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so i've struggled with addiction pretty much all of my life. im 23 and have a 2 year old and a great fiancea, well my doctor put me on ritilan for about 6 months now this is after i got off pain meds that i really struggled with for years and got on suboxone, just put it this way i have my good days and bad days. but alot better than back then. anyways ever since then ive had no motivation no drive nothing that gives me excitement. my mother has terminal cancer and im pretty much her caretaker its really hard shes the only help i really have well can relie with my daughter so pretty much its just me and her dad never getting time at all to our selfs.

i recently switched from ritilan to adderal im taking 20mg 3 times a day effexor xr 75 mg once a day and xanax 3 times a day as needed. the ritilan was extremely too strong it made me feel almost crazy sometimes and i had to take way to many xanax when i was on the ritilan,, just to calm me down. the adderall is much different i feel calmer, more confident i think anyways, for about 4 months when i was on the ritilan xanax effexor all i did was lay in the bed watch tv, at that time the reasturant i worked at closed for winter and the only time i left the house waas if i had some strong drugs or when id drive my mom to her oncology appointments.

now im not sure if its in my head but i seem to be different, even my fiancea has told my mom that theres a difference in me, he ended up leaving because of my depression, unmotivation, negativity, it was like there was a storm over my head and it would not go away.

since he left it was kinda a wake up call and i dont want to lose him so i did switch to adderal and does it sound to anyonr like the adderal is making the difference?

also i have another question, im taking 20mg 3 times a day and ive found that i have to take 2 pills in the morning to even get going then i have a long day so im taking about 80 mgs a day and that seems to do the best, i can go right to sleep on the stuff, not with the ritilan the ritilan was so much stronger do you think that its going to make me need a higher dose of adderal,

ive got a dr. apt next week that i made should i just straight out ask him to up me to the 30mgs or what, i dont want him to take me off hes kinda a a hole sometimes, he tried to get me to take wellbutrin one time whats that for does it help with energy? im also starting school soon and will be working and taking care of my family and my mom, so my days dont end or will not end till ten or eleveen? what do i do?

please someone anyone with any advice anyone with similar experience please write back. thanks for reading felt good to get some stuff out just hope someone answers:confused:

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