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I have the same difficulties with school (see my first post "Nursing Student, And May Have ADD")as so many of the people who have posted on this topic.

I have atrocious study habits. I hardly study, then cram the night before for exams. I do very well on exams relative to the amount of studying I accomplish. Lecture happens to be very interesting to me, so I hyperfocus for most of them. I don't retain the information for a very long time, though.

"Getting it all together" seems to just sift through my fingers. I can get organized BEFORE a clinical day, but once I'm in the middle clinical, my plan goes out the window.

I have pretty darn low self esteem, which has always perplexed me because I grew up in a very supportive family environment. I just cannot seem to get a higher self esteem to "stick," even with all the self talk and encouragement from other people. It lasts for a day,or so, then dissipates. This is highly disruptive to me when I am trying to become a confident nurse. Confidence, I have found, can "make you, or break you."

I have been depressed from an early age; about 8-years-old. I was diagnosed with mild bipolarism when I was 23-years-old, and took lithium for 16 years. I kept taking it because I would become more depressed when I stopped taking it. Five months ago I started taking Prozac. Due to the fact that I could hardly stay awake while taking both medications, I stopped taking lithium (too the moans from my psychiatric NP). I am not only happier, I am much less moody than when taking lithium.

I've never been described as "Manic," but I have been described as "Spaced out," "Not connected to Earth," "Flakey" and "Confused." These labels terrify me, as they insinuate "Incompetent."

Thanks for reading this long reply. This is only my second post, so I guess I still have a lot to say!

JessP






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