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Thank you guys! Sorry it's been a bit since I've been able to read your insightful replies. Here's the update: I am currently on day two of a Ritalin regimen. 20mg 3x a day (the third only if needed). I am finding that I need the third so far. It's hard to document after only two days (considering placebo and low expectations but high hopes). The overriding factor that my doctor considered was that, without insurance, I was paying $129 for the generic amphetamine salts. I am only paying $26 for the Ritalin (same dosage). That alone was enough to push him over the precipice in allowing me to switch. I really need this to work!

Forgive the lost post, by the way, I just had my third dose. :P

Any consistency in mood and focus for the last 48 hours lies in the feeling that I am able to pay attention but I don't feel as productive. However, I feel like I am able to be more deliberate and not as rushed to beat the Clock of Life. After an Adderall dose, I felt like Superman (or more aptly, that I could be him if I tried and should work hard to keep up with that notion). I was producing things right and left but found I had to go back and fix things I over-looked and then apologize to the people I hurt in the mad dash to meet the self-imposed quota required if one is to remain ‹bermensch. I loved the speed! Loved the drive. And lusted after the accolades one throws at you when you can finish six days of work in 6 hours.

But I was getting tired of the burn-out and my body resented the incessant runs of sleep-dodging. Even as I type this, I find I am not chastising myself for having to go back and fix those words with the little squiggly, red underline that scream "you're an idiot for not knowing how to spell "tired" for Christ-sake!".

Ritalin, seems to be working so far. But I have to admit that when my 13-year-old nephew came up to me today and said, "Uncle, it seems like you're back to the uncle I knew when we took our trip to Israel - welcome back!" That brought me to tears I must admit - though they were tears I didn't allow him to see. Then some sadness crept in. But I can deal with that I think.

I can't get over this feeling now that I am sacrificing productivity for the sake of my family and friends. Maybe it's better that way. I'll keep you up to date. Thank you,everyone, for your replies. It helps a lot.

-Yarko
Thank you guys! Sorry it's been a bit since I've been able to read your insightful replies. Here's the update: I am currently on day two of a Ritalin regimen. 20mg 3x a day (the third only if needed). I am finding that I need the third so far. It's hard to document after only two days (considering placebo and low expectations but high hopes). The overriding factor that my doctor considered was that, without insurance, I was paying $129 for the generic amphetamine salts. I am only paying $26 for the Ritalin (same dosage). That alone was enough to push him over the precipice in allowing me to switch. I really need this to work!

Forgive the lost post, by the way, I just had my third dose. :P

Any consistency in mood and focus for the last 48 hours lies in the feeling that I am able to pay attention but I don't feel as productive. However, I feel like I am able to be more deliberate and not as rushed to beat the Clock of Life. After an Adderall dose, I felt like Superman (or more aptly, that I could be him if I tried and should work hard to keep up with that notion). I was producing things right and left but found I had to go back and fix things I over-looked and then apologize to the people I hurt in the mad dash to meet the self-imposed quota required if one is to remain ‹bermensch. I loved the speed! Loved the drive. And lusted after the accolades one throws at you when you can finish six days of work in 6 hours.

But I was getting tired of the burn-out and my body resented the incessant runs of sleep-dodging. Even as I type this, I find I am not chastising myself for having to go back and fix those words with the little squiggly, red underline that scream "you're an idiot for not knowing how to spell "tired" for Christ-sake!".

Ritalin, seems to be working so far. But I have to admit that when my 13-year-old nephew came up to me today and said, "Uncle, it seems like you're back to the uncle I knew when we took our trip to Israel - welcome back!" That brought me to tears I must admit - though they were tears I didn't allow him to see. Then some sadness crept in. But I can deal with that I think.

I can't get over this feeling now that I am sacrificing productivity for the sake of my family and friends. Maybe it's better that way. I'll keep you up to date. Thank you,everyone, for your replies. It helps a lot.

-Yarko





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