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I have OCD (mostly about keeping the house clean and tidy) and my boyfriend has pretty severe ADHD. We live together, and we fight constantly about how he forgets to clean up after himself, put things away in the proper place, clean his dishes, and other things that involve cleanliness or tidiness. He's prescribed Adderoll for his ADHD, but he sometimes forgets to take it; either on or off his meds, he still is super forgetful and untidy. It drives me crazy, but he doesn't see it as a big deal. At first, I tried to show him how I liked things to be, and asked him to do it that way from now on. He always says he will, but then keeps forgetting; every time I go into a room and see something like a dirty dish or dirty clothes on the floor, I get upset and start lecturing him about how he doesn't do what he says he'll do. He gets mad, defensive, and annoyed, and we fight. However, even after we make up and agree to be better with each other (he remembers to clean up for me and I don't raise my voice at him), he still forgets. Because he keeps forgetting, I get frustrated and feel unheard, and so I raise my voice to him and get exasperated; he shuts down and stops listening to me, and things get just out of hand from there. This gets us nowhere and only makes things worse. The fighting has started to drive us apart, but I really want to make this work. I need help to cope with our differences so we can save our relationship. If we can't find a middle ground on this, it's very possible we'll end up breaking up. [B]Please help!![/B]





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