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[img]http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/dizzy.gif[/img] I hate to sound redundant as I've mentioned some of the following content in previous posts - and I'm not looking for sympathy - I just need advice on how it is you all came to grips and accepted having ADD so I can apply it and MOVE ON......

I've always been in denial and felt embarrassed to tell anyone I have ADD. After 40ish years of feeling stupid, unable to focus on what I'm reading without being bombarded by different thoughts, starting things without completion, concentration/memory (huh?) mind going totally blank when I try to study, and constantly in a fog/daze - I should be relieved knowing WHY I do all this -

but I feel so angry and resentful and have a hard time accepting years of struggle and suffering upon losing jobs, relationships and opportunities wanting to do things but am afraid to as my self esteem has always been on the floor - I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me, but KNEW something was and if you wanted to find me, just look in the self-help dept. of any book store..... I can't help but hate myself and judge and be critical of myself which I definintely need to do....

Adderall, stratera, paxil, xanax, nexium and a whole lotta illnesses have been created due to the overwhelming stress I would feel - I just left a good job due to being so stressed out because I just couldn't focus on the many things they were teaching me and seeing the other people who hired on at the same time I was go through the tests/training so smoothly which made me freak out even more.... if felt like I was walking around with a dunce hat on.... and being told to "relax" made me all the more anxious.

I'm such a good interviewee and exhibit such confidence and intelligence - but it's broken down when I start showing I can't focus. I can focus when I'm left alone, but, that's impossible when you start a new job.

I'm so distraught and wonder how it is that you all have accepted ADD? My mother doesn't understand and has put me down yesterday over losing this job, when, I think she is the one I inherited it from - if it is really in the genes....... this so sucks and I feel so lost, amsick and tired of this crap and can't stop crying over being friggin' frustrated and NEED to snap out of this soon...

am so needing support. please help. sera






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