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My problem has been energy, motivation and completing tasks. In 20 years, I can only remember finishing half a dozen books -- yet I love books and continually find myself drawn to them. I have a huge collection! Unfortunately, once I crack one open I almost immediately lose interest and just forget to come back to it. The funny things is that I continually tote them around in my bag with me as well.

I do not have problems with severe agitation or anxiety, although I'd say my life circumstances bring about a certain level of anxiety that makes sense. What I'd give to be able to get up in the morning and feel excited about doing something or finishing something.

Over the years, I have been on Strattera and Adderall for brief periods of time. Also tried Ritalin. The problem is that these medications made me very anxious, and still didn't help the problem. I felt worse on them.

I have a history of clinical depression, but now it seems that this was at least partially the result of thyroid problems. I also had cancer in my late teens, and had my spleen removed. It was all downhill after that as far as energy goes, and getting older hasn't helped.

As a result of the radiation I had to treat my cancer, my thyroid went underactive and I've been on supplement ever since (synthetic). Recently, however, I found out that the synthetic supplement was probably at the root of some of my problems -- for reasons that are very complicated (you can read Stop the Thyroid Madness and Hypothyroidism Type 2 if it interests you). But in a nutshell, I'm on my second month of an entirely new apprach to thyroid supplementation. This all came about because I had to have my thyroid removed six months ago due to multiple nodules (none of which turned out to be malignant). Since that time, life has been hellish to a large extent, because I'm so fatigued and the motivation issue got worse.

It can take a long time to balance the thyroid levels, but at the core, I feel that I still have some kind of attention issue. Even as a kid I had a hard time reading and focusing on certain things. Yet, some things completely engross me -- like certain puzzles or computer games. I wonder why I can do those things but not other types of tasks that simply feel "icky" when I try to take them on? My list of uncompleted projects and tasks is lengthy.

As I was trained as a mental health clinician, I do have a good deal of knowledge about brain and behavior issues. It's ironic though, because I've always struggled with this -- yet I've been a great student. What most people don't understand, however, is that I learned a formula for how to "do" school -- as opposed to actually learning the reading material. I'm a great skimmer, but I have a terrible memory for things unless I can operationalize them.

I'm sorry for all this detail, but I hope it sheds some light on where I'm coming from.

I'm just wondering if Vyvanse might be the answer. I have a great psychiatrist who's very good about listening to me. I have not been only any psych meds for a long time, but I am open to trying this.

Thanks!





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