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My husband of 20 years, at the age of 44, has serious behavioral issues that are affecting his family and now his job.

Let me first tell you...

We have four children, all with ADHD/ADD, and our oldest, who is 16, is autistic. 3 kids have sensory issues. Me-other than trying to keep my sanity, there aren't any mental issues, just physical (fibromyalgia).
My husband is a self-employed accountant within a firm. Over the past years, mostly because of the economy, his income loss is at 40%. We are in financial turmoil like many people right now. So the added stress is bringing out the worst, though these behaviors have always been there, especially at home, just heightened now and last month, brought into his workplace.

My question:
Does child-like behavior, compulsiveness, and burst of anger sound like ADHD in an adult?

I have always said that my husband is a ToysRUs kid! Remember the tune?
...Always rolling down the parking lot on the grocery cart with or without kids in it...Lying down on his back while dropping our sons matchbox car in his mouth and chipping his front tooth...doing stunts with his Durango with one or both my sons in the car...
In the early years of our marriage, in our 20's, if my husband didn't win a board game, or it was going poorly for him, he would completely trash the game, even in front of my parents! These are just a few examples. There are many more, that thankfully, I have forgotten.

My husband is strongly opinionated. It's either his way, or no way. He has no modesty when speaking his opinion.
As I am typing this, I fell like I am dishonoring him by posting all this, but now as I do, I cry. :( -Yesterday, I warned my 11 yr old daughter that her Dad was in a bad mood, and she said "What else is new." I am very heavy hearted over the poor example and of the loving father they don't have. I am longing for a loving supportive husband. If ever I'm down, I can't always go to him, because I get knocked down further. I want him to be the #1 person I can go to.

I am not too clear on his ability or lack of, to focus in his work and get tasks done there. It is a structured environment, so it is easier, as opposed to home. He is doing his workload well, I know that, because he is a partner in the firm. He does get distracted here, but then who wouldn't with 4 kids?

Last month, he yelled at one of the employees and spewed some obscenities. Apparently, this female employee has a demeanor like she is PMS-ing everyday. So finally, he let her verbally have it, especially after he found out how she despises the non-profit clients she works with. The other two partners said that if he has another outburst, they will let him go. My husband is inclined to let them do that, but we'd be screwed because though his pay is reduced, it's still at a level that is more than he'd get elsewhere in this economy. It certainly doesn't help the overall foundational problem anyway. He'll just carry it to the next one!

So now, I feel like to protect his position in the office, he REALLY needs to be treated. Not to mention that I don't want to live like this forever. The timing is just very bad; because of our finances he's regularly testy or angry. I never know what he will be like when he comes home.

I told him about three months ago that he has ADHD and that he should go on the vitamin supplement that all the kids are on. (See my other posts)
Of course he's in denial. Physically, he is one of the healthiest in the family.
His attitude is that I'll just have to live/deal with it. LORD HELP US!

Thank you everyone for reading. There is so much more. 20 years worth! We have been through a lot as a couple. In 1994 I was clinically depressed, after the birth of our first child, for 4 years before I realized it and sought treatment. I did that because I saw how I was yelling at my children for no reason, I love them. I want my husband to love himself, or at least us, enough to seek help.


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