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Addiction & Recovery Message Board


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I am a mother of 3, suffer from Bipolar disorder, fibromyalgia, and I have just left a religious cult, that I was raised in.

I have been taking Adderal for what I thought may be ADD, I am 36 yrs old and have always had such mood swings, and thought this med might help me balance myself out and help me lose weight. Weight is a major factor in my life now, as I was always thin, but now I problems with weight.
I am admitting to taking the adderal for weight lose more than for ADD.
I know getting off of it is going to not be so hard as it will be adjusting to my appetite coming back. I have eating disorder issues beginning now, and have even purged after gorging out once the pills wore off.

I take 1 mg of klonapin at nite for the bipolar and will probably stay on that. It helps me not to grind my teeth.

I have horrible mood swings that get worse with PMS. I have been on prozac and it help with that alot.

I can go to my doctor and tell him all of this but I cant afford a pshycitrist right now.
My plan is to taper the Adderal off , and realize and admit i was using it for the wrong reason,,,,,

I dont know if this will work, but I think a combination of prozac, as long as I dont gain weight , might help the root of most of my problems.

I am under alot of stress with the kids and the hubby at times, and our whole lives have changed because of getting out of this certain religion.

I want to get off the meds, and maybe one day the Klonopin too........ I dont want to be too hasty in getting rid of that one , for fear of ending up in the ER.

My mother was addicted to prescription pain pills for years and it consumed her. Our life was hell, and I dont want that for my kids. My mother ending up committing suicide.

I want to face that I have drug seeking behavior when I have the terrible pain of fibromyalia. I am hoping that Prozac with help with that too.

I want to eat again, but healthy, and exercise and feel normal and not toxic as I do right now.

I think i will always need some kind of antidepressant for the bipolar it is bipolar II not the severe kind, yet.

I feel ashamed that I went out to seek diet pills , even convincing myself it would help me concentrate and be good for me.

I also called my doctor asking for soma for the muscle pain,,,,,,,,, I got no reply.

All of this makes me feel such shame and I dont want to feel that way. I want to be as free from drugs as I can, I have even thought of getting pain pills from someone I know, but I would end up addicted to those too.
Just needed to vent on that.





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