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Ladies - your husbands may be very angry at their Fathers or Mothers. (Many men have anger issues with their Dads that get suppressed.) They mostly need to learn the source of their anger. Once I learned that, something clicked and I forgave my Dad. Still, I needed meds to keep me rested enough at night and upbeat enough in the daytime to function normally. However, it was definitely understanding my anger's source that made me feel I could stop being angry.

I've provided a chronology of my dosing/recovery history below so you can track how I overcame my anger (rage).

First, some context ...

During extensive counseling (psychiatrist & psychologust), I learned that my anger may have been due to PTSD resulting from an incident where my Dad, a former Marine and very imposing figure, threatened my life while holding a very large knife to my throat.

On my Mom's side, there is a history of mental illness.

During the first few months of my recovery, my wife repeatedly ridiculed me for taking psychotropic drugs and openly dismissed the reality of my diseases. Bad move - very bad move. I never touched her, but I resented that like h*ll. My counselors told me I need to leave due to an unhealthy home environment.

Here's my recovery track ...

1. Sought help at age 49 due to growing inability to concentrate and multi-task, as well as burning rage toward several people who caused me great anxiety on the job. (I began having daily thoughts of harming them, viciously.)

2. Took Burns Anxiety Exam and other tests/questionaires over a 3 month period to distinguish Anxiety Order from ADD, depression from ADD, etc.

3. Attended cognitive therapy (psycholgoist) weekly for a total of one year, including my 3-month testing period.

4. Saw a psychiatrist for 9 months after receiving diagnosis from psychologist (Severe AD/HD and mild O/C - unknown origins/triggers).

5. For two weeks, I took 40 mg of Adderall XR daily. More anger - different thought patterns, for the most part. Mostly anxiety. Completely hyper. It was too much for me - I was way out of control.

6. Adderall XR dose reduced to 30 mg. Took that for one month. AD/HD cleared up, began suffering facial spasms and headaches. Still lots of anxiety.

7. After two weeks taking 30mg Adderall, I was placed on 2mg of Klonopin at nighttime to stop facial spasms and help me sleep. Worked like a charm - anxiety let up. But, I hallucinated/dreamed crazy stuff during first few weeks of Klonopin.

8. About 6 weeks into Adderall XR use period, facial spasms and resulting headaches were returning, though less frequently than before. Daily dose reduced to 15 mg.

9. Used Adderall XR and Klonopin for about a year - became much less agitated over time. The 15 mg dose was less effective for my AD/HD, but it helped me enough so I could cope. Stopped taking my meds due to financial/insurance situation. About 4 months after I stopped, all symptoms returned except constant rage. 6 months after I stopped - rage! Vicious thought patterns, though not as frequently as before. Bad AD/HD and significant depression.

10. Went back on meds - everything is under control again.

Hope this helped in some way.

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