It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....

Addiction & Recovery Message Board

Addiction & Recovery Board Index

Lisa...Spoken like a true addict. Always thinking of you. "tough love or what ever kind of crap you are trying on me, that you probably learned in al-anon meetings, is not going to work." First off if you knew anything about the other side of your addiction which by the way is the people who stand by you and love you UNCONDITIONALLY you would know it is NOT al-anon meetings. Those are for people dealing with a family member that have a Alcohol problem. The meeting I attend Sweetie is Nar-anon. Which is a meeting for people who deal with someone who has a Substance abuse problem. Second..."I don't need you to remind me that my children and husband need me." well I think I did because you obviously were not when you were thinking of poping those pills. Your quote was.."He is the one that has been doing my job, while I am high or out trying to get high." So was that you were thinking of them while he was doing your job? Maybe I missed that part Lisa. Here is what I do not get...Because you want..... now here is what you said "God how i just want to be numb." And your response to the poor me attitude... "why is it that every time i try to quit these freakin pills my whole life starts to crumble." Well you know what your even saying your want to go numb is selfish. After all the Crap you put your family through you have your nerve even thinking that way. Oh and yes...DEERME..."UNLESS YOU ARE ADDICTED, ESPECIALLY TO PAIN PILLS YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT LISA IS GOING THROUGH. LIVING WITH AN ADDIDICT,COMPARED TO BEING ONE IS LIKE WATCHING A HOCKEY GAME AND PLAYING IN ONE. I AM ADDICTED TO THE SAME THING LISA IS. IT IS HARD ENOUGH TO GET OFF THESE THINGS WITH A NORMAL FAMILY LIFE, THAN WITH YOUR WHOLE WORLD COMIING DOWN AROUND YOU. ALONG WITH TIM AND AUTUMN, LISA HAS BEEN THE BIGGEST HELP TO ME IN MY ADDICTION. LAY OFF HER, SHE DOESNT NEED THIS CRAP, ESPECIALLY RIGHT NOW. I KNOW I WIL PI** ALOT OF PEOPLE OFF WITH THIS POST, BUT THIS IS HOW I FEEL. AND RIGHT NOW I DONT CARE." Well you should be the spokes person for all people on pain medicine because since you know so much about it you are the expert right? But you know what DEERME? Your family is your victims. Those are the people that stood by you when you were the most unloveable. The ones you lied to and maybe even stole from so you could get those pills. So excuse me if I touched a nerve. But until you are HURT by a addict do not stand in judgement of me either.

Lisa... I believe I never said you did not support this board. I do not believe I ever made any judgemental bashings towards you. what I said was..."I understand why you are upset but that is not a reason to sabotoge your recovery." Which I understand why you are upset. I would be as well. However it is not the time to take a pill and "NUMB" yourself. It is the time to get strong. That was what I was saying. and I do think it would be very selfish of you to do that. I am sorry if that bothers you that I say that but again I think it is.

And.."I, am merely here to make some friends and get some SUPPORT." I was supportive I said "Stay Strong Lisa! Do it! You can. I believe in you. Your family needs you to do it for them now more then ever." Where is the non supportive thing in that? However I did not tell you what you wanted to hear. I was merely stating how I felt as a victim to this horrible disease.

So you had a bad moment. You will have many. "I was having a bad moment and was hoping a few people would write to me and give me a little support...which they did." which I was supportive to you. But I did not sit there and say Gee I feel bad for you. Because excuse me but I do not. I do not take your addiction on as my own person mission in life. I will not miss a hour of sleep because of your bad choices. I will live on regardless of what you do. And unless you are a victim to this disease as you stated..." If you are not an addict yourself how the hell can you give me advice, when you are on the outside looking in." You are on the outside self centered and thinking of yourself as you just did.Like a true addict.

and lastly.."We genuinely want to stop or we would not be here on this board." No you would not be here either on this board you would be on the phone with your sponser talking and saying I feel like getting Numb. Or you would get to a meeting and talk about those feelings. But you did come here so I give you credit. You did do that.

"We all have our days, and sorry, today, is my turn. I don't need you kicking me right now" Lisa...I was not kicking you around. If I came off like that I apologize. I was reacting as any person that cares about recovery would. I am so sorry if you felt like I was stomping on you. That was not my intention. I was hoping you would not take those pills and you get Strong. I am proud of you for seeing day five.

"i am weak and fragile and am 4 days into this living hell." Your right Lisa...It is hell and I am sorry you have to go through it. I am sorry your family has to as well.

Just for the record to anyone else that bashes or bashed me...I had a 23 year old herion/coke addict at home. He was an addict since 13. He was near death in my arms...5 times. He had a 1 year old son. He had also been homeless many times. He had stolen nearly all my money and car. As well as had my home taken from me for using my home as a place to make and deal drugs from. So you can say what you want about me and think as you want but it will not matter to me.

He was in a recovery program after being homeless for a year and recently was discharged. He asked me to pick him up and drop him off at a homeless shelter. Which I did and he told me he is NOT making any promises. As they can be broken. However he will say he WILL make this because he can only prove himself. I have 4 other children in my home 18, 8, 7, and 3. We agreed he could stay with us until he found a place. Since that time he was clean until recently. He stole money out of my purse, my car, checks from my 18 year old and he used. When I came home with my younger childern he was on the bathroom floor OD'ed. My 4 year old found him. When I went to him...he was near death. I called 911 and held him in my arms as we waited as I have done the other times. His needles and bags were on the floor so I grabbed what I could and set them on the sink so the children would not see. As i did he said.."Mom please...Help me. Mom please..." It was at that moment I decided.I would do what it took to get between him and drugs. Even if it means doing as I did here on this board. The ambulance came and they said GREAT CALL MOM. He was taken to the hospital where he spent 2 days and was released and cuffed. Some how He showed up at my home and he said nothing as to why. Only said please yada yada yada. I came home from work and he was "HIGH" he scared my younger children to death. Who are on an emotional roller coaster. So this past week he was outside telling me how awful I am and I layed into him. He walked away and I knew that was the last day I would ever see him again. Which he came back about two hours later. He was crying and he grabbed me and hugged me as tight as he could and said" I do not know why you love me as you do" I told him because I love you unconditionally regardless of what you do. I may HATE what you do...but I LOVE YOU DEARLY." He said " Mom this is all I have. I have been doing this half my life." (Now how sad is that people????) I said yes and for half my adult life I have continued to love you regardless of this. You may slip which I expect you to do. However it is what you do afterwards that proves yourself. He hugged me very tight. saturday morning people I awoke and he was gone. Last evening the police were at my door and my fears are now my reality. So this is my last post here. As I no longer have to "Understand" however take heed...The next time you bash may not understand why they say what they said. Maybe it was for a very VERY good reason. Just as much as you want everyone to understand you...When you die you leave behind everyone else that loves you to pick up the pieces. I have had to explain to my 4 year old why her brother is gone. I will have to explain to his son why his father is not here to raise him. THAT IS REALITY!

Lisa...I wish you well sweetie. I really really do. God bless you and your family..that is from the very bottom of my heart. I am so sorry for you and me. I do not know which is up right now...but I had to respond and share my horrifing news.


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:34 PM.

© 2020 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!