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ShiningSnow,

Cool handle. I read your post a few days back. I got to be honest with you. I did not respond as I felt you were playing us. I had that feeling (more like a siren going off)from years of association with dope fiends just like me. The only reason dope fiends do anything is to get dope - for themselves.

I have had a change of heart. While that "feeling" is rarely without some basis, it is too easy misread.

Let's work from that point forward. I want you to consider the possibility that you are being driven by good intentions and a false belief (has no basis in reality). You mentioned you want to start college in a few months - the fall, correct?

Just consider it, that's all. Just consider. Your self-talk: "If I could just get some medical help, one that I trust and know works, maybe I could finally realize the dreams I have had for as long as ADHD has ruthlessly, mercilessly stopped me dead from reaching all the good goals I know I could reach if it were not for the monster that got in my head somehow.

First know for fact, truly believe because it is based in reality, you are not responsible for the beast and nor are responsible for its consequences up to right now.

I am about to pull your "not responsible free pass" permanently from your possession. Beware.

If you believe getting a little Adderall now will empower you to succeed at the college level three months from now, you are badly mistaken.

On the other hand:

I am certain that Adderall will work for you as intended, that is, will enable you to successfully take several brain strained to max courses ......... in about two years from now.

The Adderall will immediately correct the biological problem. Your bigger problem is the same as mine.

What is it, the big, big problem. I know for fact where the bugged up abstraction of the mind lives. It is in the automated processors that they (smart people) say live in the front of our heads. Remember please "automated processors" is an abstraction of whatever does a similar job in our heads as they do in a computer. The whole computer is an automated processor.

If it is automated why does it not run itself. "All you have to do" is program it first. Then computer will do a lot unattended. Trust me, it is no more complicated than quantum physics. What is quantum physics? All I know is you cannot leap without getting the physical first. Sucky pun. Hiss, hiss, boo, boo. Never stopped me before won't stop me now. I do not know a thing about it other than the few people that understand QP have very big brains but as big as their brains are, not as big as a 2 year old. 2 yo do brain programming with the ease that Einstein does light.

The stupid pun was for a good purpose. You must realize how very difficult it is for an adult to learn and master basic life skills as an adult.

Therefore:

Dedicate the next two years to the most brain straining course on record. Course title: "How to reprogram the adult ADHD brain."

Take a few on-line courses. But don't go too heavy for you. I would love to do more on physics related stuff like fluid mechanics. I know a little something about it and more importantly for ADHD I am very interested in the subject. I know about Bernoulli and Boil (sicky pun) and Pascal. Actually there were two good Pascal's. One did something with programming and the other did something with pressure. I guess the brothers worked on the same project. (That was better)

Shakespear? Who is he? Were is he playing this weekend? A smart guy told me that if understood it I would appreciate it. Gotta work to get a little recreation? You know where shakey can go. Seriously. I am a dead man if I try to do anything I do not like from the get-go. So are most other ADHDers. Don't do that. Every subject has its boring than Shakespear moments. That is the boring we need to get mastery over.

I just might do it myself. Where to start? Physics 101 college level. And a few not to crazy math languages.

You must have a copy of OneNote. It is part of the MS Office Pro package and is integrated into IE 11. I have downloaded the entire internet with just a few clicks with IE and OneNote running together. I always have downloaded tons from the net. Then the tons got split up into ounces and the ounces got split up over multiple segments of multiple hard drives and got hopelessly lost. OneNote to the rescue. It makes organizing so intuitive and so easy even I can organize stuff very well.

And much, much more, as they say.

Tell your doctor about your plan, this plan, and he'll prescribe the meds you need. Tell the truth, the whole truth, including how you know Adderall will work. I had to rat on myself once. My doctor trusted me more than ever. Do not fear telling the truth.

Please do not come back if you intend to pull the pull wool over a dedicated well-intentioned doctors' eyes. I guess I can't say "do not come back." This is not my site. So please, consider what I've said carefully. It took me decades to learn and appreciate the value of the info I gave you. Please respect.

Bye,

~Bob





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