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ADD / ADHD Message Board

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Board Index > ADD / ADHD | 0-9 A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

if you've never read any of my post, i take adderall daily. no more than 40mg a day. i think ive built a tolerance cause now when i take 20mg in the morning, if i dont drink coffee i still feel tired and not wanting to be productive. anyways, thats not my point...

there was one occasion where i was taking a shower, and i was terrified because for some STRANGE reason i felt like i was being watched. i found myself continuously peaking behind the shower curtains & i honestly finished my shower within like 5 mins. fastest shower I HAVE EVER HAD. i wont say what i imagined was behind these shower curtains, because it gives me chills sitting here and having a mental picture of it in my head. makes me want to start crying ([B][U]note[/U][/B]:[B] i didnt actually see or feel anything physically there, mentally i felt like there was something present[/B]).

[U]something else scary[/U]: there has probably been at least once a week where ill go to bed, and im paranoid. ill be ready for bed, and ill turn off my floor lamp, and then just lay there. but im afraid to close my eyes, but im also afraid to open them because im scared there will be something in front of my face. this has only happened on nights i went to bed late, around like 2 am. if i go to bed before midnight i have no problem with turning out the lights and going to sleep.

there was one occassion where i actually left my floor lamp on the entire night because i was too freaked out to sleep in the total darkness. i woke up probably about 20 times that night, but i was able to drift back to sleep easily. lastnight i got in bed about 11 pm. i was yawning, tired and everything. but i started to watch the tyra show and ended up staying up until 1. well when i went to turn off my tv (all the lights were already off) i found myself.... begging myself to turn it back on. so i layed there, until 4 am watching music videos. the only reason i think i even fell asleep was because i took a PM tyenole (i dont know how to spell that!).

so i dont know whats going on, but i am 20 years old and i have never been afraid to sleep in total darkness or felt this kind of fear. there have been hundreds of times where randomly i would walk into a room at our house and feel something present and sometimes i would continue getting what i went in there for but other times i had to litterally turn around and walk out of the room but that never terrified me... this has come to the point that when i lay there in the dark, my mind sits there and starts thinking of all these things that could happen, for example... if "somebody" started moving the blanket, or turn on the TV, or touch my hand, or make random sounds, or do something to pyhsically hurt me... and I KNOW THATS CRAZY! but these things are running through my head...and thats why i find myself.. begging myself to turn the light back on.

i dont know if this is anxiety, paranoia, or maybe even hallucinations... i dont know what. i do know that whatever this is going on- i am terrified. does anybody have a clue? the only person ive talked to about this is an ex bf because i know hes not going to judge me. so please, if you have any ideas post a reply! the reason i mention adderall is because this didnt start happening to me until a past few months, ive been taking adderall since jan. do you think its an affect from this med. or am i possibly having some kind of mental attack?

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