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I am so tired of people saying that Ritalin is not addictive. I have been to six rehabs to try and kcik this drug and nothing seems to work!

This hell began about four years ago when my doctor prescribed the drug for me. I took a low dose for about a year and I had no problem. I would not take the drug on the weekends and at that time my body seemed fin without it.

The trouble began when I read a magazine article about teenagers crushing and snorting the drug. The article also stated that the powder gives you a "rush" like speed or other amphetamines.

So, I tried it and loved the euphoric feeling it gave me. From that minute on I was hooked. I began to snort up to 200mg a day. Sometimes I would go over this limit. I had to have it the second I woke up. OVer the years my tolerance built up and I could not go without the drug for 15-30 minutes without getting irratible uncomfortable. At this time I was seeing three doctors so I could keep a supply. I was averageing 90 20mg tabs in 4-5 days.

Finally, fear of a heart attack or stroke made me admit to my doctor what I was doing. He suggested I go into the hospital for detox and then go to a residential treatment center for 30 days. I took his advice.

I could not handle the depression that ensued.Once the drug cleared my system I became so weak and suicidally depressed. I would sit around and cry all of the time. It was total hell. The crazy thing is that I went through this scenario six times. After all these rehabs I could not kick the drug. Nothing seemed to help. I could not handle life without feeling "sped up."

Today, I take an anti-psychotic, two anti-depressants and a mood stabilizer. I really messed up the biochemistry of my brain and exacerbated my pre-existing depression. I also take one Concerta a day which is the time release form of the drug. My husband keeps them and rations them to me daily. I no longer snort the drug, but I do not know if I will be Ritalin-free.

It angers me that this issue is not discussed more often. I have read many posts from other ADD/ADHD and health forums stating that the drug is non-addictive and not an amphetamine. This is false information. I really think more people suffer the same problem, but do not admit it.

Hope this helps someone and prevents them from going down the same path I did.

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