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Re: Adderall Abuse
Jul 23, 2007
Dear Bob, Karen & ADD_Slacker ~ I just would like to thank each and every one of you for taking the time to share with me your experiences and thoughts.

Bob, as always you are of great wisdom and seem to have a great way of using all your insight and knowledge and firsthand personal experience to help others. I have been so impressed with your posts which have helped me to see things clearer, or at least try to, and help me think through what I need to do to best help my daughter. I have been torn between trying to decipher whether there is a biological component or just willingful behavior with some immaturity and defiance in partaking of risky and impulsive behaviors without foreseeing the consequences. The genetics certainly aren't in our favor with addictions on both sides of the family and Bipolar on one. In fact, I am almost convinced that my two brother in laws who are both presently incarcerated after a life of rehabs and drug use and incarcerations either had ADD or BP that went undiagnosed. And I certainly don't want my daughter to become a statistic.....I want to make sure for future generation's sake, that we nip this in the bud. daughter and I spoke this morning after things simmered down. I told her that I really needed for her to be straight with me, that I wasn't sure that she was self medicating or just going for the high. She yelled at me for always thinking that something had to do with something being wrong...that college kids use drugs and that she wasn't as bad as others and everybody did it & that I was crazy to want to drug test her. Not too encouraging since it leads me to believe that she really doesn't see a problem.

I told her that one of three things were going on, that she had ADD or BP which drove her to self medicate with drugs and alcohol since the age of 14 or that she had an addictive personality that would potentially have her lose everything that was going good in her life as well as kill her and that scared her parents very much. That we didn't want her to end up like her two uncles......she got angry at my even making the comparison saying that she was doing GREAT in college and working 40 hours a week in a job that would be great for her future while her uncles weren't ever able to do that. She refused to talk about it anymore.

You bring up indicator lights....this is where my uncertainty daughter manipulates and lies constantly and is never straight with us. Like you say, Bob, she schemes. If she wants something she basically does everything she can do to get it.

Remember that kitten??? I found out that her story of finding it abandoned was a lie....she actually was up at the grocery store and a family was looking for homes for kittens and she wanted one and brought it home fabricating this story of how she had to save it from wandering the streets. This isn't a single incident, this has gone on for years and I really can't trust what she says which is sad.

If she were to take a ADD test I am afraid that she may not even be honest if she wants to get the meds to get high. It seems that her indicator light is saying that there isn't anything wrong but that doesn't only go for drugs and alcohol but also for other impulsive and risky things that she does. On the other hand my daughter has very rarely admitted that she was wrong....we have the blame game and she is way too proud to admit that she did wrong. When she got suspended from school and arrested last year she didn't see anything wrong with it because other kids did as well and it was only her first time. She didn't see what a sacrifice it was on our part for me to go rent a motel room when my brother couldn't take it anymore so that she could graduate high school leaving my other daughter who was just being diagnosed with BP and had a second suicide attempt, behind with my husband who had to work. So the indicator light could be well hidden as you say.

So....still, I don't know what to do....testing her will allow me to see whether she is using the Adderall...she knows that she has everything that she wants to lose if she tests positive. If I see her grades slip and more lack of concentration as a result and her drug testing negative it may warrant another evaluation. But as you all say, another evaluation wouldn't be fruitful unless A) she is drug free and B) she is willing to admit that something is off and asks for help.

Hubby and I decided that we will allow her to go start bringing stuff to the house she is going to lease which will be ready August 1st. If she gets together a few times with her roommates the chances of her using Adderall are greater than keeping her home and not seeing her friends for a month 9her punishment for breaking into our secondary home without our permission and throwing a party for the 3rd time). That way if there is a problem we will know before she is due to go back to college and be able to act before losing a load of money. I would hate to do that because she has a big internship at a casino resort as part of her curriculum....she is a hard worker and has done well in the work world and from an academic standpoint. But to need drugs to do it....something is wrong.

Slacker ~ thanks for sharing your story....the meds that you have mentioned I have tucked in the back of my mind if it comes time to medicate. I feel as if I am in a Catch 22 allow her to go undiagnosed and seek out ways to self medicate and get further on the road of addictions and ruin her chances of continuing college when she tests positive OR to proactively find out if there is an underlying condition taking the chance that she will "snow" the professionals and get her pescriptions for drugs to get high on. If she didn't lie, scheme, manipulate and deceive it would be easier to get to the root of all of this.

Thanks for listening.....Bob, I really appreciate the request to up my handle to "Superb2Shuzs":D .....that is such a huge compliment thrown my way and makes me want to keep on doing what I'm doing hoping that it will keep my daughter on the road to a safe and drug free future. I have a feeling that is exactly what you hoped to accomplish!!;)

I will keep you posted...and I soo appreciate all the time that you all spent helping me.

(((((HUGS)))))) ~ Goody who met some "superb" friends here!!:angel: :wave:
Re: Adderall Abuse
Jul 27, 2007
Indiana Dave ~ Thanks so much for your supportive and comforting post.....I so appreciate it. Somehow I only hope that this all will come to pass and that my daughter will eventually put into action all that we have taught her. In the interim I will do whatever I can do to keep her safe and well realizing that I am quite limited now that she is 18. I just pray that she will be able to recall some of what we have taught her in her time of need.

Bob ~ I have to admit that sometimes it seems like all we do is focus on the bad with our daughter but unfortunately that is all that we seem to see lately. She brought that up and I sat down with her and pointed out how each and everytime that she had accomplished something good in her life that we were there celebrating the event proudly as her parents....always praising her and would always do so. And that if it felt like all we did was address the bad well perhaps there was more bad than good going on in her life and it was time to look at that. She works 40 hours/week and is responsible in terms of doing her job and we tell her how great that is going to be for her future. She shares with me how people at work like her and I tell her that she is a likeable person. And that I don't ever want her to lose everything that she has going for her over some bad decision that she makes.

Today she got a call from a resort/casino that she applied to for an internship in the fall semester as part of her curicullum saying that she got one of the 5 spots available. She is thrilled and looking very much forward to that. She is going to share a house with 4 other girls when she returns to college and I am quite nervous about that hoping that she will not do anything to ruin all that she has got going on for her.

We still are testing her for metamphetimines.....she intends to move some of her things into the house next week and spend a few days and I figure when she returns it will be the best time to test her.

Bob ~ I also read alot about Dr. Amen and his SPECT scan and ability to diagnose ADD by the 6 types and how the person fits into them. I would like to look further into that, however, if my daughter's indicator light is not in the right mode I don't think it would benefit her to have her evaluated at this time until it changes and she matures....what are your thoughts on this??? If you could look back to when your indicator light was saying that there wasn't a problem would it have helped if your parents insisted that you be evaluated???

Just doing my planning ahead to see what the best thing to do for my daughter would be.

Thanks again for the wonderful support.

~ Goody:angel: :wave:

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