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Board Index > ADD / ADHD | 0-9 A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z


I have some issue, i am not sure if its actually add or something related..

I have now noticed that during high-school I actually didn't really preform well.. i would tend to procrastinate, sleep a lot, generally not care about a single thing. I remember going to class but i would just sit there and look at the white board while the teacher did the class lesson. so no one really thought anything about it, im in no part hyperactive.. even though i sat there watching my mind was somewhere totally different. it was like I was just day dreaming and doing nothing. My normal sleeping scheduled would be around 12 and then i would need to be up by 6 am for school, however i slept in the bus, at school, and when i got back home from about 4 to 7. after the 7 my mother would be home from work and i would normally try to get some school work done. although not much would be accomplished. often i would feel that when i was trying a notes or something that it felt terribly uncomfortable.. i had the whole desk but it felt that the actual binder where i was righting was in the way... and the book was in the way ect.. i would then try waste time moving things around until i felt better about it. finally when it came to the time where i would graduate had no real motivation, my mom was diagnosed with cancer.. and i just had no clue what to do.. so i took a year off and worked a few months.. always thinking that i would go to university next year.. It came down to the point where i actually applied to university and was accepted.

so off i go to university and start my first 2 weeks really great and all, then comes the time where i need to study for my midterms.. i would go into to study hall for hours and daydream, reread the same page over many times and whatnot.. and come out learning nearly a few pages from my textbook.
:o

later on upon being through repeated failure i just stated giving up and becoming very depressed. I remember sitting in my dorm for hours watching movies or playing games to distract myself from my misery.. I would try so hard to get up and go to the next class and study.. but nothing.. it got to the point where it was so bad i started missing classes and didnt actually leave my room.. i collected bottles filed with urine even though the bathroom was at most 14 feet away. then one day my room mates invite me to a small party and even though i didn't really know them i went ahead.. i drank that day pretty heavily and went to my room to end my day.. later without knocking go 3 of them go to my room and see me and my mess.. :( i felt horrible and had to lie and say that im doing well and my marks are fine.. from that point i felt really @#$% and started drinking... it wasnt until later that i told my mother everything.. i left school and started seeing a doctor.. i was prescribed Effexor 150 mg.. i took it religiously for 3 months with little to no improvement. while i went to a counseling.. nothing worked. My mother and me then decided it would be best if i would come home and see a doctor there. recently i have seen a doctor and i have been on effexor 150mg with abilify to supplement it.. i took this for 1 month and i just gave up on it because it just did not see anything working. i talked to general doctor and got adderall 20mg 2 days ago and im very sure its supposed to work instantly.. however im still falling asleep and with no noticeable improvements. I feel as if my brain does not function or something.. im sick of going nowhere.. and it makes me very :(





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