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That's Thatís interesting what the last poster said about Splenda, I drink diet sodas all the time, I wonder if thatís part of my problem? HmmmmÖmaybe I should cut that out and see what happens?
Anyway back to your question. From what youíve said about your husbandís past, it sounds like he is indeed exhibiting classic signs of ADD (acting out and having problems in school, impulsivity, etc.). At one time, researchers thought that ADD was primarily a childhood disorder, but theyíve now found that in a large percentage of cases it persists into adulthood. The medications prescribed for adults are the same as those for children, though they get a lot more press with kids. I am a 30 year old female on 30/mgs. of Ritalin a day. It doesnít do everything Ė I do not think it would solve your husbandís problems completely, but it might help with some of the frustrations which are unrelated to you that he seems to be taking out on you and it will help him to be less impulsive with his words. So there are a few options. The short acting stimulants are similar to one another and seem to be the most effective for most people. Those are Ritalin, Adderall and Dexadrine. Although they are amphetamine-based medications, in ADD patients they tend to have a calming effect, rather than a "speeding" one that a non-ADD person might experience. The only way I can explain it (based on my own experience) is that the meds allow the brain to focus on one thing at a time, rather than our having to deal with the chaotic, racing, disorganized thoughts that are usual with ADD and extremely frustrating. Then there is a long-acting form of Ritalin called Concerta, which is the same medication but itís time-released over 24 hours. As I mentioned before, Iím thinking about switching to this at some point because the ritalin can give a sort of up and down effect that seems to be increasing for me. Then there is Strattera, which is a non-stimulant med. I donít know much about it, but my doctor has not had much luck with it.
Iím so sorry for what youíre going through! I am also quite sensitive, and my husband sometimes says hurtful things before he stops to think, and it is devastating to me. Iíve reminded him that it is selfish and irresponsible to lash out at someone to appease your own anger, because then that person (me or you) is left extremely hurt by a comment that cannot be taken back. My policy, and I expect no less from my husband, is to take full responsibilty for how I feel. For instance, I will never say "you MADE me angry" because no one can MAKE me feel anything. If I feel angry over something he did, instead I go for a walk or something until I feel calm, then I talk to him to make sure whatever hurt me doesnít happen again. This way I donít say things that I canít take back. Iím sure your husband loves you very much and feels awful about his impulsive words, and he needs to know how much it hurts you. What he is doing is verbally abusing you, and that is not an option in a marriage because left unchecked it will destroy your sense of self-worth and your relationship with him. At the very least, he should treat you with the same respect he would treat a co-worker or acquaintance. You sound like a very nice person, and I really hope that he will start by going to a doctor and talking about this.
Good luck!





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