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You don't need to worry about sounding negative, they were suggestions, nothing more. :) It takes a good deal more than telling me you've tried my suggestions before and they don't work to offend me.

In so many ways you're me, plain and simple, we're peas in a pod. I wasn't able to function any better than you are until I was medicated, and it took a while to find the right medication. I'm just now beginning to get things together in what I hope is a more permanent way, taking it slowly this time, rather than assuming I could change everything overnight. I've accepted outside help for the first time, in the form of a psychologist, and I'm taking everything slowly in hopes of staying at it.

Trust me, I've got files, I've got mail trays, I've got bulletin boards, calendars, accordion files, daytimers, pdas, binders, duotangs, post it notes, you name it, none of it worked until I got help. I'd clean things up and get organized one day and plan out how I was going to keep things that way, and a few days later I was back to the status quo. My finances are terrible, and I'm grossly overweight because 'just this once isn't a problem, I'll be good tomorrow.' I've had cops at my door because I forgot to go to court, I've missed meetings, I've missed appointments, I've been trying, off and on, to get my bachelor's degree since 1993, and still don't have it. I had good success early on with my medication, but in true ADHD fashion, I tried to do too much, overwhelmed myself and crashed.

In my opinion, you really need to cut back on the meds. You can't jump into these meds at such a high dose. The irony of ADHD meds is that the right amount can make you much, much better, while too much can actually make things worse, they can magnify your symptoms. Take a day off from the Adderall and call the doctor to see if you can get a scrip for 10mg instead of 20. You can work up to 20 in a week or two if 10 isn't working for you. Just so you understand how much you're taking, 40mg (that is what you were prescribed, if I recall, 20mg twice a day) is the maximum recommended dosage for treatment of ADHD. The dose can go higher, up to 60mg is recommended for treatment of narcolepsy, and your doctor can prescribe more at his or her discretion, but I feel that jumping from nothing to the maximum recommended dosage not only goes against established procedures, but doesn't give you the opportunity to evaluate smaller doses.

As to an ADHD coach, I have no first-hand experience, so I'm not the right one to do the hard sell. I've been thinking of getting one myself, but I can't afford it until I'm done with the shrink. Until then, I'm working from ADHD self help books, taking my meds and working with my shrink.

Believe me, I feel your frustration. I've been in the same boat all my life. Up until I got on my current medication regime, I was convinced that I was broken in some way that was unfixable, I was wrong.

You're right, you're not hopeless. Keep working and you will get this under control. Think about what I said about the meds, too much can be worse than too little. It may be that Adderall isn't the right med for you, but it's going to be hard to tell until you give a lesser dose a shot.

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