement for a mom and wife who is surrounded by ADHD. I must add that I am the most laid back easy going person, so the activity sometimes overwhelms me. Anyway thanks for listening and letting me vent. Just need to know that someone out there knows what I am going thru. Any words of advice for my hubby. He was on Ritalin from grade 1-8. His mom says it made the world of difference in him, but he describes it as still feeling that everything was chaiotic inside. Can this drug calm your outward appearance, but still leave you whirling on the inside??

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