It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....

ADD / ADHD Message Board

ADD / ADHD Board Index
Board Index > ADD / ADHD | 0-9 A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Addprogramer....thanks for your very informative post. Like Frazzled, I would like to educate myself about the varying meds so that IF the doctor diagnosis our daughter we will be well informed as parents to make a final decision with him. We have an evaluation set for July 20th for my 18 year old daughter and since we are somewhat concerned about her susceptibility to Bipolar (being that her younger sister has been diagnosed with both ADD inattentive & Bipolar), I am of course very concerned about the induced mania issue especially since my younger daughter experienced that when put on Zoloft, a SSRI which poses the same risks of triggering mania in an undiagnosed BPer. However, in my younger daughter's situation it made it much easier for the doctor to diagnose BP. I will of course see what the psychiatrist recommends and will of course share my concerns with him regarding this.

I am also concerned about my daughter's susceptibility to drug abuse, first because alcoholism and addictions run on both sides of our family and second, my daughter has been using alcohol and pot since the age of 14. I am pretty sure she is self medicating but am not going to bury my head in the sand and make excuses but that is my motherly instinct.

So.....with that being said I think I would be more comfortable with a non-stimulant medication such as Strattera. What are your thoughts about that one??? And are there any others that you would suggest with what I have shared with you concerning my daughter's predisposition to Bipolar as well as addictive problems.

I appreciate your advice and look forward to anything you or anybody else has to share regarding medication choices.

Frazzled....I am glad that I am not the only one here standing in LIMBO and hope that both of us will see some positiver results once our daughters are porperly diagnosed and treated.

Hope things have calmed down and that you get your answers soon. I am only a few steps behind you.;)

(((((HUGS))))) ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
Addprogrammer....I could use a crash course in ADD meds 101!!! You seem to extremely knowledgeable and I am sure that Frazzled is in need of this as well. If you could give us a basic rundown with the pros and cons I would appreciate it.

Also...what if I opted NOT to medicate my daughter if she were diagnosed with ADD/ADHD??? I do not advocate that for everyone but my daughter is quite functional....she works a full-time job during the summer and has held jobs since she was 14 years old balancing that with her studies and still getting GREAT grades. Alot of her dorm mates were on academic probation whereas she made the Dean's List. Her employers seem to love her....the problem I see with her is her impulsivity, lack of good judgement that often land her in trouble. As a matter of fact, we just got a letter from the court out of state after her arrest for underage drinking while living with my brother (that she said wouldn't be a problem and would most likely be dropped) asking for a signature waiving a court hearing before a jury of her peers and a deposition will be asigned to her by the court to be followed. Granted this was over a year ago and she hasn't had any problems with the law since we still do worry. And as I have shared, she does drink and party more than we see as normal....she never comes home drunk or trashed but I have seen pictures she has downloaded on our computer with her passed out on the floor, in a bathtub, or in a closet. So these things do concern me. My gut instinct tells me that it is secondary to something else whether it be ADD or Bipolar....that she is self-medicating or acting on impulsivity.

I so appreciate your input as well as others here. I just would like to well prepared as a mom when it comes time that the doctor discusses the various options and am sure Frazzled wants that too.

Frazzled....I am sorry that your daughter is acting the way that she daughter does the same when confronted or caught in the wrong. She doesn't face up to it and twists it around to make me or my husband to be in the wrong and not taking responsibility for her wrongdoing. I have a feeling that your daughter does the same. With all that we have been through with our younger daughter, my hubby and I learned that the worse thing is to not be united as a front thus allowing them a loophole to get through and not face up to what they have to do in order to accept the help that they need. Your husband MUST stand united with you in order to best help your daughter.....bailing her out is not going to help. If she does something wrong she must be held accountable....ADD or not there is not excuse. When it comes to the law she will not be able to use ADD as an excuse nor should she within your household.

Hang in handle stress so much differently than we do. Sounds like your hubby is having a difficult time with all of this and probably needs time to digest everything and then work on realizing as parents you need to stick together in order to do your best.

Sending you lots of ((((HUGS))) ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
Karen ~ I just came across your newest post that you must have posted while I was writing. want the jest of it....our household for the past 4-5 years has been a minefield!!! Everything you describe regarding lies and manipulation well we have had more than our share of that. There were times that if they weren't my own flesh and blood I would have left just to keep my own sanity.

Now...our younger daughter is so much better now since she has been diagnosed and treated. Hubby and I went through family therapy and learned that alot of the problem was our not standing united. AND....issuing consequences that we could follow through with. Once we got on the same page our daughters had no power....alot of the time they would pit one of us against the other and they knew that emotionally they could hurt me more so they were like vipers and would say and do things while hubby wasn't around only to have him walk into the door with cat fights going on. They were in mission mode doing everything and anything to get their way.

But things are much better....with the therapy we have received it has not only helped us with our younger daughter but also with our older one.

Now as far as what you describe, Karen, I see your daughter playing you....she is being all nice and calm so long as she sees that things are going her way. Once she heard Strattera she had a problem....and you KNOW her past with Adderall and it is only right that you have your concerns. I can't help but think that she has an alterior motive here....I may be off but from my experience whenever something doesn't go their way they go back to their nasty behavior trying to wear you down until they do get their way. Your daughter was doing okay once she knew that she was going to be evaluated for ADD. But she is upset about the way things are proceeding....I just get a very uncomfortable feeling here and KNOW that I will most likely be experiencing the same with my daughter once we go for her evaluation.

I could be wrong but I would say go with your gut feeling....our instincts as moms are usually pretty good.;)

I know that adrenalin rush that keeps us from sleep....but I have learned that we have to do like they say on the plane....put the oxygen mask on ourselves before we can help our children. Remember that!!

(((HUGS))) ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
ADDprogrammer ~ thanks for your insight. Yes, I have alot of sleepless nights but am doing the best that I can. With alcoholism/addictions on both sides of the family I KNOW and always have known my daughters would be at great risk. We have always shared with them our concerns regarding their genetic predisposition...thing is, I have two brother in laws who have been in and out of rehabs all of their lives as well as jail and I am convinced that they were Bipolar and never diagnosed/treated. My father in law is a dry alcoholic and my maternal grandmother was an alcoholic and in psychiatric hospitals for manic with that history I have always had concern for my girls.

My older daughter worries me the most regarding the addictions......even knowing our family history she still chooses to drink and experiment with drugs. I have told her that she is playing a game of Russian Roulette....that one day it will all catch up with her and ruin her life. She is 18 and pretty much on her is so difficult to do anything other than I have done short of locking her up and that is something I cannot do. Sometimes it feels as if I can only save one of my girls....the younger one I still legally have a say in her health care and am doing my darndest to get her stabilized....but I don't want to give up on my older one. Her asking for help could be a Godsend or a way for her to just manipulate the system and me as well. She has a way of doing that....there is alot of good to her but I am so worried that this will not be a phase and could worsten.

I know that you understand my concerns and I thank you for your support.

I will look further into the meds and appreciate your sharing what you could with me & Karen.

~ Goody:angel: :wave:

No, we don't have the prescription yet for Strattera. My husband made the appointment today with the family doc and the soonest they could get my daughter in was Wednesday. I see that kjrunner experienced great fatigue with Strattera. My daughter sleeps enough as it is (but not diagnosed with depression)...that wouldn't be good for her, especially if she's heading back to school. Addprogrammer has mentioned a couple of times, I believe, about getting through the "first couple of weeks" with the drug. Bob, could you be more specific regarding the side effects of Strattera that you were talking about? And finally, I do plan on distributing the meds to my daughter. She has a history of not remembering to take her allergy shots, and other medication and then complaining that nothing is working! I know that is part of the ADHD so I'll administer the drug until it starts working and then maybe she can remember to take it herself?!?!?!


Please don't call me Goody/Bob. It is not cool for a guy to be called a goody. Baddy Bob we can do. :D Damn TID's still at work.

Ok, let me try to get serious here because you ladies have a very serious problem on your hands. Me and kjrunner are close psychological twins. OK, she's smarter, but we've established that the gals rule the roast on this broad. Good to see Rheanna back in play. Let me tell you I am an experienced ADHD practictioner, that sort of means that I know what I am talking about, sort of. Point is Rheanna's posts nail topics with zero error tolerance.

Here is a suggestion: Rheanna, Callista, and kjrunner get in the brain biz. Help a few people and make a few bucks to boot. I'm like shrinks, I expect to get paid for my work. I guess I'm evil too. All three elucidate brain abstractions that my stoggy 55 yo brain can't easily wrap around better than any book written by a "professional." There is something to be said (negatively) about people that don't have the bear by the tail telling people that have the bear by the tail how to manage said bear. Know what I mean?

Incidently, Karen, I'll get to the point. I got up very eary this AM. You and Shuz's made me go to bed too late, (a classic it's all your fault ADHD ploy) read Amen's book "Healing ADD." per kjrunner's recommendation. That is the book that uncovers all my old tricks. One of my favorite old trick was starting arguments because agreeing is boring. I guess it is not quite as bad as starting a war to liven things up, but I tell you true, I came close on numerous occasions. Anything ring bell with daughters situation?

What the heck am I talking about. Yes, my meds have pooped out. My ADHD brain is straining to keep the thread. Normally I'd edit a tangental ramble such as this but I am not so you can see one of the things ADHD does to me. Tangents And Arctangents And Digressions so off topic that what does this have to do with the price of gas. Put this unmedicated brain in a classroom where no one "believed in" ADHD or even heard of ADHD for that matter and my handle became StupidProgrammer. I know I sound stupid but I am not stupid I am ADHD.

I am amazed at how early what we are presents itself. Want to know what I daydreamed about in high school when I was suppose to be listening? Logic gates. Logic gates are transistor arrangements in our CPUs. The CPU in our computers not head. Ok, I'll come clean, I daydreamed logic gates .009 per cent of time. I was a teenage boy. Do you know what teenage boys think about 99.991 per cent of the time? :D Yeah, you do. Keep those bad doggies away from daughter till worthy wolf turns up. I designed logic gates because I couldn't come up with a meg and third bucks for a Univac. The thing was a piece of crap anyway.

I tell you some good news about daughter.

1. She can beat everyone to the finish line. Her problem my problem, don't ask us how we got there. If creativity is rapid problem solving like rapidly solving software abstraction problems, I am creative. Per Callista. I see how to do it first. I know how to do it first. I just can't do it first because once problem is solved it's boring and writing code is boring as can be. I am working on someone else doing the writing again.

2. Your daughter is a born leader. She doesn't follow rules, she makes them. Harness and control that and she'll fly. Don't stick a round plug in a square hole. College is cool. Some crafts can't be learned any other way. But if said craft is not ADHD friendly it is going to end in disaster - per kjrunner. The thing I like about higher education is getting a broad knowledge of everything. We may part paths here but my experience is higher education does not guarantee higher income. One third of all college grads work at jobs not even remotely related to their degree. The ticket to making dough is two fold. 1. Do what you enjoy doing because that is what your good at. 2. Make sure first that what you enjoy doing is something people are willing to buy. If daughter and college are bad mix, point her to good mix. Bill Gates quite college. He is able to make a living.

Now, finally, Baddy Bob arrives.

RE: [I]I see that kjrunner experienced great fatigue with Strattera. My daughter sleeps enough as it is (but not diagnosed with depression)...that wouldn't be good for her, especially if she's heading back to school. Addprogrammer has mentioned a couple of times, I believe, about getting through the "first couple of weeks" with the drug. Bob, could you be more specific regarding the side effects of Strattera that you were talking about? [/I]
Don't have to be more specific. Same thing. I couldn't stay awake. I did stick with it and after a few weeks the fatigue cleared up and yep, not a half bad ADHD med. The intolerable problem for me was things that are suppose to happen when two people are married weren't happening. I'll give up a lot to conquer ADHD but not that.


Another "thing" about ADHD is how we read. We cheat. I ask myself at a subconscious level what is this about. I target that. Once I think I got it I stop reading. I rarely read more than 50% of the words. That caused a major factor you revealed to fall through the cracks. Your daughter is managing life pretty well, if you ask me. I doubt if her ADHD goal is to party less. Only four parties a week? Either everyone in the sixties was ADHD (and that is possible) or four parties per week is three parties short for an 18 yo. I am not saying its good. Teens have been known to do dumb things. I just don't think its ADHD.

It could be that your best med choice is no med. Your daughter and I differ at a fundamental level. I couldn't do the work. I wanted to but couldn't. She can and does. I don't think she'll come away with bozo level self-esteem like I did. I'm sure you know, but just in case, low self-esteem is the worse ADHD consequence. Low self-esteem makes life miserable. And it is irreconciable. I know I am not stupid but I'm stupid so I must be stupid. Then we set goals and self expectations accordingly. Why not become a dope fiend. At least I'm good at that. I'm not kidding. Low self-esteem does things like that.

You gals aren't going to MAKE ME stay up late again. Out of here.


Here is what he said: [COLOR="Red"]What is worse? The risk/side-effects of the med or the disorder? [/COLOR]

The decision became simple. Wife was crying - daily. She knew and I knew if I didn't start functioning real soon, we were going to lose it all. I said "yes" to drugs.

I can't do better. Your daughters are facing an addiction risk. Damn, that is bad. Your daughters are facing a life of misery, underachivement and drug addiction if their ADHD isn't managed.

Which one's worse?

My take, easy to make, because I don't get to live with the consequences, is: Do everything you can to mitigate the addiction risk. And get your daughters well.


PS I don't mean to discourage you, but I am so glad I am not in your shoes. I would never sleep again, ever.[/QUOTE] Bob ~ The question you ask in this post is exactly what I asked myself when having to choose whether to put my younger daughter on an antipsychotic with many potentially harmful side effects. The psychiatrist helped put my concerns to rest by tellling me that there would be a greater risk of harm to daughter leaving her unmedicated than any drug that would ever be perscribed for her.

Also, with my younger daughter the decision to medicate was so much easier, she was cutting herself and had attempted suicide twice, was arrested for shoplifting and running away from home putting herself into dangerous situations....all at the age of 14. However, with my older daughter she is quite functional and getting great grades in college and has been working jobs ever since she was able to work a job. And her employers love her!! So it makes it even more difficult for me to KNOW what to do for her in terms of medicating vs. unmedicating if ADD/ADHS is what is diagnosed. I don't want to open up a whole can of worms here because like you say, the bottom line is which is worse the side effects of the med or the disorder.

I am taking your advice to heart....I am a mother who doesn't like to be put in the situation of making the WRONG decision and this is just one of those times that is so scary.

I am going to open up another thread to discuss some other concerns that I have that don't have to do with meds. I am sure that I can count on you and the others here to guide me along the way and thank you for all of your wonderful advice....that goes for you Rheanna, kjrunner and Karen too for sticking it out as I share my concerns here.

~ Goody, not so baddy:angel: :wave:

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:21 AM.

© 2021 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!